akward question, WTD about child "pushing" on crotch straps?

Hello,
OK, I know this may be an akward question and I really hope I don't offend anyone by asking it! My daugther, who is almost 7yo, has developed a habit of "pushing" on her crotch strap for "stimulation" while we are in the car. She is in a Britax Frontier. I am at a total loss about what to do about this. We have talked about it a lot and she continues to do it, which I do not think is appropriate while in the car. I really like having her harnessed, and she still has some room to grow in her seat, but want to stop this behaviour if possible in a non-confrontational way. She also sleeps in the car occasionally, so the headwings/sides of her seat come in handy. Does anyone else have experience with this and/or have any suggestions about what to do?
TIA!
Kati

I'm not sure how to stop it beyond repeating to her that it is inappropriate to do in the car. My DD (3, will be 4 in Jan) occasionally does the same thing, but it used to be constant, so I know how...not fun it can be to explain to people riding with you.

Rather than just telling her "don't," I would remind her to wait until she gets home and can go in her room in private. It's an uncomfortable topic in our society, and one we're not used to broaching with children. But it's also entirely normal for kids to, well, do anything that they find feels good. The trick is to gently teach them about privacy and what things are OK to do with others and what things should be done alone - without making them feel ashamed or dirty.

Good luck.

Yeah, this is pretty much what we have been doing, but my husband really dislikes it when she is in the car doing it. . . .so we have been being a little too forceful with the "not in the car", I think. . . I think we are just going to back off and continue to encourage her that that sort of thing is private, but not worry too much about it. She is otherwise a bright well adjusted kid, so I don't see this as any kind of a problem, just wish it wasn't constant. . .

Totally not saying this is the correct solution, it's just what I'd do. At almost 7, I'd put her in booster mode in the Frontier. The wings are still there for her to sleep. I just know that I likely would get very tired of repeating the same thing every day especially with regards to the subject matter. At 7, I'm not sure if they totally get that this feeling good can be done another way. So when you say, "that's for private in your room" she might be thinking, "uh, but my car seat isn't in my room so thanks for nothing". And not sure I want to be describing alternative ways to rub yourself to my 7 year old.

I know parents of boys deal with this all the time, but the boys are touching themselves so it's easier to say, "don't touch yourself in public, only do it in your room", but much harder to say, "don't rub on a car seat strap, only do it in your room", well what is IT ya know? Like I'm not sure they totally get exactly what is going on, just that it's feeling good. It would be easier if girls walked around grabbing their parts like little boys do, then it would be clear, "don't touch yourself in public".

So ya anyway, not saying my way is the right way, but I'd just remove the item that's presenting itself to her everyday. One night in high school we were all sharing embarrassing stuff (I'm not sharing mine. Ha ha.) and I remember one girl telling us that in grade 3 she got this "tingly feeling" when climbing the tether ball pole to when the ball got wrapped around and stuck at the top. She didn't realize that it was the rubbing on her that was causing it, she associated it with the tether ball pole, so she always volunteered to unwrap the ball if it got stuck. It's winter here a good chunk of the school year so not like you can go climb poles in -30 and she wasn't traumatized by not being able to climb the pole (ya we asked what she did in the winter ). And I don't recall seeing her rubbing on desk legs or fondling herself in public, so it's not like she moved onto another way of getting the feeling.

Made me wish I had liked tether ball in grade school. :ROTFLMAO:

Something else to consider, make sure she isn't itchy. What starts out as scratching an itch may be leading to...scratching an ITCH as it directs her attention to that area.

I'd use her Frontier in booster mode too.

It would probably be a good idea to have her examined to rule out any urinary tract infections or yeast infections though, just to be sure.

Seven is old enough to discuss that certain feelings are best explored in private.

carseatcoach said:

Seven is old enough to discuss that certain feelings are best explored in private.

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Sure, you can broach the issue, but not sure they totally get it. I mean how many parents tell their 7 year olds not to pick their noses in public, that if they need to do it, go use the bathroom and do it in private or use a tissue, yet you still catch the kid picking their nose in public?

ETA: and I'm not saying don't talk about it but it sounds like they have talked about so the parents haven't ignored the opportunity for discussion.

Mommy! said:

It would probably be a good idea to have her examined to rule out any urinary tract infections or yeast infections though, just to be sure.

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Or even a soap sensitivity. I accidentally let shampoo run down there the other day and was crazy itchy.