How often do friends/family listen to you?

I just joined up recently, from a CPS in the area directing me here. I have a 2.5 year old son who's 39lbs. and 39", outgrew his Triumph, and trying to find a bigger seat for him. Anyways, after she told me a few things, i started researching on my own and reading the boards here and all the links. I'm glad my son is safe but I'm sorry I turned him forward facing shortly after his 1st bday. NO ONE mentioned to me then he was safer rear facing. I never knew until this technician that he might need a harnessed seat past 40lbs. either! So, once I started learning all these things I felt a need, even an urgency, in sharing with my mom's group at church. And not a one of them were interested. They were all cool with buying used seats from people they didn't know, putting their 2-3 year olds in belt positioning boosters (because its 'easier') and ff as soon as 1yr/20lbs. Then the other day at the thrift store, I saw 2 gentlemen looking at an obviously old shield car seat, I prayed first and then I told him what I knew, that used car seats in general aren't safe, that shields are less safe, and that he could get a good car seat for as little as $40 at Walmart. He put the seat back (YAY) and said he wasn't sure what kind to get his son. I asked him how old he was and how much he weighed and he wasn't sure, so I just told him to visit Walmart, or call his police station and they'd help him out. Unfortunately 5 minutes later, I saw him pushing the basket that had his son in it. About 15 months old in a carrier! his legs and feet dangling off the end, his head way over the back. Ugh! But I felt like I couldn't butt in anymore, so I didn't. Hopefully he went straight to Walmart.

Today I went to 3 garage sales, all had OLD OLD OLD Car seats for sale. One was a Tshield from 1995! The lady at that one seemed genuinely thankful for the info and she pulled the seat out of the sale. At another sale, I told the lady all 4 of the seats she had out were expired, and she said, well, booster seats don't expire only harnessed seats. Which didn't make any sense anyways, as 2 of the seats were carriers! She seemed rather peeved at me for saying anything. I mean, I'd WANT to know if I was putting my child or anyone elses in danger. I'll keep speaking up. It's just too important. I'd like to get certified some day when I have the money. Trying to save to buy my son a Regent right now.

snowbird25ca said:

Do you think it's worth sending the links again?
how many people listen to you when you talk about keeping rf'ing?
Do you ever feel like you're wasting your breath?

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Until I had kids I had no idea how little parents knew about the carseats they were buying. Now that I have two and am doing the research I am shocked at the ignorance that is out there. There are parents who honestly tell me they didn't know carseats had expiry dates. I have also talked to mothers who honestly thought that once their child hit either 20 pounds or one year they could switch to FF not understanding or doing the research that the child has to meet both criterias.

Please continue to send the links. When it comes to a child's safety it is worth being known as a 'nag'. I am learning more every day because of websites like this and because there are people out there who will send on the links and who do become educated about this.

I don't think it is because a parent doesn't love their child that they don't buy the proper carseat. They probably feel they did their part by going into a store and buying their child a new carseat. I would put more blame on stores who sell carseats whose staff are not properly trained to sell carseast.

For what it's worth... I thought I was pretty good about carseat safety. I always looked at my automobile user book and followed the car seat user guide. I did everything they told me to do. It was not until the Kyle video that I started to see how much more I could be doing to keep my kids safe. I was thought I was golden, I followed the *law* and the guides from both the seat and the automobile. I wish that someone would have told me all the things above and beyond what the law says. I wish someone would have said that my 'every step forward in seat is a step back in safety'... I would have heard them! So I guess what I am saying is that a lot of people wont listen, it is easier to be ignorant... but the one in 20 or whatever the number is for you guys/gals KEEP IT GOING!!! Because that one person may tell another one that actually listens and so on. I know it must be frustrating to not be heard... Because I heard you and although I am not educated enough to start telling people what is best ultimately give them the website to you guys. I sure hope that some of them are lurking on here and learning how to make their kids safer. I agree with "Few people change their actions when they don't seek the advice for themselves -- this goes for pretty much everything...." well said. But keep up the good work you guys even if you get to one Parent.... you could save a life. Heck even I am wearing my seatbelt correctly now:thumbsup:

I hope to see one of you on Oprah someday... It would be great for this issue to get some attention. There are a lot of things that need to be changed and a lot that should be made mandatory... There is just too much of a grey area. :twocents:

No, they usually don't. I put the information out there and just hope it sinks in. None of our friends have kids yet but I'm brainwashing them early. Family is my biggest challenge. I run into the 'young mom' stereotype as well. I'm 20 with two kids so that makes any advice I give invalid. I'm a misunderstood breastfeeding, AP, car seat obsessed mom LOL. DH's stepsister is a few months older than me and has a 2 and 4 year old. We are polar opposites on everything. Her oldest daughter was in an infant seat until at least 18 months and then went straight to a seat belt with the shoulder part shoved behind her. Why? Because she's "big enough" and they needed it for the new baby. The youngest was in the same infant seat until 18 months and then fortunately grandma bought her a FF/booster seat. Unfortunately it's poorly installed and they won't let me touch it or get it checked out. I wanted the inlaws to buy them some seats for Christmas. I researched seats, prices, and gave them all of the info they needed. Nothing came of it. We certainly couldn't afford to buy them seats that would proabbly never get used. The other set of inlaws think I'm crazy period. They just roll their eyes because I'm breastfeeding and the same goes for any car seat info I tell them. The stories I could tell you...
But please, everyone keep fighting the good fight! I WISH someone had told me about extended rearfacing sooner. The information just isn't out there. We wanted to turn DD around at 12 months but she was only 16 lbs, 13 oz so of course we didn't. The nurse at our pediatricians office told us to go ahead and turn her! With so much bad information floating around we should try to get as much good info out there as we can. Luckily I found out about extended rearfacing (on a message board) when DD was 14 months old and still rearfacing just because she was under 20 lbs. Now she's 2 1/3, 25 lbs and still rearfacing. I'm so glad someone took the time to post about extended rearfacing.
I second the rule about no one going anywhere unless I install the car seat myself. DH broke the rule a few weeks ago and let his dad install DDs car seat FF in their car...using the wrong belt path and no top tether (their car has LATCH). DH couldn't check it because I always install the seats and he doesn't know how. He thought it was OK because he rode next to her, and his dad said he knew how because he switches his other granddaughter's seat every week . I threw a fit when I found out and let's just say that's never happening again. Sorry this was so long!

I've stopped trying. Seriously. If someone asks me about it specifically I will talk, but beyond that I'm seriously to the point where if a person doesn't want to keep their child safe, that's their decision and they have to live with the consequences of their decision.

I've posted on other boards before just making sure people are aware that 1 year/20 pounds in the bare minimum for FF. I've gotten lots of very defensive responses essentially saying that their child had to go FF because they were miserable RF, it's easier to tend to them when FF, etc. Some have said that I'm just blessed with easy-going children in the car (HA! They don't know my 3.5 year old AT ALL - that kid has a temper and an opinion about everything - but I'm the MOTHER and what I say goes) and that if they screamed constantly I would turn them FF. Others have insisted that they are sure I won't keep my kids harnessed to the limits on the seat.

My sister is great - she's the only person who has actually listened to me talk about my car seat obsession and taken it to heart. As far as I know, my niece (and any future nieces or nephews) will be RF to the limit of the seat and harnessed as long as needed. My mom has been really open to it also. She's asked before why Ellie isn't FF yet and I just said matter of factly "because it is safer". Then I started talking about how I do need to turn her soon because she is getting too heavy and how I wished we had higher RF weight limit seats. Then she was trying to convince me to buy one from Sweden and use it even though it's not "allowed" here.

So my family really is wonderful about it. Friends and online groups - I give up. It is so, so true that the only time most people are receptive to advice is when they seek it themselves. It takes a very self-confident and humble person to accept unsolicited advice.