16 month old hating rear facing!! HELP!!

#1babysitter

New member
I just started my new nannying job and I am rear facing the 16 month old in a Britax Marathon 70 but he hates it! He has been forward facing in his parents cars since he was 1 so he isn't used to it. I am at a loss of what to do since all the other kids I have put rear facing while they have been FF in their parents cars since 1 haven't cared. I really think it is the legroom that is bothering him because when I put him in the seat he stiffens his legs and it's like he doesn't know how to make himself comfortable. I had a Radian and would have used that but I have a another evening nannying job where I pick up two kids from daycare and so the 8 month old also uses the MA 70 so I needed a no re-thread harness so I can adjust it for her. I'm now wishing I got the Nextfit. What should I do!?!?! I really don't want to turn him forward facing. His parents don't see why rear facing is better but they haven't told me I HAVE to forward face him in my car but I'm worried that if they see how un comfortable he is RF they will tell me I need to FF him and he is their child so I can't say no but I don't feel comfortable at all driving a child that young FF. What should I do!? Should I get a Nextfit or Radian? If a Radian is it the end of the world if the harness height is a little over the 8 month old's shoulders? I know it should be right at or below so she doesn't ramp up in a crash but she's only 8 months so so has a ton of shell above her head not only 1-2 inches like an older child would have. HELP!!!!
 

#1babysitter

New member
How long has he been reacting like this? I think all kids have occasional reactions like that
Every time I put him in the seat! He screams bloody murder and will occasionally stop if I give him a toy but then he will throw the toy and start screaming again.
 

YinzerMama

New member
Personally, I think I have a slight preference for the nextfit over the radian... esp. now that they seem to be saying harness pads are optional... and they are cheap on albeebaby now.

I can't promise it will make a kid happy to rf if he is used to ff, though
 

ebp913

New member
Could you just have the Radian set up for the youngest child to use and then put the 16 month old in it? I've heard that there isn't really such a thing as the straps being too low assuming the harness passes the pinch test.
 

MommyShannon

New member
My 16 month old doesn't like being restrained period some days. No way would I forward face a 16 month old. I'd try adding a soft mirror or soft toys and hope he gets used to it. I'm not sure more legroom would make a big difference.
 

jgomez411

New member
I will be the first to admit that before I knew better, I turned DD forward facing at a year. When I finally decided to turn her back around a few months later, she threw a huge fit every time she was in the car seat. I considered turning her back ffing but for me, her increased safety while rfing outweighed the fight she threw ever time she had to go in the seat. She got over it and now she will be 3 next week, and while she rides in a Pioneer in DH's car, she rides rfing in mine still and actually asks to ride backwards. I definitely think you need to continue rfing and possibly try a different seat or just wait it out because it's just a stage more than likely!
 

1mommy

New member
Try bribing the kid with a treat? Maybe one of those snack traps with his favorite goldfish/animal cracker/Cheerios?
 

kaharris83

New member
At 18 months my oldest outgrew the MA-70 as far as comfort goes. He just couldn't fit it anymore without being uncomfortable and I ended up switching to a Radian and all was right with the world again. I love our NextFit and it gives great legroom so could be worth a try.
 

jacqui276

New member
If you do end up using a Radian, can you keep the straps positioned at the correct height for the smaller child? Otherwise, could you just rethread the harness real quick between kids? I find rethreading the harness on my Radians when RFing just as easy or easier than changing the harness height on my TFP that is a no-rethread.
 

chasitymarie08

CPS Technician
Yea my LO has gone through SEVERAL of these phases....of HATING being restrained period, much less RF....just keep faith, this too shall pass=) @barely25poundalmost2yearold....and happly rfingin in a nextfIt=)
 

#1babysitter

New member
I'm going to give it another week and see how he is doing then. It might partially be a phase but I also think it does have something to do with him not being comfortable because of being rear facing. I have a mirror and it doesn't seem to make a difference so I'm going to put my dvd player back up. I have had him screaming in my car one minute then the next as calm as anything in his mom's car where he is forward facing in the same car seat! I put him in the seat in both cars and mom was still inside so it's not about it being his mom is there. I just don't want his mom to see him over the next week in my car if he keeps screaming while RF'ing because I know she will tell me to turn him forward and then it will be to late because I can't tell her no it's her child. They are very weird about why I want him rear facing in my car and don't see it's important. The look they give me when I have told them the benefits of it is like no other. It's like they don't even care and are wondering why I'm telling them. Other parents I've worked for have never acted like that. Even if it wasn't going to make them switch their child back to rear facing they actually listened and were interested in what I was telling them. So keep your fingers crossed for me that he gets over it!
 

Brigala

Well-known member
My daughter went through a horrible car seat phase at that age.

I took a lesson from Pavlov: I stuck a piece of chocolate in her mouth every time she got into the car seat. Not so much as a bribe as conditioning/association.

I don't know whether it worked or whether she just outgrew the phase, but she did eventually stop fighting me getting into the car.

It couldn't hurt.

ETA: Ok, it wasn't *every* time she got in the car. It was often, though. Studies show that positive reinforcement works best when it's intermittent whereas negative reinforcement only works when it's consistent. So I applied intermittent positive reinforcement. I started giving her chocolate about 2/3 of the time and gradually but quickly spaced it out to be less frequent.
 

seb3244

New member
We have all seen Joel's story on YouTube. If I were you I would email the mom the link and in the email say
"I know that this video explains (shares) why I prefer rear facing and since the American Academy of Pediatrics now recommends that babies rear face until the age of two at a minimum I figure this will actually show you better than I can explain it. It is a 6 minute clip that for me is life changing.
[ame]http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8gU9zzCGA8[/ame] "

It is scary that this mother and father are 1 crash away from knowing that you were right on the extended rear facing.

I sent this video to my husband after joining this forum and was so grateful for this video. After my husband watched the video he was so glad I have kept our 17 month old rf and will until she is as close to 4 as a seat will allow.
 

Lee-B-

New member
I'm going to give it another week and see how he is doing then. It might partially be a phase but I also think it does have something to do with him not being comfortable because of being rear facing. I have a mirror and it doesn't seem to make a difference so I'm going to put my dvd player back up. I have had him screaming in my car one minute then the next as calm as anything in his mom's car where he is forward facing in the same car seat! I put him in the seat in both cars and mom was still inside so it's not about it being his mom is there. I just don't want his mom to see him over the next week in my car if he keeps screaming while RF'ing because I know she will tell me to turn him forward and then it will be to late because I can't tell her no it's her child. They are very weird about why I want him rear facing in my car and don't see it's important. The look they give me when I have told them the benefits of it is like no other. It's like they don't even care and are wondering why I'm telling them. Other parents I've worked for have never acted like that. Even if it wasn't going to make them switch their child back to rear facing they actually listened and were interested in what I was telling them. So keep your fingers crossed for me that he gets over it!
If the parent complains can you just tell them he needs to stay rear facing because that seat is shared with a 8 month old in the evening and legally you need it rear facing for that child and you can't reinstall the seat twice a day? They don't need to understand or approve of extended rear facing to see the validity of that point.
 

bubbaray

New member
I personally think as a caregiver, you need to be careful about bribing a child without the parents consent. I would not hesitate to fire a caregiver who was giving my child candy as a bribe for any reason. YMMV
 

seb3244

New member
If the parent complains can you just tell them he needs to stay rear facing because that seat is shared with a 8 month old in the evening and legally you need it rear facing for that child and you can't reinstall the seat twice a day? They don't need to understand or approve of extended rear facing to see the validity of that point.
This is a great idea!
 

Brigala

Well-known member
I personally think as a caregiver, you need to be careful about bribing a child without the parents consent. I would not hesitate to fire a caregiver who was giving my child candy as a bribe for any reason. YMMV
There's a GIANT difference between bribery and conditioning. Bribery is "if you do this then I'll do that." Conditioning just attempts to associate a good feeling with a situation. My daughter got a taste of something yummy whether she was behaving or not (it actually wasn't always chocolate - sometimes it was an applesauce pouch or a banana or a potato chip - whatever I had handy at the moment; I was trying to summarize as simply as I could). The point was to make her feel that the car seat was somewhere she wanted to be.

Now, obviously if the mom doesn't want her giving the child chocolate or other candy, that's not an option. Most parents don't mind their kids getting a chocolate chip now and then. Heck, most parents feed their kids out of a McDonald's Drive-Through several times a week. Maybe these parents care, maybe they don't. Obviously you would care. But if you had ever tried to parent my child, you might not be so quick to judge.
 

MaKoski

New member
I have a Graco Size4Me70 that our 5 month old and our 3 yr old share RF in my husbands truck. It takes less than 5 sec to switch to the right strap height for the right child and it is a super high shell. Try getting a special toy that is only for in the carseat and don't give it to him until he is strapped in. and he can have a sticker if he is pleasant till you get where you are going.
 

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