What would you tell this mom?

oxeye · Sep 22, 2010

I helped a mom with an infant seat for this mom last summer and her baby is now at most 15 months old. I just got an e-mail from her saying that she would like me to help her with the FF seat she just got for her.

I am not comfortable installing a FF seat for a 15 month old. Obviously at the car seat check points I give the parents the information and let them decide. If they want their 15 month old FF, so be it, but I really just take whoever is at my station at those things and do the best I can. It feels different to me at a private check.

So how would you handle this? I will obviously e-mail her back with my RF spiel - which she has heard me go over twice before - once in a carseat presentation when she initially met me, and again when I helped her with her infant seat. Hopefully that alone will solve the issue and she will want to turn her back RF. Odds are the seat is improperly installed, so can you in good consciousness refuse to help? I could refer her to a checkpoint instead, the next one is on Saturday so that would be easy enough.

Help!

LISmama810 · Sep 22, 2010

If you don't help her, will she go to the other check, or will her daughter ride around in an improperly installed seat?

I will (and do) do private checks for people putting their kids in things I wouldn't. (I.e., 15-month-old FF.) It's not best practice, but it's not illegal. Whether I'm at a public check or a private one, it's not my job to make parenting decisions for other people.

Obviously you have the right to tell her you're not comfortable helping her with the seat, but unless you're sure she'll go to the other check (and that she'll get competent help there), the kid might be better off with your assistance, even if it does involve a FF seat.

babyherder · Sep 22, 2010

I would start by saying how glad you are she contacted you for help. Then, remind her again that rf is safer. I would probably help her install the seat ff since her kid will be safer in a properly installed ff seat than an improperly installed ff seat. But I can see why you would be uncomfortable with that. So maybe just say something like, I'm not free until next week but there's a seat check on Saturday at ________. I think it would be better if you went to that so your seat can be looked at sooner.

Pixels · Sep 22, 2010

Private check or checkpoint, I do the same thing. Try to convince them to RF, then, as long as what they want to do isn't illegal, help them do it the safest way possible.

lorismurph · Sep 22, 2010

What I do is give them all the info, the laws, best practice, educate all I can. Then, I leave it up to them. The child obviously would be much safer if she were RF but if Mom is not willing to do that, she will leave the check and re-install the seat FF anyway. Then, she has not been taught how to use the seat FF and there is a much greater chance of misuse.
I'd personally just educate and leave it to her. I'd rather see the child in a properly used FF seat than one that is not installed or used correctly.

Maybe you'll get lucky and she's bought a Dorel seat that has a 34" minimum to be FF so she will be forced to RF longer (had a couple of those yesterday at our check).

skylinphoto · Sep 22, 2010

As long as she leaves with the kiddo safer than he was Id say youre doing good.

If she wont RF after you give her the info then just make sure the FFing seat is installed properly and tethered if possible.

Defrost · Sep 22, 2010

Depends on the situation. Twice now I've had moms that were a bit wishy-washy on it, so I made a "deal" with them that I'd show them how to install the seat both RF and FF, make sure mom was comfortable doing both, but the child would leave the check RF. That would give mom a chance to "try it out," but if she still wanted to switch later, she could.

canadiangie · Sep 22, 2010

Not too long ago I installed a ff BV for a baby who was 23 pounds, 12 mos and 1 day old. Literally it was the day after her birthday. Parents were absolutely certain they would not continue to rf her. I explained everything, it didn't matter. It was a case of me having to tell myself that a correctly installed ff seat is much safer than in incorrectly one, and that I had a duty to help.

Defrost reminded me in another post a few days ago that our job as techs is to have the child leave safER than when they arrived. Well, when I arrived the UAS clips were upsidedown, and the seat wasn't top tethered. When I left she was much safer. Everything was correct.

oxeye · Sep 22, 2010

Thanks for talking me down! You are right, it isn't my job to get every parent to follow best practice. I know this and at checkpoints obviously not every parent is agreeable to best practice and I've come to accept this. It just seems different when I'm doing it on my own and I'm not sure why!

I responded and let her know that I am happy to help her with her seat but wanted to make sure she knows that the recommendation is RFing to the limit of the convertible seat. I briefly explained why. Hopefully she'll be receptive, but if not her baby will still be safer after my help than before.

Kat_Momof3 · Sep 22, 2010

I'd respond saying you're glad she emailed you for help and you'd be happy to help her continue to keep her baby safe in the car... then... simply ask what seat... many parents buy convertible seats assuming they only forward face... when you ask, just explain it will help you be more prepared.

If she gives you a name that you recognize as a ff-only seat, then I'd be ready with pamphlets and statistics and info on seats that she can quickly drive, get, and come back with.

if she gives you the name of a convertible... you deal with the rf/ff when she gets there with a pamphlet and some info.

What would you tell this mom?

oxeye

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LISmama810

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Pixels

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skylinphoto

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Defrost

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oxeye

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