My pediatrician still isn't recommending extended RF

[Momto2whosews]

I would love to have a form letter to send to all the peds in my practice. I like the idea of including brochures and the AAP statement with highlighted sections too. I think they need it and I'd love to send it to each and every one of them.

Our primary care ped. never actually mentions it, but our former one did (same practice) and the nurse practicioner I've seen told me "we're just happy when they make it to 9 months rear-facing" :jaw: And she was pg at the time - I only hope she learns a thing or two now that she's a mother. Or maybe she won't, in which case I feel sorry for her child.

 

[scatterbunny]

Okay, please forgive my ignorance cause I haven't been to a ped in years. But why do they ask about carseats? And why would parents ask the ped about carseats? I'm just confused. Medical drs are trained in artificial methods of curing disease and injury. I would never have asked my ped about BFing or carseats or alot of other things. If I wanted help with carseats I went to the local expensive baby boutique where the employees catch you at the door to direct you and they have alot of info about their products. Now I just go ask the techs. If I want to know about other stuff I call the appropriate person, IBCLC, Chiro, consult a book, whatever. I would never ask a ped anything that didn't have to do with sickness. Am I just rare? I thought that was normal, my friends do the same thing. Does mainstream America just think the pedi is a one stop for everything one needs to know from birth-18?

I think I love you. Most people I know DO take a ped's (or any doctor's) word as gospel.

 

[Starlight]

My older sons ped, at his 4 yr check up, said "he's 38 lbs. Now, that doesn't mean he can go in a booster. He is too young to be in a booster. He has to be 40 lbs AND 4 years to be in a booster. What seat is he in now?"

Unfortunately, when he was 2.5, he weighed 38 lbs, and our local CPST recommended a booster for him.

So he's been using a booster (for occasional vehicles) since 2.5.

But I liked the peds attitude when it came to the carseat.

I disliked her attitude in response to other things. No co-sleeping, must vax, etc. If you don't, goodbye.

 

[thepeach80]

While I definitely think it's a DR's job to ask parents about carseats etc, they are doing their patients a disservice by not referring them on to the appropriate people and reccomending the safest things. We've had our DR since AJ was 6 mos old and she's asked about carseats once, that was at Evan's 18 mos appt. She asked if he was riding in a ffing seat and when I said no, she looked at me all crazy! lol I explained he was still rfing and would be till he outgrew the seat that way. I even told her I was certified. She said 'well, if you guys are o.k. w/ that'. I'm hoping she's looked into it since then since she just had her 5th baby...

 

[southpawboston]

IMO -- they should simply ask what kind of seat the child is using & refer parents to local CPSTs ... or employ us!

i totally agree... i think i even suggested this in another thread some time ago! why make doctors learn an entirely different field of expertise, when they already have to know a lot and keep up with constantly changing medical literature and drug development?

i totally think they should refer the patient to a CPST, and even develop a relationship with one or more who make regular visits to the dr's office.

but i disagree with this whole idea that doctors should be omniknowledgable... knowing the medical field is hard enough.

 

[Starlight]

i'm hoping to get in w/ my ped to pass out one of the usaa carseat handbooks w/ my card at specific well baby's...

we'll see.

 

[southpawboston]

Statistically speaking too many are recommending formula at 6m, crying it out, seperate rooms, forward facing at 1yr. These have all been proven to be harmful/dangerous but they don't know or keep up.

not to take this O/T, but we let our DD CIO, not because of our ped but because that's what ended up working for us after exaustive attempts at other methods (it worked like a charm, in fact, and she became the happiest baby on the block (heh) since that was the first time she got proper sleep). i can totally see your points as they pertain to FFing @ 1 yr and formula at 6 months, but where has it been proven that putting our DD in a separate room (or CIO) has harmed her in any way? i thought those were parenting styles, and whatever works best for a particular parent and child is what works.

 

[littleangelfire]

I agree it's too much to ask to expect our peds to be jack of all trades, knowing everything about anything having to do with our kids. Unfortunately, that's what they're expected to do every day by many parents who don't take the initiative or don't know where else to go to get info. I also agree many peds are still totally old school and giving parents iffy info advising them to allow their little babies to 'cry it out' and 'soothe themselves' and never ever to let a baby sleep in their bed. I haven't met a ped yet who said to stop breastfeeding and go on formula, shame on that one!! But that's why I felt it was so important to go to a ped who I know shared many of my views and would support me in decisions about my child, as long as I wasn't hurting him, of course! My ped knew I intended to bf as long as possible (it didn't work out that way, hormones suck and they dried me up boohoo ) and he encouraged me and gave me tips on how to be successful with it, he wasn't nearly as helpful as the lactation consultant at my ob/gyn's office, but he was helpful when I needed to know if the meds I was taking would affect my son. He knows my son shares my bed most of the time, and supports me in that, and he's never told me to let him cry it out, he's a firm believer, like I am, that in most milestones of life, kids will do them most willingly when they're really ready and not pushed ahead of time, including weaning from the breast, sleeping in their own bed, weaning off the bottle, going to sleep on their own, potty training, blah blah blah. It's not that I'm extolling his virtues (well, I am, I LOVE him, and I DO often go to him with anything having to do with my son b/c I respect his wisdom and his opinion) but more that it's important to have ped who agrees with and supports you, though that can be exerting to find. I got lucky since he's gone to church with us since I was a young child so I know him and his family well and I was seen in his practice as a baby. Word of mouth is one of the best ways to find one that's like your ideas.

As far as having experts on hand, his office does direct to the CPST's at our Children's Mercy Hospital, as far as specific seats are concerned. General questions he can answer, though. I see what everyone is saying, though, and it's unfortunate so many peds feel the push to know everything and don't delegate to specialists. But then, I'm not a tech, but I'd feel confident (now anyways, not a few weeks ago!) advising someone on car seats, and have been ever since I was directed to this site and learned all the common mistakes and the best ways to keep 'em safe. I've also helped some of my friends during their breastfeeding times b/c I researched that so much, too, and I'm not a lactation consultant.

So many things I want to be...lol...lactation consultant, CPST.

 

[griffinmom]

My BIL is a ped. He knows kids should be in carseats/boosters until 8-10.
He believes in extended RF. He also knows he is not a CPS tech. He refers people to techs to get the correct advice. He knows enough to know he shouldn't give specific advice. He leaves that to techs and he trusts me not to try to diagnose strep.

Like it or not, parents look to peds for advice. Although many parents think peds know all wrt to kids, they don't. Peds, like any other profession, should acknowledge the limits of their expertise.

"Western medicine." Whatever.

 

[littleangelfire]

but where has it been proven that putting our DD in a separate room (or CIO) has harmed her in any way? i thought those were parenting styles, and whatever works best for a particular parent and child is what works.

Well, yes, and no. The fact: babies cry to communicate to us. Fact 2: when their cry is ignored, no matter what we grownups think the cause is, it is not 'teaching' them to soothe themselves, all it teaches them is that for some reason they don't undrstand they're needs are being ignored for the moment. Repeated lack of responsiveness to babies' cries damages their security and mental health, and while some children may appear to rebound, there can be side effects that won't show up for years. To put it this way, even lots of adults need help going to sleep, why wouldn't a baby? The prevalence of the cry it out method in the previous couple of generations may very well be in part to blame for the large population of insecure adults we now have who then go looking for that security elsewhere. The mothering.com link gives a good explanation for the where/when/how the cry it out method got started. Crying it out, though popular still b/c it allows us parents to go about the many things we need to get done has no root in actually being good for the baby...it was created out of the parents needs, not the child's. Babies don't need to learn to soothe themselves, it comes with time and maturity. when babies eventually stop crying, it is not because they have learned to go to sleep, but b/c they have given up b/c no one is coming to respond to their needs. I've listed some links in case you're interested, and if you're not that's cool, too. The reason I believe the other member stated it as a engative thing is b/c professional minds are now realizing that it is harmful to babies, whereas they didn't use to think so. It's always been a solution to in the best interests of parents getting sleep, not of babies getting what they needed. Even Dr. Ferber, the 'father' of the method has abandoned his ideas on the subject and done a 180. And research is suggesting that leaving a baby to cry it out can actually cause brain damage. I have lots of sleepless nights with a preemie who nursed every half hour for 4 months! But I tried (and still try!) to remember that one day I won't get to hold him anymore, and I will miss those nights holding him. I've never heard a parents say they were sorry they held their child to sleep, but I have heard many a parent regret letting their child scream themselves to sleep. But, I realize it could be a very heated issue, so unless asked a question, I promise I won't respond again on the issue. I've shared my opinion, and respect that others may disagree.
http://www.theregister.com/2006/07/14/the_odd_body_crying/
http://www.babycenter.com/expert/2644.html
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp
http://www.askdrsears.com/faq/az38.asp
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/t051200.asp#T051205
http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/bonding/connection.html
http://www.babycenter.com/dilemma/toddler/toddlersleep/1243795.html
http://www.awareparenting.com/comfort.htm
http://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/crying.html
http://www.primalspirit.com/pr2_1solter_tears.htm

 

[Starlight]

Hey, this is still a carseat forum, right?

Just checking.

 

[cryswilkins]

Back on topic, at my last visit with Zoe I asked out pedi if she had any numbers to CPST's in our area. I asked if the health dept did seat checks and she told me to go to a local fire station or see if they will seat check me at BRU :doh: I was shocked but left it at that.

 

[Judi]

Today I had a customer at work that had a 24lb baby, over a year. I told her that RFing is better and why. She said her Ped told her to FF, and she did, and will continue to.

 

[littleangelfire]

I've taken to answering car seat questions on yahoo.com (I know I've seen at least one of you in the responses, too! )and I was appalled to read these parents talking about how they got 'the green light' from their ped to turn their big babies around before 12 months. I have a large child, hit 20lbs before he hit 7 months, and was very tall too (I'm a bad mommy I don't remember how tall) he's always been in 95th % for both height and weight, and though I wish I had known enough to keep him rear facing until he was 30lbs (the limit of his Triumph he had), I didn't dream of turning him around. People just don't think! And I realize it's very likely some of them are lying about their ped saying that b/c their rationalizing it to make it sound like they didn't something dangerous to their child, but still...
here's the question:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AsQH1Nk.6oQgk_IEIhMRilsjzKIX?qid=20070425191712AAfeXjI

 

[scatterbunny]

I answered Yahoo questions for awhile but the level of misinformation and plain ignorance there is SCARY and it just got to me. I can't go back.

 

[littleangelfire]

I hear ya. It's amazing how such a large portion of world population can be so clueless about so many things! I mostly answer parenting questions, cuz that's my passion since becoming a momma, and it just amazes me the beliefs that exist about what's good for safety. Makes me feel like I can't do any good at all, but, for the fun of it, I answer anyways. ;D

 

[Judi]

Ack! I can't believe some of the ansers! Well, if they don't fit, FF them. I did at 10 months! Oh my gosh!!

 

[ThreeBeans]

Southpaw, there's quite a bit of information out there showing that CIO is harmful to a baby. I don't want to derail the thread, but if you're curious feel free to PM me

 

[scatterbunny]

I have to say, I used CIO to a point with Hayley, and I do wonder now if doing that contributed to her high sensitivity and demanding nature. Of course, just like I can't say vaccines for-sure played a role, I can't say for-sure CIO played a role, but looking back on the parenting choices I made without adequate research, just doing what I thought I "should" do according to older relatives and doctors, I have to wonder.

 

[Knittingfor4]

Well, I wasn't going to say more, but since you said that scatterbunny: I AP'd all mine to the max, maybe overboard. Bfing on demand, babywearing, cosleeping, responding to everything. And no vax, no circ, no artificial ingredients. Yet my oldest has ADHD and ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). And although my second nursed for 7 more months than the first, I wonder about his IQ sometimes. Moms should do a better job of not beating ourselves up too much. We all make mistakes/questionable choices. Sometimes the culprit is never identified