Willful carseat safety ignorance, so frustrating!

I do the newsletter for DD's preschool class and I found a really good carseat safety flyer to hand out. Funny thing was that my friend saw it and was like "oh what a great idea, I've seen (insert various car seat issues of other Mom's here) so maybe this will help keep more of the kids safe". I really wanted to say "yeah, and yours is one of them, that old Alpha Omega car seat you are using as a booster for your DS is so reclined and unsafe he's just going to submarine right out of it in a crash, he can't sit still for more than 2 seconds and is always leaning out of the shoulder belt, putting it under his arm and the lep belt is always up over his stomach". Not to mention that seat was rated as a "Don't Buy" on the booster seat safety test. According to her the car seat manual says her DS is big enough to use it as a booster, so that's good enough for her. I bit my tongue because I have talked to her about it before and showed her DD's new booster and how well it fits her, citing the importance of the seat belt fit without pointing fingers. She just looked at it and all she said was "Well...ok, I wouldn't put DS in a booster that wasn't attached to the car, that seems really unsafe". GHAAAA! Fine, not my kid...I can only make sure he's safe when riding with us and that I install DD's seat in her car any time she takes her. I always use our harness seat when she travels with them because with her BFF in the car she won't sit still and correctly in a booster, even though she does great in a car by herself.

I always volunteer to drive when we go places and use our extra harness seat for DD and let her BFF ride in the Frontier (he's a lot bigger) because I just can't sit still and know her DS is squirming around in his booster without saying anything. It just makes no sense how someone very educated and intelligent can so wilfully ignore good safety advice. I mean, yes DD is safer right now in a harness seat, but at least when I have her riding in a booster it's a SAFE booster and I made sure she was able to sit correctly and it was a good safe fit before I let her use it.

how old is her child?

I would not let anyone drive my child if they were not good about car safety. I would not trust them to make sure they harness correctly.. no twisted straps, make sure well clipped. I just would not trust someone you say is so bad with making sure her own child is correctly and safely secured.

He turned 4 in May and is a pretty big kid, and if she had a safe booster and he was more mature about sitting still I wouldn't worry.

We do a lot of watching each others kids and picking them up from pre-school so having DD ride with her is unavoidable. I just make sure I install her Britax Marathon in their car in the morning at drop off. The straps are set so she can buckle her in without having to adjust (DD knows to suck it in a little when I buckle). I won't let her transport though without me putting our car seat in. She has dropped us off at the airport a few times and is a safe driver, I don't worry about that. Next year they won't be in the same school (which is a bummer) so transport won't really be an issue.

Suck in? That sounds pretty tight.. The tightness should be in the shoulder not the gut.. It is okay to have room in the straps in the gut as long as there is nothing to pinch at shoulders..

When I say "suck in" I mean so it's easier for me to get my fingers around the buckle to do it up (so my fingers are between her and the buckle). Once she's buckled up and I move my hand, it's not that tight. She's never complained.

Scary. So she is using the AO latched and/or tethered? Someone please correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think that is allowed.

No tether, but I do think it's latched (I haven't actually checked). It's one of those cases where I've done everything I can short of being as blunt as the above post with her. I could do that, but I know it would effectively end our friendship and wouldn't change anything aside from making it impossible to work with her at school and our kids would be the ones to suffer if we didn't have playdates. She thinks her DS is safe as can be and thinks I'm crazy for letting DD ride in her Compass booster...which makes the option of buying her a booster under the guise of "oh, it was on sale at Target and I thought you might be able to use a new seat" not an option either.

We went to the zoo together yesterday and I drove, with her DS in the Frontier and DD in her Marathon. I don't trust DD to stay put in a booster with her friends in the car, and I KNOW he won't sit correctly so better to leave it home. If I had more than one child I wouldn't even bother with a booster yet, but alone she is very good in it. So for now, we will use it for visiting Grandma and to leave with her sitter just in case.

Friday morning I saw another of the Moms in class drive up with her DD in a no back booster, and she is smaller than my 38lb DD by quiet a bit. On the other hand, I noticed another Mom who previously had her DS in a different seat before (don't know what it was) was sporting a brand new Nautilus...so maybe someone paid attention.

DD is about to outgrow her Marathon by height so I think I may be getting a Maestro to fill the gap until she is ready for a booster even with her friends around.

I was happy to see my car seat handout posted on the message board at the preschool. At least someone paid attention! Probably someone who already has the right car seats though...