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  1. #1
    CPS Technician Anne's Avatar
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    Letting a child go FF when they still fit RF

    What age will you let your child have a say in turning FF if they still fit RF?


    I've always said I'd let DD have a say at age 4. She's 3.5 and really, really wants to go FF. It's our fault. We let her go FF the other night to see lights. She had a meltdown when I turned it back RF. Not like a tantrum, fit type meltdown, like a totally devastated, no words, just tears and falling apart kind of meltdown. She says she likes to be able to see all the lights. Not christmas lights, street lights and lights of businesses and such after dark. My car is really low so she truly can't see much rf and she hasn't ridden FF in the daylight, so that's all she knows. She also said she likes that she "can see mommy and daddy the whole time". We've been having a lot of issues with back pain rf lately, but we found a temporary fix for that and she hasn't been complaining as much. But one of the first things she said when I buckled her in FF was "my back doesn't hurt!"

    So....we're seriously considering letting her go FF. But I'm having a really hard time going for it. Since she still fits rf I wasn't preparing myself for this change just yet. I knew with her stats we'd make it to 4, so that's what I'd been preparing myself for.

    She's right at 3y6m, last measurements were 38.5" and 30.6lbs. Riding in a TFP, TF, and MR. Those stats are about a month old, I can check her today.

    Would you let her go FF?
    DD - 6/12/08 - FF in a Plum RXT
    DD - 7/13/12 - RF in a Cherry Pie CCO

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  3. #2
    CPS Technician hrice's Avatar
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    Re: Letting a child go FF when they still fit RF

    I just turned my 3.5yo to make my 3 across easier in my Civic. See if it passes. If she continuues to protest I would just go ahead and turn her and pat yourself on the back for a job well done.
    Heather, proud mommy to:
    Dustin 12y & 105 lbs 5-stepped/Seatbelt only
    Colton 6y & 43lb FF RXT/Pinnacle/FR90
    Peyton 5y & 38lb FF in Sureride/FR90/FR85

  4. #3
    CPS Technician leighi123's Avatar
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    Re: Letting a child go FF when they still fit RF

    I'm not going to let Levi ride FF until he doesn't fit RF. And he is 4, 4.5 in January. At his size, it will be a while, he still has quite a bit of room left.

    What about getting some kind of mirror she can use to look around more? Levi has a small soft one that he can use to see me/out windows etc. He used it for a few days but now doesn't ask for it at all.
    Mama to my awesome environmentalist kid Levi! (google him if you'd like!)
    7-13-07, 55", 62lbs
    Rearfaced to 8yrs, 9months (is now 10) Still boostered!
    CPST as of 6/19/08!

  5. #4
    Carseat Crazy cmcki737's Avatar
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    3.5 is awesome to have kept your child RF'ing. I would say if it is really that serious a thing for her and she won't drop it I would leave he FF'ing but remember kids are flippy she might go back RF'ing w/o a fight.

  6. #5
    Ambassador jess71903's Avatar
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    Re: Letting a child go FF when they still fit RF

    Three is my RF minimum. Anything after that is gravy. Gage turned on his 3rd birthday because DH remembered me answering "when can we turn him" with "three" when he asked back when he was a year old. I wasn't going to fight it.

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  7. #6
    Car-Seat.org Ambassador Patriot201's Avatar
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    Re: Letting a child go FF when they still fit RF

    I would be okay FFing a 3.5-year-old, but I can definitely see the argument for keeping her RF if she still fits. I guess I would say, "Don't beat yourself up no matter what you decide."


    “Nearly all the best things that came to me in life have been unexpected, unplanned by me.” ~Carl Sandburg
    Learning to cope with the unexpected...

  8. #7
    CPST Instructor EmmaCPST's Avatar
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    Re: Letting a child go FF when they still fit RF

    My 3y4m old rides RF in my car, but went FF at 3 in all our other vehicles - my mom's car, and DH's car and truck that are all small cars and a pain to RF in. He rides in DH or my mom's car 2-3 times per week so I don't stress about it. I got a Wayfair Frontier for him, I'm definitely keeping him RF through the winter but we'll probably move to the Frontier this spring-summer ish.
    Emma
    CPST-I & Colorado Mama to 5 year old Sam & 1 year old Grace, riding in a Frontier and a Coccoro.

  9. #8
    Senior Community Member jeminijad's Avatar
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    Re: Letting a child go FF when they still fit RF

    Yes I would turn her.

    She made it to 3.5 when most kids turn FF at 1.

    The benefit at this point is small.
    R, 2/09 * various boosters
    C, 5/11 * FF in Radians
    O, 12/14 * RF in Radians

    "A little learning is a dangerous thing." - Alexander Pope

  10. #9
    CPS Technician
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    Re: Letting a child go FF when they still fit RF

    We're in the middle of the same debate right now...

    I really wanted DS2, 3 y 7 mo to ride RF'ing in my van through the winter (he's FF in DH's car, but rides in that maybe 1x/mo these days)...so far he's not complained about continuing to RF after being FF, except for telling me he didn't want his seat turned back around each time I got ready to put it RF again.

    However, Santa is bringing a Cowmoo Frontier 85...so I'm pretty sure he will be very adament about using that in the van as soon as we have it, so I'm trying to prepare myself for the reality that he might fight going into the Radian when the weather is really bad (so far we've had no snow and no ice, so I'm OK with him using the FR85 until we get snow/ice) and we might be done RF'ing.

  11. #10
    CPS Technician Pixels's Avatar
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    Re: Letting a child go FF when they still fit RF

    Based on the back pain and her reaction when you turned her back RFing, and her age, I would turn her FFing.
    Melissa, CPST and Mom to three

  12. #11
    Senior Community Member KaysKidz's Avatar
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    Re: Letting a child go FF when they still fit RF

    DS is 4.5yrs old and would techically fit rf'ing for probably 2yrs or more, at least in the Radian. But he is FF at 30lbs and has been for sometime. He's also been 27-30lbs for the last 2yrs. At this rate, he'll be 7 before he's 40lbs where his twin brother is already 40lbs. I'm not so worried about weight as I am physical development. He is just as physically developed as his twin, just in a smaller package.
    Kay... Former CPST, Working Mom to SIX!
    27, 26, 20, 9, 9 and 7!
    'Grammy' to Sophia, Kyra,...and Elijah James

  13. #12
    CPS Technician jenfrogmom's Avatar
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    Re: Letting a child go FF when they still fit RF

    I would ff her. Good job keeping her rfing this long mama!!
    Jeni- CPST and Mom to: Parker 6 Diono Mont. and Combi Hbb, Myles 3 Foonf and RXT. Day care provider to J, A, Z, Radians x 3!

  14. #13
    CPS Fanatic
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    Re: Letting a child go FF when they still fit RF

    I'd love for all the kids in my car to rf until at least 5. That hasn't happened due to what seats I have and how much the babysitting kids weigh. However, if I had a 3.5 year old and a seat she fit in rf I would keep her rf. I might try a different seat and a mirror so she can see more and see you and her dad.

  15. #14
    Senior Community Member momtoo3's Avatar
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    Re: Letting a child go FF when they still fit RF

    DS3 is a couple of months younger (sept 08) and I just turned him FF in my van a couple of weeks ago. He has been FF in dh's car since 2 because I couldn't make a 3 across work RF. Ds3 was having leg pains and only wanted to ride in dh's car because he was FF in there. The meltdowns were unreal over it. I caved and turned him. He is happy to get in my van now, which helps me feel less guilty. He could probably make it through the winter in his MA70 RF but I am at peace, I think, with him FF. The downside, now he can see the radio buttons and yells at me when I change a song he likes and I can't lie about it being over because he demands I push the right button .
    I would see if she is still upset in a week and if so turn her FF.

    Stephanie, mom to Austin 17 yrs, 135 lbs, 67 in, seat belt
    Tyler 12 yrs, 95 llbs, 60 in, seat belt

    Dominick 8.5 yrs, 52 lbs, 50 in, in a Performance Booster, Amp and HiRise
    And Emily, 8-9-14, 2.5 yrs 30 lbs, 35 in, ERF in a CA65, Grow & Go and MA70

  16. #15
    CPS Technician cookie123's Avatar
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    Re: Letting a child go FF when they still fit RF

    I had a hard time letting Matthew go ff at 3.5 when he outgrew the rf Radian. It's probably harder if the seat is not outgrown. Based on the back pain, I'd maybe try using the seat rf that has no back pain first, if there is one. If not, just ff!
    PEG - Gramma to:
    Hannah - 16 - Seatbelt! Reya - 1.5 4Ever/BLVD/Peg
    Brett - 15 - Seatbelt Nolan - 2.5 - 4Ever/Fllo
    Matt- 11 - Seatbelt Baby Boy due 1/17/19 Pipa
    Griffin - 6 - Parkway SG

  17. #16
    CPS Technician Anne's Avatar
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    Re: Letting a child go FF when they still fit RF

    Thank you all, your responses help. I've been trying not to beat myself up for even considering letting her ff when she still fits rf. She actually didn't put up a fight getting in today, but we were on our way to my mom's, so she was excited and cooperative. So maybe we'll be able to ride this out. But if she keeps saying something about it, or complains again about her back then I'm thinking our rf days are over.
    DD - 6/12/08 - FF in a Plum RXT
    DD - 7/13/12 - RF in a Cherry Pie CCO

  18. #17
    CPS Technician bobandjess99's Avatar
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    Re: Letting a child go FF when they still fit RF

    i just beat myself up over the same thing. I have a *tiny* kid. He turns 4 next week, and has maybe 2 years? left in his CA. but....He rully rully wants to. He loves it.

    Alex, 8 Katie, 12 and Annabelle Jan 2017

  19. #18
    CPS Fanatic
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    Re: Letting a child go FF when they still fit RF

    Quote Originally Posted by Anne View Post
    Thank you all, your responses help. I've been trying not to beat myself up for even considering letting her ff when she still fits rf. She actually didn't put up a fight getting in today, but we were on our way to my mom's, so she was excited and cooperative. So maybe we'll be able to ride this out. But if she keeps saying something about it, or complains again about her back then I'm thinking our rf days are over.
    I wouldn't beat yourself up if you decide to turn her. I would however, pick a time when you are ok turning her, tell her that time, and maybe have a count down with her. Otherwise, she might think that she got her way by complaining. Even if she did (which is ok if you're ok with it) you might have a lot more complaining in the future if she sees it that way!

  20. #19
    CPS Technician tam_shops's Avatar
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    Re: Letting a child go FF when they still fit RF

    I'd wait a week or two and see what happens and then decide, in the hopes that she's forget all about it and find something she enjoys about FF.

    I also don't just approach RF/FF w/ the obvious safety aspect, but the fact that my guy kicks my seat when FF, walks on stuff on the floor, has a harder time playing w/ his brother who is still RF and in turn wants to talk to me while I'm driving (fine sometimes, not so much others and he's still learning the difference...)

    And, of course 3.5yo is a great accomplishment for ERF and nothing to beat yourself up about!

    tam

  21. #20
    CPS Technician Holly's Avatar
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    I'm comfortable with that. 3 is what I aim for. Josh will be FF in Feb when he turns 3. A 3 year old in a properly installed, top tethered, harnessed seat is very safe! You've gone way above and beyond what most parents do.
    Mom to:
    Hannah 11 Graco Connext, Abby 10 Graco Connext, Josh 7 Recaro Performance Booster, and Zach 2 1/2 Sunshine Kids Radian 80.

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