When to turn a child FF when they won't reach the RF limit for a LONG time

MPQ8903 · Feb 12, 2009

My 2.5 year old DD weighs about ~27lbs and is ~36" tall. She is currently riding rear-facing in a Evenflo Triumph Advance. She's tall and slender just like her daddy. At the rate she's going I don't think she will reach 35lbs until she's in elementary school so when would be an okay time to turn her FF? She starts preschool in the fall but I'm not sure about their drop-off/pick-up protocal yet. I drive a Chrysler Town and Country mini-van. Her seat is currently in the captain's chair behind the passenger's seat. Her legs are starting to look like they are getting a bit cramped but she doesn't complain at all so I guess it doesn't bother her.

I was thinking of getting her a Graco Nautilus with our income tax return and turning her around when the weather starts getting warmer. The thought of turning her FF makes me a bit nervous but I don't think she will be reaching 35lbs within the next few years.

TIA

Evolily · Feb 12, 2009

I'd keep her rear facing, too much of an increase in safety. In fact I've tried to convince my mom to buy a convertible and turn my 32 month old brother (30ish lbs, under 15 in torso) because I am convinced it is that much of an increase in safety. If she was 4, I'd say sure- turn her. If she was 3 I wouldn't necessarily object. But at 2 1/2 I'd say she is too young to forward face :twocents: . I believe with 2 year olds it's a 400% increase in safety to rearface- in Sweden they reaface to 4 or 5 years old. The physics of rear facing mean it's safer for EVERYONE.

I'd also park and walk to preschool to pick her up and drop her off if they have a bus line. Bus lines are PITAs- my 4 y/o brother's bus line aide was mad because he wasn't wearing a coat in the car.

steph · Feb 12, 2009

I'd keep her rf until she outgrows it by height. There are many members here who have their 3 and 4 year olds (occasional small 5 year old) rear facing. My son will be 3 at the end of March and he is rear facing (see the pic below). He just sits cross legged or props his legs up.

AtTheSouthDam · Feb 12, 2009

My DD2 is the same size and I think it is great. If she hasn't hit 35 lbs by the time she starts kindergarten I will turn her then. But according to the growth charts she should hit 35 lbs within a few months of her forth birthday.

Here for preschool we can't drop and run. We have to walk them in and sign a paper. Ditto to pick up. If you are not the parent you have to show photo ID and be on the approved pick up list. I don't know if this common in other states though. So few people in the my older daughter's preschool even realize my toddler is still rear facing and big sis is in a harness. The other kids are all in booster now at 4

, Beth is the oldest in her class.

ketchupqueen · Feb 12, 2009

Well, seats are outgrown by height as well as weight. When her head is one inch below the shell, it's time to turn her.

Honestly, I'd keep her rear-facing as long as she fits! Some kids make it to 4 or more! Now, if she were complaining, that's another matter-- in that case you might want to make a goal of "if you haven't outgrown it by 3" or "by 4, we will turn you." (Depending on how far away those milestones are.) But the most significant benefit is to kids under 2, and you've already made it that far (good job!) Now, the thing is that is ANYONE is safer rear-facing at any age, as long as the seat fits correctly (within both weight and height limits.) But if you are okay doing it before it's actually outgrown, then you just have to decide for yourself when it becomes a convenience issue or whatever and the benefits of turning her outweigh the risks (though some people actually find that kids complain MORE when FF than RF because of legs dangling, etc., so it is often more comfortable to RF.)

Oh, and I agree with the PP-- you can't just "drop" a preschool kid, you have to sign them in and out, etc.

Pixels · Feb 12, 2009

I've given this some consideration, as my DD probably won't hit 35 pounds until around age 5.

My personal opinion, at this point, is that DD will ride RFing to 35 pounds if she reaches that first (obviously). At age 4, I will consider her feelings if she expresses an interest in FFing (or discomfort RFing). I'll probably turn her regardless of weight when she starts Kindergarten.

Mommy0608 · Feb 12, 2009

My DD is almost identical in size, and is in the same seat, still RF (see pic in my siggy). I don't plan to turn her until she reaches the limit... but if she still fits when she starts Kindergarten, I'll consider it then. The safety benefits are just SOOO huge... I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I turned her before she was too big to RF and something happened.

Good for you for keeping her RF so far! That's so much more than most parents do. :thumbsup:

MPQ8903 · Feb 12, 2009

Thanks for the replys! I think I will wait until she outgrows it by height. She has a few inches to go there.

Thanks for the tip about the preschool drop-off/pick up too. She's my first and this whole school thing is new to me. She's growing way too fast for me!

fyrfightermomma · Feb 12, 2009

My almost 4 year old is 24.5 lbs. I know exactly what you are talking about. She hasn't gained in two years. I have made the parental decision to turn her this spring and not even 25 lbs.

To me, age is more important. You want the bones to begin the hardening which is between age 3-6. Getting as far as I did was great in my mind. I guess weight just doesn't matter to me. She's not any less safe than a 35 lb 4 year old.

So you have to do what your gut tells you to do. After age 3 I usually say it's up to the parents

For us, we are done. She barely fits, she is uncomfortable, she is so tall with such long legs that we literally can't cram her in anymore (40" with a 12" torso) We aren't going to RF until weight or height either (she only has a 12" torso so she has inches above her head yet). In US seats, its just not always feasible to rear face a 4-6 year old. Depends on the seat I guess, but I really can't find any now she fits great in. She is so far from both limits, we just aren't willing to do it

So you just have to do the research and make your decision. It's easy to say "rear face to the limits" or "harness to the limits" etc when you have a "normal" child. But when you have an underweight child, sometimes it just isn't feasible. My kid would be rear facing until age 8 if I did it to the limit.

Just like not boostering until 40 lbs, it's not gonna happen here. SHe'll probably be around 35. And I'm ok with that. Again to me, age is more important

I'd try to get to age 3-4 and rethink then. You may feel it's fine. You may think it's time to turn. It's up to you

keri1292 · Feb 12, 2009

As long as she is comfortable, I'd keep her RFing. You can see my peanut RFing in our T&C below. He's 4y7m and 28lbs.

Did you recline the seatback two clicks for the LATCH install? That gives a tad more room.

serabi · Feb 12, 2009

We're in a similar situation. My 2.5 year old is about 24ish lbs? Maybe 25. 11"? torso and about 34" tall? she's about an inch over the bottom slots of a Marathon when RFing. So she's almost all legs.

We will make it to 3, that's non negociable in my mind. After that a lot is going to depend on how she's handling it. She has a lot of sensory issues and being crammed into a car seat excrabates some of them. We've fixed some of the issues by switching to a lower profile car seat, but there's only so much I can do with American seats.

I really think after about 3ish it's totally a decision based on the child. That's just me though.

bobandjess99 · Feb 12, 2009

I have a miniature guy,(although he's packed on the weight lately) and i too decided on age 4..if he still isn't there, I will turn him *if* he wants to.
I think 2.5 is still way too young, 3 is iffy...3.5 is the bare minimum I would consider it, 4 makes me feel a lot better.

Hollyob · Feb 12, 2009

Regarding preschool drop-off, our preschool does have drop-off between Oct and March. One aid brings the sign-in paper to the car for the parent/caregiver to sign, while the other aid helps the child exit the car. I'm sure there are plenty others that do this.

flutie128 · Feb 12, 2009

The preschool my son goes to is a very small church run and state certified preschool. The parents bring the kids in to the classroom in the morning for drop off. For pick depending on the weather the kids walk out to the sidewalk in a line and wait there for the parents to come and take them to the car or the parents come into the lobby area for pick up in bad or cold weather.

solmama · Feb 13, 2009

My ds is a little guy, too. He was 24lbs at 2 years (last April). He is currently about 30lbs. He's gained a lot of height and weight this past year. He's still rear-facing and doesn't mind at all. I'll turn him when he outgrows his seat by either height/weight, which might be sooner than I think.

natysr · Feb 13, 2009

Another mom of a peanut here. My son is 30 pounds. He will be 4 1/2 next friday.

At his age and size, we are taking it one day at a time. If he starts to complain that he is uncomfortable, I would turn him around. But, so far, no complaints. Why mess with a good think. I know he will be a know-it-all backseat driver, so the longer I delay this, the better. (our seat is the 33 pound version. I think we will probably make it to his 5th birthday before he hits 33 pounds)

Remember the bones in the neck fuse over time between the ages of 2 and 6. Your DD is still on the low end of that scale. I would shoot for a goal of 3 years. Then, re-evaluate. If things are still fine, I would shoot for a goal of 3 1/2. Then a goal of 4 years.

BTW, good for you for keeping her RF this long. I know what its like to have others think you are crazy for doing it, but you just never know. I used to get some heat from friends. Then I was in a very bad accident. I had 2 broken feet. DH was also injured. My son was 22 months old and rearfacing. He was fine!

emandbri · Feb 13, 2009

My kids have been to 3 preschools and one you had to go in and take them to the classroom and the other two you pulled up and the teachers took them in and after school the teachers put the children in the seats.

My son is at a school that does the drop off and pick up now. He is in the very middle of the van and he was able to get his straps on and I could then turn around and buckle him. Last year I hurt my back and put him on the side and the teachers buckled him in and I would say his straps were twisted 75% of the time.

Because of this I'm on the fence about what to do when my daughter starts in July. Right now she is 2 1/2 and 32 lbs and her seat goes to 35 lbs, it might not be an issue she might reach 35 lbs. I do not feel comfortable with them buckling her in when I can't see what they are doing.

I don't want to turn her full time so I have three options.

Teach the teachers how to buckle the kids in correctly (I might be doing this anyway

). I thought about doing this earlier but I wanted to wait until I took my re-certification class. Even if I did teach them I'm still not sure if I would be comfortable with not seeing what they are doing.

Put her in the middle and jump out and help them get her in.

Leave her seat where it is and let her use my older son's seat on the days she has school. He is in a sunshine kids radian, the straps would be a bit above her shoulders but I've tried her in it and it isn't too bad.

Part of me wants to keep her rear-facing just to show everyone best practice! The teachers shouldn't be too shocked, they see her now every time I drop Benjamin off.

Good Luck!

Pixels · Feb 13, 2009

If the teachers were putting my child in, I would (1) teach them how to do it correctly, and then (2) supervise/check before I pulled away every time until I was confident that it would be done correctly. Remember, YOU are the parent, and YOU are the driver. You are responsible for your child's safety, not the teachers (at the point that they are in your car).

The only people who I trust to put my child in her seat are my DH and my brother. I taught them how to do it (why would they read the manual?

) and checked their work until I was confident in it. Even now, if I'm right there anyway, I always double check.

If you teach the teachers how to do it correctly in your car, they might *gasp* do it correctly in other cars too.

emandbri · Feb 13, 2009

pixels99 said:
If the teachers were putting my child in, I would (1) teach them how to do it correctly, and then (2) supervise/check before I pulled away every time until I was confident that it would be done correctly. Remember, YOU are the parent, and YOU are the driver. You are responsible for your child's safety, not the teachers (at the point that they are in your car).

Oh I did make them fix the straps, sorry I wasn't clear.

He was also in a marathon which, for those who don't know, has thick straps! I don't even want to know what the straps looked like in other cars!

Jan06twinmom · Feb 13, 2009

I think it's always interesting to read the replies!

I have a rf 4 year old. She weighs 32lbs with her shoes on and her car seat has a 33lb limit. At this point, I would be willing to turn her ff full time. However, she has expressed a strong preference for being rf so I'm keeping her this way a little longer.

She's a twin and her twin brother has been ff since 2 1/2 years old when he hit 33lbs. You might think she'd want to be ff like her twin, but no. I wonder if she likes knowing she can do something that Marcus can't!

Melanie

When to turn a child FF when they won't reach the RF limit for a LONG time

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