My husband is questioning ERF.

MirMom · Feb 12, 2011

About a week or so ago I was trying to find information about car seats for my youngest daughter. I came across this site and have been reading A LOT of stuff on ERF and decided that my older DD needed to be turned back around. She is almost 3, but only 37 or 38 inches and 26 lbs. I turned her MA65 back around and DH is not happy!

I am just so frustrated b/c he thinks that I just came here and "jumped on the bandwagon".

He is mad that her shoes will touch the back of our car. I did decide to remove her shoes b/c of that. He also says that while driving in the city that we are much more likely to be rear-ended and that if she is rear-facing during a rear-end crash, it is not has safe as forward facing. Does anyone have any advice? Any information I can give my husband to make him stop questioning the return to rearfacing? Thanks!

Rahel

On a side note, today my mom told me that she didn't "believe" that car seats expired.

hrice · Feb 12, 2011

Rear end crashes are typically at lower speeds and are far less severe than frontal and side impact crashes. Though rear enderd are more frequent they make up less than 10% of severe/fatal crashes. That means 90+ percent of crashes that kill or severly injure people are front and side, not rear.

lovinwaves · Feb 12, 2011

Whatever way is the best to approach him do so with facts, links, research studies, crash videos etc... Would an email be best? Or you talking to him in person? He's blabbing out of his mouth about the care of the seats and getting rear-ended when he clearly hasn't researched anything on his own. You know in his heart his kid's safety is way more important than a seat getting dirty. And you also know that the chance of being rear-ended is a much lower percentage than frontal or frontal offset. Also, add to that that most all rear-end accidents are at a much lower impact because usually one car is stopped and the car hitting them has time to react and slow their car down a bit. His argument is worthless unless he can prove to you the kid's should NOT be rear-facing.

This is how it works in my house. I do the research, I make a decision for what I feel is best for the kids based on my research. If DH doesn't agree then I ask him to kindly show HIS research saying this isn't best for our children. Once he does then we can discuss and maybe see his viewpoint. To this day, hubby never has, therefore I "win" in a sort of way.

Do you have cloth or leather seats? If leather, just clean the seats with a good leather cleaner whenever needed. If cloth, put a t-shirt over the back of the seat (remove the headrest if needed). Simple fix. Taking off shoes is something we did for a long time as well, especially if their shoes were extra dirty.

Good Luck!!

MirMom · Feb 12, 2011

hrice said:
Rear end crashes are typically at lower speeds and are far less severe than frontal and side impact crashes. Though rear enderd are more frequent they make up less than 10% of severe/fatal crashes. That means 90+ percent of crashes that kill or severly injure people are front and side, not rear.

Thanks for the info! :thumbsup:

lovinwaves said:
Whatever way is the best to approach him do so with facts, links, research studies, crash videos etc... Would an email be best? Or you talking to him in person. He's blabbing out of his mouth about the care of the seats and getting rear-ended when he clearly hasn't researched anything on his own. You know in his heart his kid's safety is way more important than a seat getting dirty. And you also know that the chance of being rear-ended is a much lower percentage than frontal or frontal offset. Also, add to that that most all rear-end accidents are at a much lower impact because usually one car is stopped and the car hitting them has time to react and slow their car down a bit. His argument is worthless unless he can prove to you the kid's should NOT be rear-facing.

This is how it works in my house. I do the research, I make a decision for what I feel is best for the kids based on my research. If DH doesn't agree then I ask him to kindly show HIS research saying this isn't best for our children. Once he does then we can discuss and maybe see his viewpoint. To this day, hubby never has, therefore I "win" in a sort of way.

Do you have cloth or leather seats? If leather, just clean the seats with a good leather cleaner whenever needed. If cloth, put a t-shirt over the back of the seat (remove the headrest if needed). Simple fix. Taking off shoes is something we did for a long time as well, especially if their shoes were extra dirty.

Good Luck!!

We have cloth seats. The t-shirt is a good idea.

hrice · Feb 12, 2011

I use these and they work great.

http://www.target.com/SafeFit-Kick-Mats-pk-Gray/dp/B000TVGQGC

hrice · Feb 12, 2011

These videos should help you too.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sssIsceKd6U&feature=youtube_gdata_player"]YouTube - Rear facing vs forward facing position in the car[/ame]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKIeExpDLDA&feature=youtube_gdata"]YouTube - Crash Test - Forward vs. Rear Facing[/ame]

Kat_Momof3 · Feb 13, 2011

whether being hit from the front or from behind, the physics of it means the child and car and the seat move in the same way... forward... unless both you and the other driver would be driving backwards...

rearfacing is safer no matter which side you are hit from... front, behind, or side.

this story explains what I'm talking about -http://myangelsaliandpeanut.tripod.com/id5.html

brooklynsmommy · Feb 13, 2011

Kat_Momof3 said:
whether being hit from the front or from behind, the physics of it means the child and car and the seat move in the same way... forward... unless both you and the other driver would be driving backwards...

rearfacing is safer no matter which side you are hit from... front, behind, or side.

this story explains what I'm talking about -http://myangelsaliandpeanut.tripod.com/id5.html

Chelsae!!! Oh how I miss her!!!

DaniChildcare · Feb 13, 2011

You can take what i say with a grain of salt with this one, since i'm not married, and don't have kids.

Personally, i feel a marriage is a partnership, as is parenting. (which is why i'm not married, and don't have kids, haven't found that person yet!) so your husband might be more upset at the fact that you went off and did this, without talking to him about it, and explaining the reasons. I'd imagine you would be equally upset if you came home one day, and saw he had turned your DD forward facing without talking to you about it first. (no, it's not the same thing, but in his head, it is)

Although his argument may not be valid (about the rear end collisions) HE feels it's valid, so you should take the time to at least explain it to him, and show him WHY you feel your daughter is better rear facing right now.

cryswilkins · Feb 13, 2011

I agree with the PP and ask him to do the research. If he does any at all he will see that your daughter is 5x safer riding RF. Your vehicle seats can be cleaned very easily, but an injury from FF is not so easily fixed.

Kobain's Mommy · Feb 13, 2011

Another idea is see if SafeKids in your area has a car seat class for parents. DH was on me about wanting to RF LO longer and wanting to get my CPST. I took him to the class and now he's "on the bandwagon."

MirMom · Feb 14, 2011

Well after some more conversation and actually SHOWING him some research, I think that he is agreeing more with putting her RFing. I absolutely KNOW that he has both of our daughter's best interest at heart. I think he just got caught off guard a little bit, kind of like a PP mentioned. Thanks for all the helpful insight!

By the way, my daughter is doing GREAT RFing! Hasn't complained one bit! :thumbsup:

Kat_Momof3 · Feb 14, 2011

brooklynsmommy said:
Chelsae!!! Oh how I miss her!!!

I do, too! I still follow her blog, though

hrice · Feb 14, 2011

MirMom said:
Well after some more conversation and actually SHOWING him some research, I think that he is agreeing more with putting her RFing. I absolutely KNOW that he has both of our daughter's best interest at heart. I think he just got caught off guard a little bit, kind of like a PP mentioned. Thanks for all the helpful insight!

By the way, my daughter is doing GREAT RFing! Hasn't complained one bit! :thumbsup:

That's awesome!

My husband is questioning ERF.

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