No longer being friends because of car seat use

mominabigtruck

New member
You live in the real world, where it ain't all fairy tales and unicorns and gentle, gentle hugs.

I've read a lot of your comments, including ones that others find upsetting, and generally I just think "pretty much," or "thank god someone else wants to tell them to snap out of it" :)
I think that's the nicest thing anyone on here has ever said to me:D

I really am a nice person IRL, I just don't have the patience for stupidity or hand holding. If you want someone to sugarcoat it for you, I am not the person you want to be talking to.
Posted via Mobile Device
 

Kat_Momof3

New member
I don't think you're crazy at all. People who go by the minimums or less than the max capabilities, I understand and am fine with... at least they're not just outright throwing safety to the wind.

But those two examples just make me cringe.

The one that REALLY gets me though is the one who is putting her views on your kids.

I could probably (with a LOT of tongue biting) tolerate the first as long as she got the "not in my car" thing (aka... I'm not assuming liability for injury/death of your child, so the seat must be used as instructed at least to the minimums... rearfacing till minimum ff capacity, straps tight, properly installed)

But I won't take bullying of either kind... questions, suggestions from either side (yours/theirs) fine. otherwise, if you can't be nice, don't be around. (I know you're nice, but just saying for the general population... that we can't be all stuck and unreasonable)
 

hedgefun

New member
I don't think you're crazy at all. I have a certain amount of tolerance for not following best practice, but I don't think I could be friends with (A) someone who blatantly puts their child in danger, or (B) disrespects my child/children.
 

henrietta

New member
In those two cases, if they seriously thought it was okay....and I had explained how unsafe (AND ILLEGAL) it is and they still wouldn't change, our friendship would probably be over. I've been a parent long enough to know that parents like that have other practices that will eventually carry over to my kids (such as the stupid comments about their carseats...or worse--letting them play on a busy street, not watching them when needed, leaving them alone near water, etc. etc.). Eventually, something will come b/t you and this "friend" anyways, b/c she lacks so much concern for her kid's safety.

Sure, I have friends who turn their kids forward facing at a year, despite "knowing better", who are more lax about some things than I am, but they respect my decision for my kids and they would NEVER be so blatently stupid.

If you're able to just visit at play places w/this friend and the kids enjoy each other, it might be doable. But it may just be easier to cut your ties sooner than later.

hths

henrietta
 
I have not ended friendships over the friend's car seat use, but I have ended friendships over someone criticizing me (publicly on facebook) for having my 3 1/2 year old dd RF. This was back in January, actually, so she wasn't even 3 1/2 yet.
This "friend" is someone who has a child roughly the same age as my dd, and he turned his son FF at 20 months old, and felt "that was good enough". Whatever. I do not preach to ppl who FF their kids when I know that they have all the info about the benefits of RF. But I absolutely get my panties in a bunch when those same ppl tell me it's unsafe/uncomfortable/or just plain ridiculous to have my 3 1/2 year old RF in the car.
 

PunkyMonkey

New member
I have seriously de-friended based on negligence and ignorance. I have deleted SO many people on FB that just added me because we went to school together or something to that effect because I'll mention to them in a message regarding their 2 year old in a Nbb and they'll either ignore me or write back like "well he didn't want to sit in a car seat anymore" and I just can't handle that kind of blatant ignorance to a life or death situation. Don't feel bad for de-friending people because of this, if you saw your friend bring their baby into a burning building you'd think they were just as moronic and couldn't be their friend for that? Or leaving their 2 year old alone by a swimming pool...... its no different to me! Stupid is stupid... all we can do is mention a safer solution or THE LAW and if they don't want to hear it well I can't stand by and watch something bad happen.
 
Last edited:

T4K

New member
PunkyMonkey said:
I have seriously de-friended based on negligence and ignorance. I have deleted SO many people on FB that just added me because we went to school together or something to that effect because I'll make a comment on their 2 year old in a Nbb and they'll either ignore me or post something back like "well he didn't want to sit in a car seat anymore" and I just can't handle that kind of blatant ignorance to a life or death situation. Don't feel bad for de-friending people because of this, if you saw your friend bring their baby into a burning building you'd think they were just as moronic and couldn't be their friend for that? Or leaving their 2 year old alone by a swimming pool...... its no different to me! Stupid is stupid... all we can do is mention a safer solution or THE LAW and if they don't want to hear it well I can't stand by and watch something bad happen.
Well, I would be thrilled about Comments criticizing me either. If you say something, send a message.
 

PunkyMonkey

New member
Well, I would be thrilled about Comments criticizing me either. If you say something, send a message.
I normally do, sorry I used the word "comment" I didn't literally mean it as in "Facebook Comment" but more so 'commenting on' as in 'mentioning something to' -- sorry! I am not a public belittler as I know that always has negative effects!
 

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