3.5 year old 25lbs forward facing?

[mommalady]

Hi Everyone,
I decided to turn my DD carseat around to forward face in her EFTA and only days later we were rear ended while stopped in traffic. Everyone is fine but the car had to be towed. She is riding in our backup that I bought to get three across occasionally, a cosco highback booster but it makes me nervous because the fit is not great. Either the harness straps have to be too low or they are too high. I have to find her a better seat asap but I am so confused/overwhelmed.

I would love to know what you guys would do? Do you think she is too small to forward face at 25lbs? She is 3.5. I am not sure if I should invest in another convertible seat. I was looking at the graco nautilus because it seems a good fit for her when she sat in it at the store but it is expensive and it doesn't rear face.

What seat would you get to get the longest lifespan? I really am reluctant to get a diono because money is so tight. This is all over the place, I hope it makes sense.

 

[vangelder03]

For forward facing the harness needs to be above the shoulders.
If you need 3 across a graco nautilus is a big seat it might not fit.

 

[tiggercat]

How tall is she?

Honestly, yes I would rear face a 25lb 3.5yo if possible. I currently rearface my 3.5yo 38lb child. If not, get a FF seat that you can use correctly every time and make sure to use the top tether.

For forward facing, chose the first slot above the shoulders. It is ok if it is a fair bit above.

Sent from my iPod touch using Car-Seat.Org

 

[kmw]

Are you okay with her FF? If so, I would look at something like the Maestro. Lower cost and a decently narrow option as well.

Waiting for a tech but I *think* most are fine with FF past 3 yrs.. it's more to do with the strength of the skeleton than actual weight.. but if you aren't comfortable with her FF, there might be some options but they will need her seated height - sit her on the floor and measure bum to shoulders.

Personally, if her height allows it, I would RF her for sure.

 

[mommalady]

thanks. I measured her from bottom to shoulders at 13". I would be comfortable with her forward facing if I had not watched this video on youtube about internal decapitation. But that was an 18 month old child. I don't know if that applies for my 3.5 year old. Maybe this makes me sound silly but it seemed so weird that we were in an accident right after I made this decision to turn her forward. I thought about it for a long time and finally just did it. Partly because my friend has her 17 month old forward facing and my daughter was asking why he gets to ride forward when she is much older than he is. peer pressure is a lame excuse. But I will say having her facing front is so much easier for me. I can hear what she is saying to me better for one thing.

 

[Kel]

If she's small in height also, and money is your only concern with buying a refacing seat, you could get a sure ride. There usually a good price. From 79-99 dollars. She could RF then FF long time it. Target sells purple!!

 

[Kel]

Oops...cross posted.

 

[mommalady]

Kel, Thanks I thought about that seat but I haven't heard much about it. I saw it at target today for $85. I had her in an older model EFTA before the crash and I really like that seat with the harness infinity adjuster. The car insurance says they will reimburse for a comparable seat in price so I could spend around $130, I think. Of course, that could take a long time and we are really short on money now so I would have to charge whatever I buy.


Does anyone know if I need to replace the seat my son was in? It was a graco turbobooster. I thought maybe I wouldn't have to since it is a belt positioning seat but I am not sure. The car had to be towed the damage was too great and I couldn't open the back doors.

 

[joolsplus3]

Yes, the booster needs to be replaced, too.
The Sure Ride is really nice and only about $100 at Target ($119 at BRU), it won't 'feel' as solid as the Triumph did, but it's still super safe and comfy RF and FF. If your son is over 6-7 and not a big car sleeper, you can get a very inexpensive backless booster like the Harmony Cruz for 17$ or Evenflo Amp for $25. If he still needs the support of a high back for sleeping, most Turbos tend to run about $40

 

[Brigala]

Honestly, we do not really know what the safety difference is between RF and FF at age three. We kind of know it's HUGE for kids under two, and not so huge for kids over 6. In between, we can only make educated guesses.

Personally, I want to try to keep my daughter rear-facing until she's 4 or 5. She is quite a lot bigger than your daughter (she's 33 months, 38 lbs, 38" tall) so I'm not sure I'll be able to do it. I feel that the dramatic changes in spinal strength that happen somewhere around age 5-ish, give or take about a year, are the biggest determining factor in what makes kids safer forward-facing when they're older than they were when they were younger.

But all of this is a very personal decision. I don't have any proof that your 3.5 year old is 5 times safer rear-facing. I suspect a 3.5 year old is not significantly safer FF than a 2.5 or maybe even a 1.5 year old, but I don't know.

I believe that the reason two years old is generally heralded as the benchmark for how long children should rear-face is there to avoid either having big 2.5 year olds riding around in outgrown RF seats or making people feel bad about not having the finances to afford ERF seats. Almost all children can RF to age two in almost all convertible car seats, even the $39 Walmart one. But again, that's just an educated guess. Neither the AAP nor SafeKids USA have come out with a clear statement explaining their reasoning for why they use 2 years old as a key turning point. It's worth noting that NHTSA's turning point is not two, but four years old. Their recommendation is that children in the 1 through 3 age group (that is, up until the 4th birthday when they enter the "next" age group) should remain rear-facing until they no longer fit within the height or weight limits of their car seat.

Now... what do you do with that information? You make your own choice. Nobody here would tell you that you're being a bad parent for forward-facing a 3.5 year old. Many of us (not me, but many long-time members and even techs) would be perfectly fine with forward facing a 3.5 year old for no other reason than they "feel ready." I can't tell you what to decide. I can only tell you what I would do if I had the luxury of a 25 lb 3.5 year old. LOL. But if you prefer to stick with forward facing, I wouldn't try to talk you out of it like I would if your child were under two. Totally your choice.

Now, I will tell you that the EFTA has been discontinued and replaced with the EFT65, and that costs about $150 at Walmart.com. So I would say if you stay in the $150 range insurance should pay for just about any seat you want. If you choose to go with the Nautilus, that should be covered. Or you could get another Triumph, or you could get, say, a Safety 1st Complete air 70 (which your child may not be tall enough to FF in by the way, so keep that in mind; it requires 34" tall for FF).

 

[mommalady]

thanks brigala, I did not know that about the NHTSA rec being four. That did it for me right there. I hope she doesn't put up too much fuss about it. I saw this one on sale. the 'my ride 65' for $119. I wonder if it is hard to climb into.

http://www.target.com/p/graco-my-ride-65-carseat-sonta/-/A-13932458#prodSlot=medium_1_16

and I wonder if I would have more luck puzzling in three across when I have to with that narrow base.

 

[Kel]

I LOVED our my rides. One of my top favorites seats I've used. I used it for puzzling many times.

 

[Carrie_R]

The MyRide has a narrow base but it is not terribly easy to climb into. I love mine. It is only a so-so foward-facing seat, though, because it installs very reclined, so if you are anticipating turning FF in the near future, that's something to consider. If you liked your Triumph Advance, I would probably go with a Triumph65.

Brigala gave a great explanation, and I am in agreement with pretty much all of it! I did want to expound on a few points. The reason we want younger kids to rear-face is that their spines have not ossified - that is, the bones have not hardened and joined together. This allows the spinal column to stretch more than the spinal cord, which leads to the internal decapitation you were referring to. That ossification begins at age one, hence the old recommendation of turning at a year. But it completes somewhere between 4 & 6 (or 3 & 6 - I've read both figures,) which is what we are aiming for. It is my understanding that the "age two" figure came from the fact that the only domestic study we have studied kids from ages 12-23 months. There is no study here that proves RF is safer beyond age two - that doesn't mean it's not, just that there's no data on it.

Everyone is safer rear-facing, even you and I. At some point, it becomes a matter of practicality - can't drive sitting backwards, can we? LOL! Most feel comfortable turning kids at 3 or 4. There are a few on the board who are comfortable turning forward at two years. There are a few others on the board who aim past 4 years, to 5 or 6. Based on everything I have read and researched, I fall most accurately in the latter category. I consider 4 to be a minimum (unless there are no legal RF options left,) and aim for somewhere between 5 & 6. The older the child, the weaker the reason I will consider for FFing. The most recent "big kid" I turned was 5y5m, and my criteria was "when she asks to FF two days in a row." (She was all of 35lb, but tall... allll legs, too, lol.)

So if you left your DD forward-facing, I wouldn't call you a "bad parent" - not at all. But if it were mine to choose, yes, I'd keep her rear-facing. Others here would disagree. She's definitely in a grey zone as far as consensus goes.

 

[mrosehughes]

I'll weigh in from a different perspective. I had planned to keep my DS RFing to 4 (or as close to 4) as I possibly could (he's a very big kid for his age). At 3 he outgrew the seat we had in DH's car RFing (a complete air 65, so not a low height/weight seat, but he hit the 40" height limit and was super close to the 40lb weight limit) and I had to turn him there. He still had some (and probably still has a tiny bit) of growing room in the radian XTSL in my car. But as soon as he was flipped in DH's car he asked *every*single*time* we were in the car to be turned around. And I just made the parental decision to flip after the nasty winter weather was over. He wore me down.

Were she two and a half, I would definitely say it's worth the fight. And if you turn her and she is fine with it, then of course that's great. But, I probably wouldn't lose sleep over a FFing 3 1/2 year old in a seat that is properly installed/used.

 

[tesslouise]

I'm not a tech. But I have a small 3.5-year-old who is currently rear-facing in an EFTA. She's about 37 inches and 27 lbs., and her height is in her legs, so she has plenty of room to stay RFing. But I've promised to turn her when she turns 4 in August. She's already RFed longer than anyone we know IRL, and she asks me all the time when she can turn around like a big kid. So 4 is a compromise I can live with.

 

[MommaTo3inNH]

I would ff my 3.5 25lb little person

By that age the skeleton is stronger than, for example, my almost 25lb 18 month old. As long as its 5-point harness ff'ing I'd have no problem with it

 

[Baylor]

http://www.safercar.gov/parents/RightSeat.htm


Just so you can see the NHSTA recommendations for yourself.

I have been told many times it is not only about weight but development. My 4'11 Aunt should be in a booster based on her stats..

I think that you need to know all your options and then do what is best for you and works best for your family. FF a 3.5 yr old is perfectly acceptable. I would ff at that age in a properly installed, properly used seat.

 

[mommalady]

Thanks so much everyone. I have her rear facing again in our old cosco scenera. i put my almost six year old son back in a five point harness (his old EFTA) and he is not happy about it. I found out our car is a total loss and I am reluctant to buy new seats until I find a new car. We are looking at a 2010 Prius if we can get a loan for it.

Any seats recommendations for the prius.

I was wondering about the combi cocorro for my daughter but have never seen one in person. Would it be a waste of money to buy that seat at her age. 3.5 years old even though she is very tiny?

Any recs for a booster for the prius for my five year old?

I also drive around a 17 month old chunk (22lbs) who weighs about as much as my three year old! He has a britax roundabout. His parents forward face him and won't be swayed by my harping on.

Should I start a different thread?

 

[creideamh]

Yeah, I'd start a new thread. The 2005-2009 (or 2004-2009, I forget) Prius is compatible with basically every seat I've ever tried, but I think the 2010 has the hard buckle stalks or something else weird about them. 3 across isn't impossible, but it isn't fun- especially with a booster. I'd keep that in mind. I also probably wouldn't buy a Coccoro for a 3.5 year old, unless she also has the height of a 1 year old.
HTH but yeah, definitely start a Prius thread with the kids' stats. There's a few people on here with the 2010 (mine are 2005 & 2006.)