What should i do?

seb3244

New member
Have a friend (my hubs good friends gf) and she just had a baby 1 week ago & she came by yesterday & her baby's car seat straps were super loose like I could fit 2 hands in there. And she said her head is slumping sideways. I said well when my dd was a baby (she is 20 months now) I found that if I tightened the straps then her head didn't slump as bad. So she tightened them so I could probably fit one hand in between the straps & baby.

She also has a 7 & 9 yr old that are very short. & don't 5 step. The 7 yr old is in a low back booster & the 9 yr old is in nothing.
She is a good mom I just don't think she knows better.

How can I be encouraging but still share the value of a correctly used car seat?

I was thinking if starting a convo like this
"Hey ____, I will kill myself if something happens & I didn't say anything but I wanted to let you know that after doing extensive (like an obsession) research & having a car seat tech out to my house I have got to at least let you know what I have learned.

Your NB needs tighter straps -like can only fit 2 fingers in between baby and straps

Your 9 yr old doesn't 5 step & should be in a low back booster. He also shouldn't put the belt behind his shoulder when he rides in the car.

What do you think? I mean I can't see her getting mad or anything I would just be horrified if something happened & I didn't say anything."

What do you think?
 

1mommy

New member
Yea its hard when they are your friends and you're not sure how they will take it. I had to get up the courage to talk about a friend who ff her daughter at 11 months, and she ended up being very nice about it but I don't think she turned her daughter back around because she said her dd would scream in the car whenever she was rear facing.... I sent her some links via email on erf and the benefits of it, and just told her I wanted her to have some research that was not commonly available, and she politely thanked me and told me she would look at them.

Anyways my point is that you may not be able to change her mind or practice but if you approach the situation like, hey I've done some research I thought you should know about, its likely the situation might be a little awkward but your friendship probably wont be affected.
 

Carrie_R

Ambassador - CPS Technician
Do you have seat checks in your area? I would probably ask her to go to a seat check with you, so that she gets the info from a third party.
 

jacqui276

New member
Do you have seat checks in your area? I would probably ask her to go to a seat check with you, so that she gets the info from a third party.
Just wanted to second that! I think that that would be a great non-confrontational way to approach it and then she will be hearing it from a professional so maybe it will sink in a bit better.

You could just say "hey, I am planning on getting my car seats checked by a tech on such and such day, would you be interested in joining me since you just had a little one?"
 

nannykates

New member
This makes me think of my neighbor again...ive been talking to her about erf ect for a while and it felt like she wasnt listening. A few weeks ago she asked to connect me with a friend of hers looking for convertibles because she knew not to recommend what she choose for her kids to others. I didnt make a difference in what she did but I did in what she said...spreading the words of car seats is spreading the words of carseats....even when we dont win.
 

seb3244

New member
Just wanted to second that! I think that that would be a great non-confrontational way to approach it and then she will be hearing it from a professional so maybe it will sink in a bit better. You could just say "hey, I am planning on getting my car seats checked by a tech on such and such day, would you be interested in joining me since you just had a little one?"
I have been to one car seat check that was in our area. It was a couple fire fighters and I felt like (from the knowledge I have gained from reading the manual and from this forum) I knew more than they did about car seats.

I wonder if there is a car seat check in the area that is run by an actual car seat technician.
Anyone know where I could find one?
 

Carrie_R

Ambassador - CPS Technician
If you would be comfortable PMing me (or posting) your location, I could try to sleuth one out for you.

Even if you know more than the firefighters, if they know more than her and can convince her of the basics, it is a win.
 

1mommy

New member
Not all fire stations have bad techs, I went to a car seat check run by firefighters when I was 6 months and it went pretty well, they told me not to install with latch and the seat belt (oops) and reminded me that my straps were too loose on my son. Then I went to a local fire station (with a certified CPST) right after I put him in a convertible at 1 year and they reminded me about straps must be at or below his shoulders, and told me it was installed just a little loose and helped me tighten it up, and when I asked about the recline because I was worried it was too upright he checked it and told me it was fine, and warned me about the danger of leaving an seat belt hanging loose (if i installed with just latch) once I turn him FF.

So even though Fire Station Techs may not be the most passionate or knowledgeable, just the basics can be of a big help to parents who like me didn't know any better at the time.
 

MoonRocket

New member
Can you have your husband volunteer you? You should ask my wife to to look at your car seats. She's obsessed with them and loves the opportunity to check them out and make sure they are set up with all the latest insider tips.

Have him sound like she's doing you a favor rather than the opposite. Then she will most likely be less defensive.
 

seb3244

New member
If you would be comfortable PMing me (or posting) your location, I could try to sleuth one out for you. Even if you know more than the firefighters, if they know more than her and can convince her of the basics, it is a win.
I pm'ed you! & yes you are correct it will be a win :)
 

seb3244

New member
Can you have your husband volunteer you? You should ask my wife to to look at your car seats. She's obsessed with them and loves the opportunity to check them out and make sure they are set up with all the latest insider tips. Have him sound like she's doing you a favor rather than the opposite. Then she will most likely be less defensive.
This is a good idea only my husband doesn't even wear his seatbelt 1/2 the time :(
I could ask him to do that and see what he says.
 

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