losing the battle

[mully4235]

I have a 9 year old still in a booster (I don't feel the seat belt fits him right even though hes a big kid for 9). I also have a 2 1/2 year old and 6 month old both RF. I'm losing the battle to RF with the 2 1/2. He's fine with it. My husband wants to turn him around. He keeps mentioning it all the time now. He's 30 lbs. Should I stand firm? We're traveling 15 hours in our van next month to a wedding and then back. DH says our boy will complain about his legs after that long in a seat.

 

[cupcakepirate11]

My almost 3 yo never complains about his legs being squished and we drove cross country with him rear facing. I think dh is just coming up with reasons to turn him. I personally won't turn my son till 3-3 1/2

Also take into consideration the risk of driving for that long increases the odds of an accident so why shouldn't he be safe as possible in the car if he can be?

 

[ketchupqueen]

Well, he'd likely complain more with them dangling with no support. I know I wish I could safely put my legs up.

Of note, no one should be continually in the car for more than 2 hours without stopping to move around. 3 if you're pushing it, but with a baby that young I'd err on the side of caution. It's important to maintain circulation and prevent DVTs in everyone and desaturation in young infants. So he won't be any more uncomfortable than anyone else, and probably more comfortable. Flipping him so he'll have no leg support and slump forward when asleep isn't going to help comfort wise, and it's less safe, and probably even would reduce his view, so I wouldn't do it.

 

[Keeyamah]

Also, he'll likely sleep better RFing than he would FFing on a long road trip. I actually flipped my ODS back to RFing for a long trip for that reason. I'd stand firm until at least 3 myself.

 

[Baylor]

You should work it out with DH. Why not say, Okay. I know that this bothers you. But the research shows he is safe in a crash if he is RF. How about 3. When he is 3 we can turn him.

I would not battle over it. I would talk about it.

 

[MommyShannon]

My rf 3 year old can hold onto toys much better than my ff kids. She is very comfortable sleeping too.

 

[Mamasboys]

I also don't think a cross-country trip is a reason for turning FF. If anything, I would RF any kid possible for a long trip, for comfort and sleeping (which equals happy, quiet car for parent sanity ). A brand-new FF child is not going to *know* how feel comfortable for sleeping (not to mention sore, numb dangling legs kicking the seat in front ).

 

[Persimmon]

How does DH do things at work? When I wanted to buy 2 more seats to keep DS RF at 3, DH initially was against it. I told him I was open to hear his side and we set a time when DS was asleep for a meeting. To make it more lighthearted since DH knew I was NOT happy about the idea of FF him, I typed up a fake agenda and put some fun things on it--we started with DH's favorite dessert. Then I made a presentation with videos of FF and RF collisions, abstracts from the research articles on the benefits of RF, pics of 4 year olds with folded legs happily RF, etc. Now DH is totally pro-extended rear facing. I think it was the videos that got him. Watching those test dummies' heads fly forward like that is stomach turning and DS has a 95% sized head on a 50% tall body.

 

[Kel]

Legs falling asleep was a major issue with my FF in DD. I would have tuned her back if I could have, but she was over the weight limit at the time.

Their legs just dangle. Stand firm. Make a deal. Start with " when he hits the height limit, if that don't work say 3.5. If all else fails stand firm at 3. Then tell him you have to clean out the car first, lol.

 

[Kel]

And pp had a good idea about the dummy test videos. We all know men relate well to dummies.......

 

[Mamasboys]

I guess I've got a DH who defers any and all child safety and health decisions to me. But then, I delegate all computer, home repair, and car purchase decisions to him (I'm as clueless as he is to car seats). Works out well that way. If I can't (and I won't) tell him *no* to a certain computer thingy or lawn tool, or whatever because I don't understand it or I think it's a waste of money, he understands he won't say *no* to ERF capable seats for equally ignorant reasons.

 

[jwilliams]

I would suggest that you diplomatically tell your husband that your son can be turned when he reaches the RF limits of the seat. That seems reasonable. My husband was sold on RF once I told him about the physics of it and shared a crash video - did you lay out your reasons for wanting to keep your children RF as long as possible/practical?

I agree that an epic journey is probably not the best time to try something new, especially if your son is not complaining. Is the seat being RF causing some kind of inconvenience or discomfort for your husband? E.g. leg room, difficulty getting your child into the seat?

My 3.5 year old was FF for a bit due to a three-across situation. We were finally able to turn her back to RF a few weeks ago. I am glad, especially because we have a long drive coming up in May. Safety stuff aside - she can no longer kick the front seats/center console, she seems more likely to sleep on long trips, and she gets much more involved in playing because she can have several toys and books propped up against the seat back. I don't miss hearing, "I dropped my..." anymore!

 

[agave]

My oldest took her first long ride (400 miles each way) FF at 3 yrs 8 months. It was miserable she didn't sleep at all and threw some insanely irrational fits. She had done this drive many times and had been great for years. We are doing the same drive in May and my youngest will be 3 1/2 she's been asking to turn for months but there is not a chance of that happening before our trip.

 

[scariestone]

Well, he'd likely complain more with them dangling with no support. I know I wish I could safely put my legs up.

:yeahthat: And your DH will complain when DS is kicking the back of his seat. I tried quoting the data to DH, convincing him DS was more comfortable and that it was easier. None of that worked. In an act of desperation, I explained to him what internal decapitation is. He had a horrified look on his face and didn't bring it up again for a year and a half so I was able to keep DS RF until 4. Dads seem to think keeping kids RF is "babying them" to the point that the safety aspect goes out the window.

 

[~*Jen*~]

I think that a big trip like that is more reason to keep a kid RF. My daughter is about the same age, 2.5, and we drive halfway across the country in December and I think she had the most comfortable ride of all of us. She could cross her legs, stretch them, sleep comfortable, watch DVDs. We stopped every couple of hours and let her run around and stretch out.

My husband is willing to do what I ask, though. He just asked for proof, which was easy enough. (He's an engineer, though, so it's never enough to know that something works. He has to know why.) So DD will stay RF until she outgrows her Radian.

 

[bakinlove]

my husband and I are having the same "argument" about our daughter who will be 2 at the end of the month. He gets flack from his siblings regarding babying our kids by keeping them RFing. Our son RF'd until 22ish months when he outgrew his EFTA by weight and I couldn't lift him into his MR any longer. My much smaller daughter has ages to go and is much more amenable to being lifted into her seats. So far the agreement that DH and I have come to is that she is safer RFing and will do so until she outgrows her seats. This could be 6 months in her EFTA or 18 months in her MR. However, there won't be turning until then. If she outgrows her EFTA before 3 I may fight for another RFing seat, but I might not depending on how old she is.
Also, the sibling that gives us the most grief turned his daughter who is 36 hours older than ours FFing on her first birthday. Her older sister has been in a booster since her 4th birthday. They believe that if it wasn't safe there would be a law about it. I do have to laugh at the irony that they chose a day care center rather than a care giver for their kids b/c they did not want them to be driving around with other people in unknown situations.

 

[newyorkDOC]

Assuming your 9yo is in the middle, s/he can entertain the other two much easier of they are RF.

Also, is your 2.5 yo very talkative yet? Bc my 4yo just turned FF and she's the WORST backseat driver ever!