Help me figure this out, I am livid.

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VanIsleMommy

Guest
ds is 3.5, tall, and possibly on the spectrum for autism or some related disorder. right now we're dealing with some fantastic behavior issues. he has been pinching his sister in his car seat and screaming in her face every time he gets in the car and kicking her seat. i have them both as far apart as i can (both rf, him in radian her in myride) and today he started kicking her legs. i just heard this painful cry and saw him do it. that is so effing unfair, she is only 4 months old. i am livid. :mad:

i put his radian in the front seat ff with the seat as far back as it will go, temporary tethered as there are no tether anchors. this is temporary as im TELLING dh we are getting some 3 row vehicle no question. i need my babies safe.

unless there is some other option i'm not thinking of. please don't judge, i've had enough with this kid. keep in mind i originally learned about extended rear facing when i wanted to know if it was ok to turn him rf after her threw things at me in the car at about 2.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
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CTPDMom

Ambassador - CPS Technician
At 3 I am fine with ff'ing him. Does the spare Nautilus you have make it harder for him to reach her? I would try that.

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VanIsleMommy

Guest
Re: Help me figure this out, I am livid. car seat installs help off the record...

I had him in the nauti for a few days while we switched seats and cars around but he complained his legs hurt hanging off. and awful head slump. I can try him in the myride ff, and move her to a new seat.

actually.... i wonder if the wings around a true fit might be a good shield. :rolleyes:
 

CTPDMom

Ambassador - CPS Technician
VanIsleMommy said:
I had him in the nauti for a few days while we switched seats and cars around but he complained his legs hurt hanging off. and awful head slump. I can try him in the myride ff, and move her to a new seat.

actually.... i wonder if the wings around a true fit might be a good shield. :rolleyes:

My 7 yo doesn't complain about HIS legs being too long, so I wouldn't worry about that or get him a few pillows for his feet. I also wouldn't worry about head slump.

You don't need to buy any new seats it doesn't seem.

Sent from my iPod touch using Car-Seat.Org
 

canadiangie

New member
Re: Help me figure this out, I am livid. car seat installs help off the record...

Put him ff in the MR. No head slump, great leg support, high sides so he probably can't kick dd.
 

jourdysmom

CPST Instructor
Re: Help me figure this out, I am livid. car seat installs help off the record...

If all else fails....could you put a piece of cardboard against the baby's seat so he cant see/touch her? Like a barrier???
 

safeinthecar

Moderator - CPS Technician
Re: Help me figure this out, I am livid. car seat installs help off the record...

If he hates the Nauti you could put him in that and tell him you'll give him back his comfy seat when he promises not to hurt the baby or throw fits.
 

ketchupqueen

CPST and ketchup snob
Staff member
Re: Help me figure this out, I am livid. car seat installs help off the record...

If he hates the Nauti you could put him in that and tell him you'll give him back his comfy seat when he promises not to hurt the baby or throw fits.

I think this would be an excellent idea with a neurotypical kid, but as I recall the child in question is being evaluated for autism spectrum disorders because of persistant behavior issues and such? He may not have the ability to understand or keep such a promise...
 

christineka

New member
Re: Help me figure this out, I am livid. car seat installs help off the record...

Don't do the cardboard thing. It just adds one more thing to shove around. I'd try the myride and the nautilus and whatever else you have, but in the end, if radian up front works, I'd do that until you can get a 3rd row vehicle. I had a kid who beat up siblings while in the vehicle. Fortunately, I had 3 rows and could rearrange and discipline until I found something that worked.
 

Pixelated

Moderator - CPST Instructor
Re: Help me figure this out, I am livid. car seat installs help off the record...

Is there room for a 3rd seat in the middle? Maybe installing a 3rd seat in whatever orientation works will be enough of a barrier.
 

amyd

New member
canadiangie said:
Put him ff in the MR. No head slump, great leg support, high sides so he probably can't kick dd.

I'd do this. My DS1 sparkly heart LOVES the MR FFing. He's super sad that he's too tall for it now.
 
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VanIsleMommy

Guest
Re: Help me figure this out, I am livid. car seat installs help off the record...

I love the idea of taking his comfy seat away until he can behave, but this is a kid who will headbutt you in the face during a fit if you get a basket instead of a shopping cart at the grocery store. :(

I'm going to play with the seats today, if I can manage to get 3 in the back somehow with one to block him it might work.

really, we need a third row.:thumbsdown:
 

lovemybabies924

New member
VanIsleMommy said:
I love the idea of taking his comfy seat away until he can behave, but this is a kid who will headbutt you in the face during a fit if you get a basket instead of a shopping cart at the grocery store. :(

I'm going to play with the seats today, if I can manage to get 3 in the back somehow with one to block him it might work.

really, we need a third row.:thumbsdown:

I hope u can figure it out! I had a similar problem, my autistic step son used to choke my baby so then my 2 year old started choking baby too in the car.. It was terrible, we didn't get to erf very long because I needed to see if he was breathing or not :/ now he's fine tho at 9 :) he only chokes the younger kids occasionally and not in the car lol
 

safeinthecar

Moderator - CPS Technician
VanIsleMommy said:
I love the idea of taking his comfy seat away until he can behave, but this is a kid who will headbutt you in the face during a fit if you get a basket instead of a shopping cart at the grocery store. :(

I'm going to play with the seats today, if I can manage to get 3 in the back somehow with one to block him it might work.

really, we need a third row.:thumbsdown:

It may take repeated repetitions to make it work, but I successfully used this method (only using a high chair vs a normal adult chair) with a child who had full on severe autism and zero verbal ability. It's worth a shot anyway. You could always put the Nauti in the front seat and his radian in the back so you could start each trip by giving him a chance to be good and then make the consequences immediate if he is violent.

Another idea is to buckle something he can't use as a weapon in the center seat to block him. Like cut a slit in a large couch cushion so you could run the belt through.
 
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VanIsleMommy

Guest
Re: Help me figure this out, I am livid. car seat installs help off the record...

i turned his radian ff in the back, he can't kick her because he's low and she's high. he can barely reach with hands so fingers crossed. the myride he was still able to reach with feet. I think that's a great idea to have to nauti in the front for emergencies. ha! the nauti chair... :p

we will be trying some behavior stuff too, we need to do something as he's still hurting the dog at home. and me, and baby... it's frustrating.
 

MaKoski

New member
Re: Help me figure this out, I am livid. car seat installs help off the record...

You could put an extra pair of pants on him that are too big...so that you can tie the legs together keeping him from kicking the baby.... we occasionally have to use this option with shirts for our dd with Fasd so she doesn't unbuckle lil sister. :)
 

stephpook

New member
OP, I was going to suggest leaving the baby in the MR and FF your son in the Radian as that's what we did when our 3.5 year old started kicking his baby sister. We had the same set-up - he was in a RF Radian and she was in a RF MR (except that they were sitting right next to each other). We turned him FF and moved his captains chair back into the outboard position to put space between them (I had the second row captains chairs in my Ody pushed together). He can't reach her to kick her anymore. Glad to see you've tried that and it's working. Hope it continues to be successful.
 

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