Older kids

hillary116

New member
Hi- it has been a couple of years since I last posted and I need your advice again.
My eleven year old is about 55-56 inches and 75 pounds. She does not pass the five step test in our cars. She rides in a backless turbo booster in our cars or a bubble bum on trips. We are in a stand off due to total embarrassment over the booster. She is apparently the only one in the entire fourth or fifth grade in her school still in a booster. (Other than her twin brother who is not embarrassed at all). She says she is teased relentlessly. She skips parties etc to avoid being seen in the booster. Help me cope with her wrath.
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jaemom

New member
I hear you! My older two are 10.5 and almost 12. They 5 step in some seats, but not others. They use the incognito in our van I got black and it goes on our black seats and you can barely see it. If someone does, we just say it is a seat cushion. Maybe that would help? I think they were only $20 each. Definitely worth it to us. Could you show her videos of crash testing, showing she is safer in a booster? That worked for my Ds2, who is kind of a science nerd.
 

hillary116

New member
Thanks for the Incognito idea. I will give that a shot. What do you do when your kid needs to ride in someone else's car? Do they mind taking the Incognito along for the ride?
The videos are worth trying but I don't honk she will care much. None of her friends have been in boosters since 1st grade or so and "they're still alive". Some even ride in the front seat already. 🙁
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aept

New member
My oldest is in incognitos and yes he does take it into other people's cars. It's pretty lightweight and he hasn't been embarrassed by it yet but he's 9.5 so I can't guarantee your daughter will feel the same! But seriously it looks pretty "adult" and not really too much like a kiddie booster seat.
In my opinion the best thing about the incognito is that it really doesn't make them that much "taller" at all, maybe 1-1.5" so it's a better fit for my son as he has a tall torso and a tall head (lol) so otherwise a regular booster like the turbo would put him over the top of some vehicle headrests. This also helps it be discreet because it won't make her way tall so it will be much less obvious that she is sitting on anything.
 

jaemom

New member
Thanks for the Incognito idea. I will give that a shot. What do you do when your kid needs to ride in someone else's car? Do they mind taking the Incognito along for the ride? The videos are worth trying but I don't honk she will care much. None of her friends have been in boosters since 1st grade or so and "they're still alive". Some even ride in the front seat already. dde41 Posted via Mobile Device
Honestly, I do not make mine take a booster if they are riding with a friend. I know in some seats they may not have perfect belt fit, but I figure if I have gotten them to ride in the booster 99% of the time in our main vehicles, then I have won the big fight. I taught them they must have a lap/ shoulder belt and how to fit the lap belt as low as possible and to never put the shoulder belt behind them or anything. My boys are in 5th and 6 th grade. They are both about 4' 9" tall. Ds1 is 70lbs, while Ds2 is about 80lbs. Ds1 is in middle school, he would refuse to have a social life if I made him take a booster with him. I do sometimes let ds1 ride in the front seat of our Ford Fusion sedan, if I have all 3 kids with me. He is a bit too tall for the center back seat, which doesn't have headrests. It isn't ideal, but I feel he is safer in the front with head support than in the back without it. My younger two sit outboard where there are headrests, and ds3 is 8.5 and uses a backless parkway. He actually still has a high back booster in our van, due to the funky belt geometry in the Dodge. Same here, most of the other kids at school stopped using a booster the day they turned 6.
 

jacqui276

New member
DD is 11 and in grade 6. She thankfully five steps since she would be mortified if I made her ride in a booster still. She stopped using hers shortly after she turned 10 when the seat belt fit was worse with the booster than it was without. She had about a year in there where she didn't ride with friends because she was embarrassed by it.


My niece is almost 9 and super tiny so it will likely be close to adult age before she comes close to 5-stepping so I'm not sure what I would do in that situation. She asks frequently if she is big enough to not use the booster yet but is still compliant about using it and it hasn't affected her social life yet.
 

joolsplus3

Admin - CPS Technician
We do an Incognito in our cars and nothing in others' now. That worked with my older kids, too. Really had a good talk about sitting properly, finding the seat with the headrest and shoulderbelt, and generally advocating for their own safety. (It was a good preview of helping them navigate much more dangerous teenager situations, too...a slightly ill-fitting seatbelt seems like nothing compared to putting them in the car with their hyper friends, even after strict graduated licensing laws :eek:)
 

ketchupqueen

CPST and ketchup snob
Staff member
My eldest is almost 12 and only 5-steps in a few seating positions in a few cars. She's happy to ride without a booster in those spots but doesn't mind her booster in hers because she knows the importance of good belt fit. So we test her periodically and then she goes back to a booster happily because the belt fits better.

A Bubblebum in other people's cars doesn't bug her, because she'd rather be safe and comfortable even if her friends don't use boosters. But if anyone starts to tease her she looks at them like they are idiots and tells them she doesn't want to have her internal organs smashed and die, so that helps shut down any peer pressure there might be. And the parents know better than to question it, lol.
 

thepote

New member
Honestly, I do not make mine take a booster if they are riding with a friend. I know in some seats they may not have perfect belt fit, but I figure if I have gotten them to ride in the booster 99% of the time in our main vehicles, then I have won the big fight. I taught them they must have a lap/ shoulder belt and how to fit the lap belt as low as possible and to never put the shoulder belt behind them or anything. My boys are in 5th and 6 th grade. They are both about 4' 9" tall. Ds1 is 70lbs, while Ds2 is about 80lbs. Ds1 is in middle school, he would refuse to have a social life if I made him take a booster with him. I do sometimes let ds1 ride in the front seat of our Ford Fusion sedan, if I have all 3 kids with me. He is a bit too tall for the center back seat, which doesn't have headrests. It isn't ideal, but I feel he is safer in the front with head support than in the back without it. My younger two sit outboard where there are headrests, and ds3 is 8.5 and uses a backless parkway. He actually still has a high back booster in our van, due to the funky belt geometry in the Dodge. Same here, most of the other kids at school stopped using a booster the day they turned 6.

This is us, too. For some kids it's not a big deal to take a booster and that's great, but for the kids for whom it is, I don't push it if they are close to fitting correctly and know how to place the seatbelt. My younger boys are 9 and 12. The 9yo takes a bubblebum to dance (well-hidden in his dance bag lol) because the kid he rides home with is 7 and also uses a booster, but with anyone his age I don't push it unless it's someone he knows uses one (there are still a couple kids here, amazingly). He uses one in both our cars unless he has a friend, then they need to sit in the third row where the belt fit is better.
 

aeormsby

New member
I'm glad I'm not the only one that has doesn't force the booster issue in other peoples vehicles. DD is 10, 75+lb & 4'-?" and 5-steps in a few spots in our vehicles. I think she has one or two friends who still use a booster (I know one of her friends doesn't say anything when I have a booster for her in our vehicle). Luckily the 3rd row of our Saturn is the best place for smaller kids 5-stepping, so when we have friends in our vehicle that's where they sit if they don't want to use the booster.

She does know to sit all the way back, if she's in another vehicle without a booster. I should probably go over all that with her again (headrest, shoulder belt, sitting all the way back) since she's getting more social.

And the Incognito is great for those almost big enough kids! DD will start using it full time in one of our vehicles this summer when her Parkway expires.
 

momtoo3

Well-known member
Ds2 is 10.5. He 5 steps in my van but not the second row of dh's Yukon xl. He uses a booster there but not in the third row where the seat belts are different. The headrests are not adjustable in the third row and a booster puts him way too high. The seat belt fits decently without it back there. He hasn't taken a booster with him with anyone else for about a year. He 5 steps with the two main people he rides with and I would guess that he would in 95% of vehicles. He knows he needs a headrest and shoulder belt as well as how the seat belt should fit.
 

mommabritt

New member
I love that Twinkie Physics Booklet!!! I wish our elementary school would add a pile of brochures for child passenger safety. Too many younger school aged kids riding in the seatbelt alone around here.

I agree on the incognito though, my 10 year old has one. He isn't embarrassed of the booster yet so he actually prefers the amp but when he is, it's there.
 

veggiegirl228

New member
I should also add that DD (almost 10) has never complained or commented about being in a booster. As far as other cars, she only rides with DH or I so I'm not sure how should would feel on that level.
 

bnsnyde

New member
My 9 YO uses the Incognito. He is in 4th grade. 57.5" so might be able to go without now or soon; I have not checked yet. Incognito fits him well anyway in his spot.

That's what fits with our 6 seats in the van. He uses a highback Recaro in our spare car and is fine with it.

I generally see the second graders in nothing (my daughter is in that grade and none of her friends use a booster).

But, I know of 2 other 4th graders who use one.
I agree crash test videos are good to show.
 

mping

New member
My 10 yo is 5 stepping in some seats/cars but not all. She uses an Incognito also. She will take a bubble bum with her sometimes but in most cases, especially in sedans, she 5 steps now as a booster would make her too tall. She's just over 57 in now. Meanwhile my 8 yo is 45 in tall so will be in a booster until he's driving [emoji12]
I don't know what we'll do if and when he gets embarrassed but is still super tiny.


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Athena

Well-known member
Definitely the incognito! It's discreet and it will fit her much longer than your turbo because it doesn't boost her up as high. As far as riding with "friends" who tease, can she stick with real friends and avoid the problem?

But if anyone starts to tease her she looks at them like they are idiots and tells them she doesn't want to have her internal organs smashed and die, so that helps shut down any peer pressure there might be.

:love::love::love:
 

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