WWYD...might have to turn 2 year old ff

[hunypooh77]

Ds2 is rf in the enter of both vehicles. He rides in an XTSL and a RXT. Dd (6 1/2) always sits on the driver side either Fr85 or Parkway sgl and Ds1 (12) in just seat belt on the passenger side. Problem is that Ds2 keeps kicking Dd and Ds1, hard, in the face!! He just keeps doing it and just keeps getting worse no matter what we do and he does it in both vehicles. Ds1 has had a bloody nose and Dd almost a black eye! I am afraid he is really going to hurt one of them. He turned 2 on 5/25 so he is just about 2 1/2 and 32 pounds. I really dont want to turn him, its making me sick just thinking about it, but I see no other choice. The only other seat I have for him is a Blvd 70 G3 but I had to get him he RXT because he didnt fit comfortably rear facing in it and he is much bigger now than he was when I tried...
Should I just turn him or is here something else I can do?

 

[CMeMeC]

I do not mean this as rude as its going to sound, but that's a discipline issue and should be handled accordingly.

 

[Suzibeck]

Is he neurologically typical? What exactly discipline wise have you tried?

 

[hunypooh77]

Discipline is not working, and there is not much you can do while driving down the road. We have told him not to kick that its not nice, we have yelled at him, cant exactly take anything away from him in the car when he has nothing to lose, cant time out in the car. I dont know what else can be done discipline wise, I dont think that punishment hours later when we get home will work. He thinks its funny when he does it.

 

[babyherder]

Tie his shoelaces together

 

[Mysweethoneybee]

Not sure if it would work for you, but when my son did that to his brothers we bought him shoes with laces and tied his shoes together after putting him in his carseat. He was younger at the time. He also threw a huge fit and broke his chest clip of his evenflo titan that ride (yeah that horrible of a fit), but he didn't kick them again. But thinking about it someone might say that it was child abuse or something so maybe not a good idea.

 

[TechnoGranola]

My not quite 2 year old has done to this to her older sisters, but no bleeding noses or black eyes so far! We explain that we don't kick because it hurts people, etc. but when they're little sometimes they just don't get that. If she makes her middle sister cry, she's upset and wants to hug her but doesn't quite get that kicking her is what made her cry!

I have noticed that it occurs more when the other two are ignoring her or if she's tired/bored. If they are all talking together or playing, it doesn't happen. But sometimes they just aren't in the mood for toddler entertainment, ya know? So we like to keep some little toys in the vehicle that she doesn't otherwise get to play with or hand her an iPhone...ha ha...seriously though, handing her crap to entertain her focuses her on something else rather than kicking. Not sure if that's something you've tried.

Oh and we remove shoes as a shoe to the face hurts even more than a foot.

 

[cookie123]

I think I'd try the shoe lace thing honestly. Or could you possibly set up a few rides where you could leave him home if he does it? I wonder if that would work. Say you're going someplace he would like to go, tell him if he kicks he can't come. THen when he does it, take him back and leave him with dad or some similar set up.

Personally I'd try hard to cure him of it. Good luck what ever you decide. Let us know how it goes.

 

[MommyShannon]

Ugh, I agree, disciplining a 2 year old is nice in theory but not possible most of the time on the go. You could get one of those foam squares like you cover a floor with to be a wall. My FF kids find plenty of ways to hurt each other when they are beside each other too. It's not as bad as a foot to a face, but probably wouldn't help you much turning him.

 

[Suzibeck]

Maybe a sticker chart where one sticker is given for each ride where there is no kicking and a prize is earned after so many stickers? By that age my kids totally were able to understand delayed consequences so I would consider that as well.

 

[safeinthecar]

Flame away, but I'd give the older kids permission to defend themselves and a roll of duct tape. Kinda hard to kick someone when your foot is taped to the the opposite knee.

 

[CMeMeC]

Flame away, but I'd give the older kids permission to defend themselves and a roll of duct tape. Kinda hard to kick someone when your foot is taped to the the opposite knee.

Something like this just might do the trick...

 

[Suzibeck]

Flame away, but I'd give the older kids permission to defend themselves and a roll of duct tape. Kinda hard to kick someone when your foot is taped to the the opposite knee.

I like this too. I would need to have a discussion with my kids as to what forms of self defense are appropriate, but I would do this!

 

[BookMama]

Not sure if it would work for you, but when my son did that to his brothers we bought him shoes with laces and tied his shoes together after putting him in his carseat. He was younger at the time. He also threw a huge fit and broke his chest clip of his evenflo titan that ride (yeah that horrible of a fit), but he didn't kick them again. But thinking about it someone might say that it was child abuse or something so maybe not a good idea.

I wish I had thought of this when DD2 was 2-3 and still RF! We had 3-across in a Ford Focus wagon (recently upgraded to an Odyssey) and it was absolute torture for all of us to ride in the car together. Torture for the kids sitting next to her, and torture for the grownups in the front seat who had to listen to everyone fighting. I think this trick totally would have worked with her. (She turned FF shortly after she turned 4, plus we don't have a 3-across any longer, so no issues now.)

Ugh, I agree, disciplining a 2 year old is nice in theory but not possible most of the time on the go.

I agree with this. It's a nice idea, but easier said than done, for sure!

 

[Brigala]

I also would teach the older ones how to (appropriately) defend themselves.

MY daughter is over 3 and there is absolutely no way she would understand something like a sticker chart. Different kids develop these kinds of understandings at different times... I'm still waiting on that level of comprehension from my daughter. My heart sinks whenever I hear someone suggest, "Why don't you just explain..." Explain? Seriously? I can't explain ANYTHING to my daughter. If there isn't an Daniel Tiger episode she can learn it from, she isn't going to understand it. And I don't think there's a Daniel Tiger episode that covers "don't kick your siblings in the face when you're in the car." All the experts keep telling me that her verbal skills and comprehension skills are age-appropriate, but I question it every time I hear someone talk about using a sticker chart or "explaining" something to their kids this age.

Fortunately, my older kids are young adults, so they have been able to appropriately deal with the kicking problem by just holding onto her ankles and not allowing it. For younger kids, duct tape might not be a bad tool. You'll have to teach them how to use it, though, and they have to be mature enough and trustworthy enough to handle that. DS1 is probably old enough for this responsibility. If you can, you might switch the kids around a bit so that the toddler is never directly next to the 6 year old, though.

Good luck. This is not an easy issue.

 

[MommyShannon]

I also would teach the older ones how to (appropriately) defend themselves.

MY daughter is over 3 and there is absolutely no way she would understand something like a sticker chart. Different kids develop these kinds of understandings at different times... I'm still waiting on that level of comprehension from my daughter. My heart sinks whenever I hear someone suggest, "Why don't you just explain..." Explain? Seriously? I can't explain ANYTHING to my daughter. If there isn't an Daniel Tiger episode she can learn it from, she isn't going to understand it. And I don't think there's a Daniel Tiger episode that covers "don't kick your siblings in the face when you're in the car." All the experts keep telling me that her verbal skills and comprehension skills are age-appropriate, but I question it every time I hear someone talk about using a sticker chart or "explaining" something to their kids this age.

Fortunately, my older kids are young adults, so they have been able to appropriately deal with the kicking problem by just holding onto her ankles and not allowing it. For younger kids, duct tape might not be a bad tool. You'll have to teach them how to use it, though, and they have to be mature enough and trustworthy enough to handle that. DS1 is probably old enough for this responsibility. If you can, you might switch the kids around a bit so that the toddler is never directly next to the 6 year old, though.

Good luck. This is not an easy issue.

Ha ha, Daniel Tiger is awesome. Seriously was the key to DD2 using the potty. She will still run to me, sing the song, then run to the bathroom. My kids did grasp things at different ages. DD2 (my 3rd) is 3 years 8 months and very sharp. I would say she understands sticker charts ok, but mostly because she sees my 6 and 8 year old getting excited or wanting stickers. It's not the same understanding they have of it.
DD2 did like when I printed all different pictures of characters about 2" high that she got for going potty. She taped one to the door every time. That might help in this car situation if you don't mind things taped on your seats. She puts the stickers from the doctor's on the headrest she's facing or the ARB by her feet. At 2 though or even my 3.5 year old, I've found few consequences that matter to her and normally it's that she's being dragged along places the older kids need to go so threatening going home doesn't help.

 

[Suzibeck]

MY daughter is over 3 and there is absolutely no way she would understand something like a sticker chart. Different kids develop these kinds of understandings at different times... I'm still waiting on that level of comprehension from my daughter.

Every kid is certainly different. Three out of four of my kids could do sticker charts at two so I threw that idea out there. Not sure if it could work for the original poster. Honestly, this is something I would probably tell my kid "If you do that again, I will pull over and spank you.", but I know spanking is not liked on here. I rarely spank but kicking to the point of bloodying a nose, blackening an eye... Yep, I would, with warning that I will spank IF you do that again.

ETA: signing off now. Yes, I know all the spanking teaches kids violence stuff. I am not saying anyone should spank, just that is probably what I would do in this case. Duck..

 

[lpperry]

Ahh I understand what you are going through!! We have 3 across in my husbands car and the Claudia does the same thing to Oliver when my husband picks them up twice a week. It's a nice 20 minute drive for him, I am sure. I absolutely refuse to drive with those two in that car, even though my husband wants me to take it places to save gas milage. No thank you! I'll take the Odyssey where they are separated!!

In the van Claudia sits next to the used-to-be baby, so she never could bother him. She can't kick him because they are both rearfacing, but she will bother him sometimes. Nothing really worked with discipline in the car. Once, we were going to preschool and had 3 across in the van with her and two preschoolers. When she wouldn't stop kicking, I had to pull over and move her to a seat in the back of the van by herself. Just recently, I have been able to tell her, "If you do it again, I will take away your _______." (insert whatever toy/purse/animal she is into that day).

Someone suggested putting a sunshade in between the kicker and the other kid. I told my husband to do it, but I am not sure if it worked.

I would probably move the 12 year old to the middle and make the 2 year old sit outboard, so he can only bother the 12 year old. Then let the twelve year old restrain the feet if he starts kicking. I don't know, it just is such an annoying, stressful situation having to drive like this.

 

[zactayaus]

When ds3 was doing this to dd and ds2 we switched him to a seat with higher sides and he couldn't reach far enough over to kick them. After a while we switched him back to his RN and he never did it again.

 

[canadiangie]

My youngest is 3 and responds well to being told 'no, that hurts Emma'. However, if it became an issue I could likely see myself buying her some laced shoes and tying feet together. Betcha it would only take one time lol.