It definitely can't touch if it's lifting the seat up. Where is the ball sitting in the angle indicator? And how old is the child using the seat? If the child has good head control, can sit unsupported, you can put the seat more upright by pressing down on the foot area of the seat while you are installing it.
Another trick is to stand behind the seat (put your front seat all the way forward and flip the seat back forward) and press your body/hips into the My Ride so it really presses into the vehicle seat back.
If you're using the lower anchors, lift the cover off from around the cupholder and expose the slot for the rear facing belt path. You can pull the tail end of the latch strap through there and it's way easier to get tight.
You shouldn't have any issue fitting it in your Pilot in the 2nd row for sure. I don't know enough about the Pilot's third row.