Is this really so wrong to put a 12 year old up front?

[Mommypooh]

Here is the issue. I am helping out a single mom by picking up her 12 year old from Middle school and her 9 year old from elementary school. I already bought a new seat and it still is not really working for me to have to fit all 5 in the back. Here is the way the seats are currently:
Middle Row FF BV, RF BV
Back row: 9 year old in seat belt, GN, 12 year old in seat belt.

The girls really don't fit well on either side of the GN. I can't put one of my BVs back there cause I still have to buckle my child in that on and it is just too hard.

I want to seat them like this
Middle row 9 year old, RF BV
Back row: GN, empty, FF BV
Front 12 year old.

I can reach my FF BV child when he is on the end but not when in middle.

I pick up the 12 year old at 2:30pm everyday and she is with me until 4:15. I pick up my daughter at 3:45, and the 9 year old I pick up at 4:00, then I take them either to my house or theirs depending on the day.

I was thinking the 12 year old could ride in the back until I pick up the 9 year old and then she could move to the front for 15 min's. She fits just fine up there.

What are all your thoughts?

 

[carseatcoach]

A 12yo in the front seat is not the end of the world, but I would not do it just because buckling is "too hard". How about moving a narrower seat back there and teaching the 12yo to buckle it?

 

[Mommypooh]

well that doesn't help me the rest of the day and on the weekends. She is only with me for an hour and a half every day. I still have the rest of the day to deal with it, and it is just not working for me.

 

[Maedze]

What are you driving that you can't reach your three year old to buckle

I buckle my three year old in the center of the third row in her BV every day


I agree, I would not place a child in the front seat for the reason you've given.

 

[mommyto4kiddos]

I have to have one of my children in the front every time I have them all. But, I think it would be best to have them all in the back like the first example, even if it's a little squishy getting them back there.


Is the middle of the back only a lap belt?

 

[Mommypooh]

Yeah it is a lap belt only in the middle of the back row. Well the issue also comes into that the girls are not wearing their seat belts because they are too hard to buckle. I am not a small person and it is not easy to be reaching around and trying to buckle my 4 year old in teh middle of the back. That is why I got the GN so my 6 year old could stay back there and she can buckle herself. I have a very hard time geting up into the van to buckle my 4 year old in the middle when he is outboard I can still reach him just standing there. He is also very much a needy child and that is just making it harder cause then he is alone back there all the time and that causes him to start fighting with eveyrone cause he is being left out when it is just the 3 kids in teh cars.

I don't know. I have a week to figure something out before I begin to pick them up again since we are on spring break.

 

[BookMama]

How big is the 12YO, build-wise? How close to 13 is she? (Not that anything magical happens on her 13th birthday, of course. )

 

[Mommypooh]

She fits my front captains chair fine. I think she is about 4 or 5 months from being 13. I have had her up there when we were parked a couple of times and she passes the 5 step test.

 

[lorismurph]

As long as you can move the front seat back as far from the airbag as possible, I don't think it would be so horrible to have a 12yo up front. Yes, in an ideal world, we would all be in the back. Heck, we'd all be RF too but that doesn't always happen. As long as you are okay with it and the mother of the child is okay with it, I wouldn't have a problem.

 

[*Spoiledinmyhouseofblue*]

I have put a 12 year old up front before and had no problem. They were 5'3 and 100 pounds.

I have a van and know what a pain in the butt it is to buckle in the 3rd row. I am a heavier person too.

 

[safeinthecar]

I wouldn't base the decision solely on the 5 step test in this case. Really, I'd be looking at how close to adult size she is, in addition to passing the 5 step. The reason being my 4'8" DS passes the 5 step test in many cars (front seat even) but he is only 70# and super thin. He's nowhere near the size of an adult, he just has really long legs.

That being said, I let my oldest DD start riding in the front seat, even if she was the only passenger, at around 11 and a half. She gets very car sick, throwing up every ride car sick, and I just couldn't put her through that. She was OK when she was still in a seat, since she was up higher, but once she outgrew seats she was miserable.

ETA: She was 5'2" and about 95# at that point.

 

[Mommypooh]

Well she is a little on the heavy side not sure what her weight is but I would guess 80-90 lbs. I know she is well into puberity and has started her woman problems.

It is just right now I know I am battleing a depression not sure what has caused it, or really how to get out of it and i am just not feeling well. I think I am going to do it anyways just becuase I don't need any other issues right now. I feel like crap and have for about 3-4 weeks. I am working on it but it is a slow path out.

I will have her sit in the back when her sister is not with us and she will only get in the front when I pick up her sister. That way she is only up there for 15 min instead of over an hour. Thanks guys. I am going to go to the store now if I can get motivated and get up.

 

[Kat_Momof3]

passing the 5-step test is important... age is, too... she passes the test and is old enough to sit up front...

I'd let her in the front seat... but only when you have the 9yr old with you, too.

Aka... since you pick the 9yr old up at 4:00, and she's the last one to pick up... that's the only time the 12yr old needs to be in front... you can have her ride in back to get there... then move up front to let the 9yr old in.

I know you were planning that, anyway... but to draw a picture for everyone, I'm repeating you.

Basically, the 12yr old would only be in the front seat for a single short one-way trip.

In this situation, I'd say it makes more sense than moving a ff harnessed kid for that brief period.

But OT - does the 9yr old pass the 5-step test or use a booster?? aka... I hope the child passes, because I'm betting she needs one.

 

[Defrost]

I used to put Thomas in the front seat for our trips to Boise - 75mph highway, 90 minutes round-trip. I think he was 11-12 when I did so, and probably around 5'2" and 80-90lbs. I had to put someone up front, and the only other option was to put my only harnessed kid up there in her Marathon, untethered, which would have been a PITA as far as moving the carseat to the front every trip.

Or I could have taken the van and spent 3 times as much money on gas we couldn't afford, and been driving a 3-star vehicle instead of a 5-star, and much less reliable and more likely to leave us stranded on the side of the road.

So I didn't. Sometimes convenience and other factors trump best practice. That's why it's a parental decision. :shrug-shoulders:

Mind you, that's also why I bought a new van ASAP - because I really didn't like that decision, but it still took a couple of years.

Oh, one more thing that completely sucked about having him in the front - even at 12, he was too fidgety. He was constantly "forgetting" and having to be reminded not to lean forward to mess with the controls or worse, touch the e-brake. (I know a woman who was in a wreck because her 5-yo niece was riding in the front seat and reached down and pulled the e-brake, so I'm a bit paranoid about passengers putting their hands anywhere near my e-brake!)

 

[heyruthie]

i didn't read all the posts, but my :twocents: is that a LOT of 12 yo's are bigger than I am.

I'm 5' 0" and weigh 105# (when I'm no PG!) Many of the 12 yo's that I drive around are bigger than myself....I wouldn't have a problem putting them in the passenger seat when I was driving, if I'd tried other positions, and it worked better. If we were in a crash, *I'd* be more likely to get injured by the airbag than they would....

 

[Mommypooh]

The 9 year old is as big as her sister and she passes in my back seats. My 9 year old brother also passes in my back seats cause they are all benches and kinda shallow. The 12 year old would actually like to sit in a booster cuase it looks comfortable and has a place to rest her head. LOL.

 

[emandbri]

I would put the 12 year old up front but do make sure her mom is okay with it.

 

[Mommypooh]

Her mom is fine with it. She won't do it in her van but it is a death trap, I have a vehicle in good condition so she is fine with it. Actually the 12 year old tried to get in the front seat the first day and I made her get in the back, so it is fine for her.