other (irresponsible) parents driving your kids

kestrel

New member
Haven’t been her for a while.. my kids have outgrown many car seats, and I’m back here for a long rant!

My son is 9 and rides most of the time in a backless booster.
I’d say about half of his friends ride in boosters, the other half does not despite the fact that it is pretty obvious that they need one since they have the shoulder belt go across their neck!
I always have everyone in our car seat in a booster. We carpool a lot with friends to events, sports practices, etc, and I often have 3 kids in the backseat all in boosters. It’s a pain to buckle, but I would not drive them without it, even when they say “my parents said I don’t need a booster anymore”.

This weekend my son was going with a friend to the park. This is one of the friends who does not ride with a booster. I sent my son over with his own booster, but when he came back home he informed me that they were driving with the neighbor’s kids in tow, so they had 4 kids in the backseat of a private car, and he shared s seat belt with his friend!!!!!

I was furious at the parents, and pretty disappointed that my son did not think it was not OK. He knows from early on about car seat safety, he rear-faced till almost 3, and we talk a lot about why he still needs to be in a booster. Apparently he did not think there was anything wrong.

What is wrong with people? How could they think it’s ok do double 2 kids with one belt, especially when it’s not your own child?
We talked to them after and made it clear that this is not OK and should never happen again.
This is the first time something like this has happened with my son or his older sibling.
Being lax with car seats is one thing, but breaking the law like this is something completely different.
I would NEVER imagine doing this, needless to say with a child that is not mine.

I always make sure with other parents that my son needs to sit in a booster with a lap-shoulder belt (think about older cars with lap only belt in the middle), and he knows well how to buckle and sit safely for the duration of the ride.
Never occurred to me that I need to make sure others don’t have him share a sit belt!!!! SMH :-(

<end of rant..>
 
ADS

AllieK

New member
Yikes, I definitely wouldn't be happy about that either. I certainly remember riding like that in friends' cars as a child/teen, but I'm not sure my parents would have known better.

That puts the child in a tough position as well, to have to stand up to an adult and say, "no I won't ride that way"; I don't know that I could have done that at that age and I was a pretty outspoken child.

Tough situation! You don't want to keep your child living in a bubble but you definitely want them safe. I look forward to hearing from other parents who are more experienced than myself!
 

kestrel

New member
of course I was not expecting my 9 year old to stand up to the adults, but I was hoping he would notice that this is wrong..
 

littleangelfire

Well-known member
I actually know several people in my social circle who have done this and think it's ok. Number one they're assuming they won't be in an accident. Number two they don't see why it's dangerous anyway.
 

Kel

Well-known member
I never car pool for this reason. Ever. It's not worth it, I just drive my kids where they need to go.
We literally have people around here with kids sitting on the front console of Mini vans and 4-5 across the back when carpooling.
 

BananaBoat

Well-known member
In this situation, I would not have this person drive my kid around for a good, long while. Totally not worth it.
 

cookie123

New member
I would be livid.

When visiting friends out of state last fall they would have been fine with all 6 of us in a 5 passenger vehicle. I'm like, uh, no thanks. They were mad, I could tell.
 

mommabritt

New member
Most use around here is very lax. Kindergarten aged kids are frequently sitting up front, many time kids in the rear just set in seats and not buckled even. That being said....

Three weeks ago we had sports picture day. I have four kids, three kids playing and with different time schedules. I left my 8 year old with his coach while I ran home for my other kids. When I came back, my son had a happy meal. He then tells me he went to McDonald's with his coach and team (I hadn't been informed of this) AND he even got to sit in the front seat (yes, he was thrilled about that). I was so mad. We were not in a situation where I could have addressed them and I felt awkward since they had treated him to lunch but I will be much more verbal about the plan going forward in regards to what I'm okay with.
 

bnsnyde

New member
Yeah, now that I have an 8 and 9-old (and I don't see their friends in boosters), it is awkward.

Now, our van is FULL with 6 carseats so I cannot carpool if I have all my kids. And I pretty much drive them all over but it's tough...

I send them with a booster if they go with a friend though.
But the 9 YO is almost 5 stepping but I have no idea if he would in various seating positions, so it's tricky. If I send him with a booster, even an Incognito, it could be WORSE belt fit than nothing. Or it could make for perfect belt fit. And I can't try out all their cars first.

In our van the Incognito is perfect and I see him using it for many many more months, at least. Some of the kids in his class are almost as tall as adults (4th grade and some tall kids!) so boosters are not on these parents' radar. That, and most stopped having their kids use boosters well before age 8.

I see a lot of 2 to 4 year olds in boosters.
 

kestrel

New member
I see a lot of 2 to 4 year olds in boosters.

I see that too here, though I think people do that mostly for convenience, and they don't think there is anything not safe with having a 2 year old in a booster, especially with multiple kids and cold winters that make it really hard to buckle properly in 5-point harness.
I'm not saying it's ok, but they are probably safer than riding in a 5-point with bulky winter jacket and loose straps.

I have all the 8-9 year olds who ride with us seat in a booster, even if they stopped using it in their parents' car. I haven't seen a single 3rd grader in my son's circles who has 5-stepped, even the tall kids.

However, doubling one buckle is as bad as riding with no buckle, and also illegal.
I send my son with a booster and I expect other parents to respect this and have him seated in a booster. It's a narrow lite-rider and should fit in any car, and if they have too many passengers I expect them to contact me before being "creative".
 

littleangelfire

Well-known member
I see that too here, though I think people do that mostly for convenience, and they don't think there is anything not safe with having a 2 year old in a booster, especially with multiple kids and cold winters that make it really hard to buckle properly in 5-point harness.
I'm not saying it's ok, but they are probably safer than riding in a 5-point with bulky winter jacket and loose straps.

I have all the 8-9 year olds who ride with us seat in a booster, even if they stopped using it in their parents' car. I haven't seen a single 3rd grader in my son's circles who has 5-stepped, even the tall kids.

However, doubling one buckle is as bad as riding with no buckle, and also illegal.
I send my son with a booster and I expect other parents to respect this and have him seated in a booster. It's a narrow lite-rider and should fit in any car, and if they have too many passengers I expect them to contact me before being "creative".

That is funny. It says you quoted me but I didn't say that, lol
 

kestrel

New member
uugghhh

is sharing seatbelt such a common thing to do??

Now with my 13 year old, was out with friends and had a ride home with another parent.
The parent comes to pick up and somehow there are more kids than seats in the car, because other parents drop of their kids and tell them to find a ride home with someone, so "no problem, will double up 2 kids"
My kiddo texts me ".. mom what do I do? " . At least my kid has more sense than some adults.
I tell her to stay there and I'll pick her up. The designated driver calls me and says it's not a problem because MY kid will have a seat belt of her own, and he's going to double up HIS kid with someone else. Ugggggghhhh. Do people don't get the laws of physics? My 10 year old understands this..

Had a conversation on the way home about adult behavior, and how this will probably be first time of many, and what to do in similar future situations
My kid felt super awkward telling another parent she will not ride in the car, so I made sure to praise her for being responsible and doing the right thing!
 

cookie123

New member
This thread is a year old. Good for your kid to text you. Honestly I think it's up to us as parents to make sure they are riding safely ahead of time to avoid awkward situations whenever possible. I also realize that it's not always possible. Curious what you told him to do in the future? I think texting you was good so you could come and get her. But how to save face and not have to confront an adult? What ideas did you come up with?
 

kestrel

New member
This thread is a year old. Good for your kid to text you. Honestly I think it's up to us as parents to make sure they are riding safely ahead of time to avoid awkward situations whenever possible. I also realize that it's not always possible. Curious what you told him to do in the future? I think texting you was good so you could come and get her. But how to save face and not have to confront an adult? What ideas did you come up with?


yes, I started the thread a year ago when this first happened with my son. He was too young to confront the adult.
This time it happened with an older child, my 13 YO
I told her to always listen to her gut feeling, and even if she feels awkward she should know she's done the right thing.
Both kids know very well what is ok and what is not, they know better than most adults how to use boosters and seat belts properly

I don't think there is a way to avoid confronting an adult if a parent/guardian is not around
I just told her I'm proud of her doing the right thing, and I always prefer to come pick up and not have them ride a car in an unsafe illegal manner. Also told her that adults make mistakes and bad calls. Doesn't make them bad people, but they are just sometimes oblivious to things, or think that "it's only a 2 mile ride"

I've seen before 8 college kids pour out of a 5 seat car, were probably lap seating in the back, so I can only hope when my kids get older they will know better and not get to such situations. We talked about that too and about possible solutions such as call another friend, walk if feasible, take the bus , call a cab.
 

Car-Seat.Org Facebook Group

Forum statistics

Threads
219,655
Messages
2,196,895
Members
13,530
Latest member
onehitko860

You must read your carseat and vehicle owner’s manual and understand any relevant state laws. These are the rules you must follow to restrain your children safely. All opinions at Car-Seat.Org are those of the individual author for informational purposes only, and do not necessarily reflect any policy or position of Carseat Media LLC. Car-Seat.Org makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information on this site and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries, or damages arising from its display or use. All information is provided on an as-is basis. If you are unsure about information provided to you, please visit a local certified technician. Before posting or using our website you must read and agree to our TERMS.

Graco is a Proud Sponsor of Car-Seat.Org! Britax is a Proud Sponsor of Car-Seat.Org! Nuna Baby is a Proud Sponsor of Car-Seat.Org!

Please  Support Car-Seat.Org  with your purchases of infant, convertible, combination and boosters seats from our premier sponsors above.
Shop travel systems, strollers and baby gear from Britax, Chicco, Clek, Combi, Evenflo, First Years, Graco, Maxi-Cosi, Nuna, Safety 1st, Diono & more! ©2001-2022 Carseat Media LLC

Top