Vent PLEASE, stay rear-facing past 12mos/20lbs


New member
I just wanted to add that I was debating getting a new seat for my DD2 (instead giving her DD1's Decathlon, which only Rf to 20 lbs), and after reading this thread, I'm sure I will get her a newer seat in which she can ERF!

I'm so sorry about what happened to your grandson, but I thank you for the information....It affirmed for me that we need to keep her rear-facing as long as possible.

The decathlon rear faces to 33#s so you should be good for awhile.:thumbsup:


Active member
Ok i dont know how to PM you the pics so im posting them here. Here is Colton 23 months 26 pounds 34-35 inches tall. Use any of them that you want:)





New member

I'm getting it up and running... also trying to find the right song for the background... any suggestions??


New member
something very emotional... no thoughts.
I cant wait to see the video though. Sorry I cant contribute any pics, I think dd is too small to make a difference. I think maybe you need a pic of Piper!!


Active member
Ok i was searching songs on youtube lol and here are a few not the best but still looking:)


Nickleback-Savin me

Rascal Flatts-Feels Like Today

Rascal Flatts- My Wish

Mariah Carey and Whitey Houston- When you Believe

Kelly Clarkson-Because of You

3 Doors Down- Its not my time

looking for more not sure if any of these are what your looking for but its a start i guess


New member
I love that song by Lindsey Haun... for some reason, I just hadn't thought of it.

On the other hand, not only does THAT Nickelback song seem perfect, but a Nickelback song would tie into the david miller video... and there is something about the painfully sad tone to the lead singer's voice that works.

ugh... decisions.


Okay, this absolutely terrifies me. My little one is 7 months and 20 pounds. She may even be over 20 pounds, as that was her weight a month ago at her last check-up. She is in an infant seat now, but the weight limit is 22 pounds. I've been planning to buy a convertible seat, and I came online to figure out which one is the best and how long she had to be rear-facing.

I had no idea that it was so dangerous to go forward-facing! I will have her rear-facing as long as possible, but I'm very upset that the highest weight limit seems to be only 35 pounds. My baby is not fat, she's just big. They say breastfed babies tend to be bigger for a while than formula-fed babies, and then it tends to even out. I don't know what to expect for my baby. How long before she reaches 35 pounds?

I want one of those European seats. Why can't I get one? This is my BABY we're talking about.

I'm wondering if it would be better to keep her in a rear-facing seat even after she reaches the weight-limit. What would be safer? Being over the rf-weight limit or going forward too soon?


Senior Community Member
Welcome to the forum :)

I want one of those European seats. Why can't I get one? This is my BABY we're talking about.

I'm wondering if it would be better to keep her in a rear-facing seat even after she reaches the weight-limit. What would be safer? Being over the rf-weight limit or going forward too soon?

Are you in the U.S.? One must petition NHTSA to legally use a foreign seat & only diagnosed Special Needs are approved. Often, the convertibles currently on the market are sufficient to keep toddlers/preschoolers with Special Needs RF until the appropriate time. Chances are your child will be safe in many available convertibles. Please check out Sacred Journeys: Safety Seat Basics for helpful links to begin your convertible seat comparison shopping. We should be able to help you narrow down your choices if you would also share your vehicle year\make\model info :question:

Also, infant seats are outgrown by either weight or height. It sounds like your baby is close to the weight limit, but how about length -- is there at least 1" of hard plastic shell/frame above your baby's head? If not, then the infant seat is already too small.


New member
I'm wondering if it would be better to keep her in a rear-facing seat even after she reaches the weight-limit. What would be safer? Being over the rf-weight limit or going forward too soon?

I just wanted to add that it's definitely safer to turn FF than to use the seat over the RF limit. The seat could fail and it will be very very dangerous. I know babies that reach 35lbs at 13mo or so and that's really sad we cant get those foreign seats, but most kids can make it way longer. Weight gain usually slows down a LOT after the first year so you dont have to be so worried yet. We're happy you learned about the benefits and will keep your child RF as long as possible. If you want start another thread with more info on your car, baby's height, your budget etc and we'll help you choose a convertible. Welcome!


New member
Yes... no one is saying to use a seat over the limits... we are instead demanding that manufacturers bring the seats with higher weight limits to the American Market.


New member
Okay, this absolutely terrifies me. My little one is 7 months and 20 pounds. (...) I don't know what to expect for my baby. How long before she reaches 35 pounds?

If you Google some infant growth charts, you should be able to at least make a rough estimate - look at what percentile she's in now and see when that line hits 35. Weight gain slows down a LOT around a year old, so you probably have more time than you think.

For comparison, my DS hit 20 pounds at his 6 month checkup and was at about 28-28.5 by 12 months - and now at 15 months, he's around 29.5, so his weight has slowed waaaay down. According to growth charts, if he stays on the same percentile (he's been very consistent so far), he should hit 35 pounds somewhere around 24-27 months old, maybe even a little later.

So I would make a very rough guess that a 35 pound seat should last your daughter to at least 2 years old, maybe 2.5 or even close to 3 depending how her weight goes.


New member
I posted a link of luv2bfishin's blog on my own blog and just received this response:

I never thought about keeping my child rear facing longer until I saw your blog. Thanks for the info. Although I don't feel I can turn my other kids back rear facing I'm going to keep (child's name) rear facing much longer. I also did a small post on my website about it thanks to your link to the Grandfather's story. Check it out if you get a chance and leave any additional comments you may have. (I also deleted her blog site)

Just had to share that one more person Joel's story has reached. :D


New member
Yeah - I made a quick 1 sheeter - with a "What... you want me to rear face my baby to 2? Why?" sheet... (yeah I know... longer then 2 would be ideal... but BELIEVE me... I would be jumping for JOY if I could get some of these families to rear face their baby past 1 at all!)

I do seat checks once a week at a local center for low income families. Usually my rear facing talk is just sort of ignored. They still ask me to forward face. This time, I simply handed them the sheet - it had very simple info on it - not too many details - with some information about what a crash does to a child forward facing - and the photos of Joel (since his grandfather granted permission above... I noted it on the sheet that the photos were allowed for educational purposes).

Anyhow - a TON of these moms I spoke with - many are recovering addicts, some are homeless (they go in shelter vans), some are just not educated - they all took a sheet, read it and said "gosh - I just didn't know this".

I know the scare tactic isn't a good one always. Sometimes it makes people block things out even more... but this time, i think with the photos and the fact that he did survive and we have those "after" shots, it got to them. of course - most of their kids are under 1... so hopefully if they keep coming to the center, and keep seeing me there, they will keep their babies past 1... but it's the first time i felt like I got through some of them!

Anyhow - Joel's story is definitely making an impact on the group of women I work with... and I'll use ANYTHING that can get these women to keep their kids safe.


New member
I finally got the nerve to post this story on my local mom's group. They have previously told me they don't want to hear about car seats. I just couldn't bear to not tell them. Maybe they'll quit thinking I'm so weird and crazy for rfing my 1 and 3 year olds.


Senior Community Member
My first thought is that luv2bfishin has a story and a passion very much like Joe C. (personal tragedy inspired an amazing CPS advocate and educator).

My other is - have "we" sent luv2bfishin to

Finally - best wishes to Joel and his family. May his rehab exceed expectations.


New member
Wow, I missed this thread when it was posted. And am crying, I have a 2.5 year old Joel, and just reading his name in there made me tear up. I am so sorry you and your family went through that type of accident and it is a miracle indeed. I will link your story where I can.


New member
Is there a Myspace profile for Joel yet?

I sent the craigslist post to an RN I know. I give a car seat speech to her ABC of baby care class at the local birth center. She just bought a MA for her grandson that turned 1 last month. They live in FL and she's from PA. They installed it FF! She was soooooo mad!

She sent them the Youtube video and Joel's story and you know what her son and daugher in law replied! :mad:

I told you in the last email, he is already rear facing. We don't know how long we'll have him there, but your pushing the issue is becoming a bit much. We do appreciate the knowledgable information but all the personal stories are depressing. Mason is safe. Please drop the car seat issue with us. We've also decided that for Mason for Christmas we're getting him a "Baby's First Pocket Knife".

Pam was heart broken!

Car-Seat.Org Facebook Group

Forum statistics

Latest member

You must read your carseat and vehicle owner’s manual and understand any relevant state laws. These are the rules you must follow to restrain your children safely. All opinions at Car-Seat.Org are those of the individual author for informational purposes only, and do not necessarily reflect any policy or position of Carseat Media LLC. Car-Seat.Org makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information on this site and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries, or damages arising from its display or use. All information is provided on an as-is basis. If you are unsure about information provided to you, please visit a local certified technician. Before posting or using our website you must read and agree to our TERMS.

Maxi Cosi is a proud sponsor of Car-Seat.Org!Graco is a Proud Sponsor of Car-Seat.Org!Nuna Baby is a Proud Sponsor of Car-Seat.Org!

Please  Support Car-Seat.Org  with your purchases of infant, convertible, combination and boosters seats from our premier sponsors above.
Shop travel systems, strollers and baby gear from Britax, Chicco, Clek, Combi, Evenflo, First Years, Graco, Maxi-Cosi, Nuna, Safety 1st, Diono & more! ©2001-2021 Carseat Media LLC