Siblings and fighting in the car

[snowbird25ca]

My kids aren't allowed to fight/annoy/vex/harass each other in the car, period.
We actually don't get any problems from dd and ds, they love each other, when issues do arise, it's with the older boys (12, 13 and 16, all over 100 lb and over 5 feet tall, in seat belts) who are all obviously facing forward, and they are immediately reprimanded/threatened/beaten.

Ok, I have to ask - how do you prevent your kids from fighting? My kids are pretty typical and like to challenge the rules from time to time. It's all fine and dandy to have rules, but you can't prevent every single argument. Unless I'm missing something?

We are not ones to give in to our kid's fits and are consistent in following through with consequences, so it's not a discipline issue... kids just have a certain amount of free will which gets them in trouble from time to time. So I'm really curious how you enforce this rule to the point that disagreements never start... Maybe my kids are just oddballs in that sometimes they will choose the consequence just so that they can have a moment of doing what they want?

eta: My kids love each other too. But that doesn't mean they don't also enjoy bugging each other from time to time.

 

[bobandjess99]

.. Maybe my kids are just oddballs in that sometimes they will choose the consequence just so that they can have a moment of doing what they want?
.

Nope, i think that's very normal. *I* do it too, lol. I think everyone does, to some extent.
I think the severity of the consequences is what matters.
For example, I will say...speed, and chance getting the consequences, because the consequences (a ticket) while annoying, aren't that terrible, and I can live with them if need be.
But, again for example, I did not, despite wanting to VERY much, haul off and punch the exceedingly rude lady in the store earlier today, because that consequence (arrested, going to jail) was not acceptable to me.
You just have to make it so the amount of pleasure derived from the breaking of the rule does not exceed the unpleasantness of the punishment it will incur.
I suppose we are what some parents would term exceedingly harsh in our punishments, but we can live with that.


Also, and I very feely admit this, this is simply not an area where my family has issues. It's luck of the draw. The kids aren't angels, LOL, not even close. There are other areas of life where, in order to prevent them from misbehaving in a certain way/breaking a certain rule, we would literally have to be willing to beat them until they were bruised and bloody and lock them away in a darkened cellar in order for the punishment to outweigh the pleasure of the crime. Strict as we are, we don't go quite that far, LOL.
It just so happens, regular standard reprimands are more than enough to keep their behavior in line in the car. I have not however, found ANYthing that will prevent ds from, if he can obtain one, dumping out containers of lotion/shampoo/soap, etc and rubbing it all over the floor.

 

[rachandsoph]

Nope, i think that's very normal. *I* do it too, lol. I think everyone does, to some extent.
I think the severity of the consequences is what matters.
For example, I will say...speed, and chance getting the consequences, because the consequences (a ticket) while annoying, aren't that terrible, and I can live with them if need be.
But, again for example, I did not, despite wanting to VERY much, haul off and punch the exceedingly rude lady in the store earlier today, because that consequence (arrested, going to jail) was not acceptable to me.
You just have to make it so the amount of pleasure derived from the breaking of the rule does not exceed the unpleasantness of the punishment it will incur.
I suppose we are what some parents would term exceedingly harsh in our punishments, but we can live with that.


Also, and I very feely admit this, this is simply not an area where my family has issues. It's luck of the draw. The kids aren't angels, LOL, not even close. There are other areas of life where, in order to prevent them from misbehaving in a certain way/breaking a certain rule, we would literally have to be willing to beat them until they were bruised and bloody and lock them away in a darkened cellar in order for the punishment to outweigh the pleasure of the crime. Strict as we are, we don't go quite that far, LOL.
It just so happens, regular standard reprimands are more than enough to keep their behavior in line in the car. I have not however, found ANYthing that will prevent ds from, if he can obtain one, dumping out containers of lotion/shampoo/soap, etc and rubbing it all over the floor.

:ROTFLMAO: Sounds like my daughter!

 

[BudgieStew]

I don't think it is a RF/FF issue with my two but rather if they can touch one another.

Hmm I can't really recall the kids fighting with each other when they were RF/FF but they were in bucket seats with no console in the middle(just wait the console makes a difference). So they could not reach each other or their toys.

When we would visit my parents..and were RF/FF with the seats installed right beside one another...good lord...DS would pull his legs up and put his feet in DD face. Nice. I haven't had to put their seats right beside one another since DD been FF but I imagine it would be the same deal only worse.

The past few months I had DS in the third row and DD in the second row each on a different side and there was no fighting with each other, with me of course)

I moved DS to the second row for the winter and they are in bucket seats but have a centre console which they fight over, I mean share. If DD puts her mittens on it, DS throws them on the floor, etc.