Lending car seats proposal?

Nedra

Car-Seat.org Ambassador
We have friends who are due with a baby in July.

We have an awesome infant seat that will be collecting dust until it's used by our next child (and who knows when that will be).

We need a back-up convertible seat for our child. We were planning on a Sureride/Titan 65.

My husband has proposed lending our Aton 2 to the friends and asking them to buy their convertible early so that we can use it as our back-up until they are ready for it.

What do you think of this plan? What are things to consider when proposing an arrangement like this to friends? Who picks the convertible? (Them, right? Should we try it in our car too? I am hoping they just want a Nextfit, since they drive Honda Civics and the dad is really tall.) Any experiences/lessons to share?

We definitely trust them to be honest about if they seat gets into a crash. The mom works in public health and they are just generally honest, good people. My biggest concern would be that they might need to gate check the seat for a flight at some point -- they travel overseas a lot because the dad has family in Europe. Of course I would encourage them to buy a seat for the baby if they actually were planning a trip right now, but would we need to set "rules" for car seat use from the start when we propose this?

Thanks!
 

Nedra

Car-Seat.org Ambassador
What are you going to do for a backup convertible when they need theirs back?
Good question! We're basically just seeing this as a time-buying plan. My husband is convinced that if we buy something now, next year they'll come out with something cooler and we'll want that, etc.
 

bbartlettnfld

New member
I agree with bookmama, what if your friends have a very big baby who outgrows the Aton quickly? This may not be a thing.

I'm in Canada and havn't seen the Aton in 5 yrs since the first one was available from Mamas and Papas when I was still living in the Middle East, it didn't seem like a very big infant seat back then, but then again DS was a very big baby and fit the Britax MA at 8 weeks!
 

aeormsby

New member
With carseats I'd go with the 'don't lend anything out that you really plan on using again' philosophy.

Honestly I just wouldn't do it. They might get the use of the infant seat for free but they're loosing the time on the convertible before they'd really need it. And no matter how much you trust them you just never know if they're going to take care of your things the way you would. And it might not even be something they could control - what if they have a super spitty baby and the straps come back not so nice, or they wash the straps before returning it to you.
 

TechnoGranola

Forum Ambassador
If your husband is worried about a better convertible being out, there could easily be a better infant seat out when your next is born as well.

I'd just sell them the infant seat and use the money towards buying the convertible I needed. Then when next babe comes, buy the next, greatest infant seat which is the money you'd be spending anyway once returning the convertible to your friends.

I don't lend anything I expect back or expect back in the same condition it was lent in. Setting all these rules and wanting to be part of the convertible choice because you're using it, is just setting yourself up for animosity amongst friend all over a convoluted car seat swap.
 

CMeMeC

New member
From there perspective, I would not be ok buying a new seat and only getting to use it in new condition. You are coming out ahead. You got to use a new infant seat and a new convertible seat, they paif new price for a used convertible seat. I would loan them your seat if you want, since you have it and dont need it, but I wouldn't expect them to buy one early for your benefit. You can get an inexpensive back up seat instead.
 

tl01

New member
I personally would not do it. Some people treat seats like they are just seats and I wouldn't want it back in the condition it would come back in. I like my seats in clean condition. You never know if baby is going to be refluxy etc. With DS2 he spit up a lot and the keyfit I bought him didn't look great pretty quickly and I try super hard to keep things looking nice.
 

cookie123

New member
With carseats I'd go with the 'don't lend anything out that you really plan on using again' philosophy.

Honestly I just wouldn't do it. They might get the use of the infant seat for free but they're loosing the time on the convertible before they'd really need it. And no matter how much you trust them you just never know if they're going to take care of your things the way you would. And it might not even be something they could control - what if they have a super spitty baby and the straps come back not so nice, or they wash the straps before returning it to you.
I personally would not do it. Some people treat seats like they are just seats and I wouldn't want it back in the condition it would come back in. I like my seats in clean condition. You never know if baby is going to be refluxy etc. With DS2 he spit up a lot and the keyfit I bought him didn't look great pretty quickly and I try super hard to keep things looking nice.
I totally agree with these guys! Never lend out a seat you want to use again or expect to get back. If you're going to do it, be sure you're okay with never seeing it again because even if you get it back you most likely will not like it's condition.
On the other hand, if you're not having another baby for 5 years, you still might not like the condition it's in by the time you use it and you might want to think about selling it. Sometimes carseats don't store well for a long time.
 

sunnydayz

New member
Yeah, your friends would get the short end of the stick on this. I wouldn't ask them to buy a new seat that would be returned to them used. They would get your used infant seat, and then a convertible they bought new returned to them used.
 

Nedra

Car-Seat.org Ambassador
Yeah, your friends would get the short end of the stick on this. I wouldn't ask them to buy a new seat that would be returned to them used. They would get your used infant seat, and then a convertible they bought new returned to them used.
Yeah, I guess. Part of this is that our infant seat looks brand new. I hadn't thought of 1 year's worth of use as really "used." But then again my kid didn't really spit up much. Also, we've all been doing this kind of thing with clothes and other things. My sister buys stuff for my daughter (who is a few sizes bigger than her daughter) with the intent of getting it back and using it for her own daughter. Car seats are different, of course, but the mindset (of buying like this so that as many people in the community can get use out of it) is already common amongst our friends.

I doubt that they would really end up with the short end of the stick. They would be able to avoid the expense of buying the infant seat entirely and would get a much better seat for their smaller cars (I don't think an Aton 2 is in budget for them -- I could be wrong). In exchange they would get only one year off from the use of a convertible that they were going to end up buying anyway.

But I can see it both ways -- particularly if they intend to use a convertible for FF (which I don't -- I assume we'll move to a combination seat at some point).

I think we will end up offering and just see what they say. I really want tall parents to have a positive experience with RF seats from the start. I have another friend whose infant seat experience made her "commit" to the idea of turning her son FF as soon as possible, whereas our infant seat experience only solidified our trust that RF little ones made for a comfortable experience for the whole family. I want that for our friends.

I won't be offended if they don't take us up on it, though. I can understand how they might want the experience of choosing their own seat.
 

Nedra

Car-Seat.org Ambassador
Oh! And thank you to everyone for the replies! They have given me a lot to think about and discuss with DH before deciding what to do!
 

Pixelated

Moderator - CPST Instructor
If your husband is worried about a better convertible being out, there could easily be a better infant seat out when your next is born as well.

I'd just sell them the infant seat and use the money towards buying the convertible I needed. Then when next babe comes, buy the next, greatest infant seat which is the money you'd be spending anyway once returning the convertible to your friends.

I don't lend anything I expect back or expect back in the same condition it was lent in. Setting all these rules and wanting to be part of the convertible choice because you're using it, is just setting yourself up for animosity amongst friend all over a convoluted car seat swap.
:yeahthatlove: exactly :)
 

CMeMeC

New member
Wow. I can not imagine buying someone else's kid new clothes so my kids could have hand-me-downs. I honestly think the idea of someone buying and ylu using first, whether it is a car seat or clothes, is really selfish. I accept hand-me downs and I give hand-me-downs, but the buyer gets their use out of them first.
 

Nedra

Car-Seat.org Ambassador
Wow. I can not imagine buying someone else's kid new clothes so my kids could have hand-me-downs. I honestly think the idea of someone buying and ylu using first, whether it is a car seat or clothes, is really selfish. I accept hand-me downs and I give hand-me-downs, but the buyer gets their use out of them first.
Just so I'm clear, we've never asked for this before. It's not an expectation, but it just happens and we're all okay with it. Maybe it's a cultural thing, but this is just something that we do in order to all save money. If my daughter were the younger one, then I'd be buying stuff for my sister to use first and then get as hand-me-downs. (Which IS what I do with another one of my friends, whose son is a few months older than my daughter -- I buy cute clothes new for her son and she cycles them back to me when she's done using them. ) My sister gets to benefit from every piece of clothing that we've bought for my daughter and, in exchange, she buys some clothes that SHE likes in larger sizes so that my daughter can use them first. This isn't something I've asked her to do, it's just what she does because she prefers to limit waste and it doesn't really matter to us who gets the "new" clothes since they only get a few months of use anyway.

I don't consider any of it selfish. This is just what we do in order to take care of each other.

If our friends don't feel the same way about the carseat, though, then I would totally understand. I can see all of your points, but we would feel weird not offering.
 

cookie123

New member
That's all a bit weird in my universe. But to each their own. I can see that it's a normal thing for you to do, so I'd probably - if I were you - let them use my infant seat if you felt they'd take good care of it. It sounds like you must know how they take care of their stuff by now! Especially if it were my sister.

Also, for them, a back up seat may not even be used at all and Nedra likely takes good care of her seats, so it probably wouldn't be feel like getting back a used seat.
 

Nedra

Car-Seat.org Ambassador
That's all a bit weird in my universe. But to each their own. I can see that it's a normal thing for you to do, so I'd probably - if I were you - let them use my infant seat if you felt they'd take good care of it. It sounds like you must know how they take care of their stuff by now! Especially if it were my sister.

Also, for them, a back up seat may not even be used at all and Nedra likely takes good care of her seats, so it probably wouldn't be feel like getting back a used seat.
Yeah, I don't think the seat would feel "used" at all. I think the biggest concern would be the fact that they'd lose a year on the life of the seat. This is a really good point and one that I would make sure they were aware of.
 

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