Hearing the siren song of forward facing...

whitneyg

New member
So, I decided to flip the RXT around in my car just to see how it would fit and how it would change our loading/unloading hassles and I left it like that for a few days for some short rides around town. Holy moly was it so much easier for getting the kids in and out and my girl seemed so much happier being FF since she could see out the front window. I flipped the seat back to RF last night because every time I looked back at her I felt so guilty that I was flipping her out of convenience instead of waiting until she is 4 or outgrows the RXT RF (which may never happen for her, she is tall but skinny). I am preparing for preschooler armageddon when she sees that she is RF again this afternoon when we go out.

Since it will take her forever to get to 45 lbs (she is 31 now at 3 yrs, 2.5 m), when can I FF without guilt? Or will that ever happen? I want to make it to 4, but I loved how much better the loading and unloading was for the baby. She would crawl under the tunnel of his CCO, which she thought was awesome, and start on her buckles while I got him settled and buckled. That was a huge improvement over trying to help her in while holding him and everyone ending in a meltdown almost every time.

Thoughts?
 

cupcakepirate11

New member
Rear facing to 3 is amazing! I would not feel guilty at all especially if it makes everyone happy and life easier.

I'm planning on turning my son at 3 and will not feel guilty whatsoever. A lot of members here rear face their kids till 5 or longer, probably teens if they could! (Kidding but I'm sure it would cut down on back seat driving)
 

MommyShannon

New member
My DD is a few months younger and a little smaller than yours. I'm aiming for 4 with 3 as my minimum to ever ff. Can you change their seats around so its still "new" and different? Why can't she crawl through the tunnel and then onto the seat next to hers and into hers rf? I agree you've done awesome getting to 3. Just some ideas.
 

Brianna

New member
J turned FF at 3 because he maxed out the RF height of his Triumph. If he still fit RF it in, he would stay that way until his 4th birthday.

If she learned how to crawl into her seat RF, would that be just as easy for you as FF?
 

Suzibeck

New member
You have done terrific! I understand how you feel though. My 4 yo 9 mo old is only 31# and she seems so tiny. I had planned to keep her rf until age 5 but I turned her a few months ago because I couldn't face another winter of putting boots on and off every time we got in and out of the van. At some point you just gotta do what you gotta do. I still felt a touch guilty when the roads were bad earlier this week. Ugh. But on the other hand I let her have her first booster ride a week and a half ago and I was fine with that.

If everyone is happy with her ff and you can top tether the seat, go for it.
 

MamaErin

New member
There is no way I would feel guilty turning a 3 yo but I am still unsure of even RF past 2 for my son so I think I am a rare exception on this site. Everyone I know IRL still turns their kids at 1, despite the new recs so I think just making it to 2 will be a big accomplishment for me, then we may reassess the situation. My family already thinks I am overprotective for keeping him RF past 1...when I told some of them that his doctor told us to they were like "doctors don't know everything" I just thought.. pfft, and you do?! lol.
 

MommyShannon

New member
There is no way I would feel guilty turning a 3 yo but I am still unsure of even RF past 2 for my son so I think I am a rare exception on this site. Everyone I know IRL still turns their kids at 1, despite the new recs so I think just making it to 2 will be a big accomplishment for me, then we may reassess the situation. My family already thinks I am overprotective for keeping him RF past 1...when I told some of them that his doctor told us to they were like "doctors don't know everything" pfft, and you do?! lol.
Make them watch Joel's story or any crash tests and I bet they will think differently! I FF my older 2 at 1. Now that I've seen the videos and read info, I cannot imagine turning my little 2 year old.
 

Persimmon

Active member
If your child outgrows his/her seat that is one thing but for convenience? That is a tough call. I guess I would base it on how inconvenient it is. A frazzled driver is not the best driver.

Have you read the British Medical Journal article recommending rear facing until 4? I case you haven't, I will include the quote from it that convinced me to continue RF my melon-headed son when he outgrew his seat RF at 3. The bolding is mine.

"...One study conducted 31 frontal crash tests with 12 month, 18 month, and 3 year old dummies restrained in both US and European rear facing and forward facing seats.[8] All rear facing seats resulted in significantly lower injury measures for neck and chest compared with the forward facing seats; the European rear facing seats had the lowest injury risk.[8] Another study conducted numerical simulations comparing a 3 year old dummy restrained in both forward facing and rear facing seats.[11] It found that upper neck forces and neck injury criteria could be greatly reduced by using a seat that was rear facing. The conclusion encouraged manufacturers to develop rear facing seats suitable for children up to 4 years of age."
 

StillThankful

New member
Same thing here! I decided to turn my RNXTSL around to see if I could get a decent install. Well, I made a short trip w/ DD1 FFing and I started to hear the "FF song" as well. We made it until 3y11m until I turned her.

I sold my RNXTSL so I only had 40# RF seats left; therefore, I had to turn DD2 at 3y9m due to weight--she fluctuates b/t 38 and 40 so I just decided to turn her.

If you have any concerns of turning her then do it at a later time--maybe you can make it to the summer? Someone suggested for me (regarding my first story) to hang a stuffed animal for DD1 to enjoy while Rfing. It worked.

For me, I am at peace with turning my DDs eventhough I didn't Rfing either girl until 4. I always ask God to protect us traveling anyways.
 

mrosehughes

New member
I am right there with you. DS outgrew the CA RFing a few months ago by height and weight (he is *not* tiny, by any stretch) so has been FFing in DH's car for a few months. Every time we went somewhere he freaked out that he wanted to go in daddy's car (which was particularly fun during pickup from daycare, since DH works half an hour in the opposite direction from daycare, and thus never does pickup). So last weekend I caved and installed the CA in my car to clean the radian, and I can't believe how much easier this week's commutes have been. My goal was four, but I have a big kid and was resigned that we weren't going to make it to four anyways (which is probably true); I am still trying to convince myself that RFing for a few more months is worth the fight I will have with DS once I put the radian back in.
 

KaysKidz

Senior Community Member
I flipped my DD FF a couple months before she turned 3. A week ago, at 3yrs 5mo, she's back rf'ing and not complaining. No one says you can't do the car seat shuffle while you get used to the idea of her being FF. And no one says she'll pitch a fit about being rf'ing. Mine didn't. :)
 

Brigala

Well-known member
I am starting to wonder whether I'll RF my daughter past 3, even if I can (which I'm unsure of; she's a big girl even for her 45 lb limit Radians). Right now, I have to lift her into the car seats; she will NOT climb in on her own, not for love nor money. If I tell her to, she plants her butt firmly into the seat next to the car seat and asks me to "buckle" her there. *sigh* Last time I weighed her was a couple months ago and she was 35.7 lbs (at 28 months) and I think she's grown since then. She is a very fast-growing toddler. My back is starting to hate me for continuing to RF. Assuming she doesn't get too tall, we'll definitely make it to 3. After that, I'm just not sure what to do. I want to RF to 4, but unless I buy a Swedish seat that probably isn't happening, so how far past 3 is it worth it?

I wonder whether she'd climb into a Swedish seat voluntarily. Then again, I have huge behavioral issues with her trying to get out of her straps, so I am not sure she could handle a chest-clip-less seat at this point. She might be able to with a little more maturity and verbal reasoning skills, but not yet.
 

zactayaus

New member
It's awesome that you made it RF past 3yo! Yay!

My original goal with my last kiddo was to RF to 2yo, but when he turned two and he just looked so super comfy RF and had never once complained. So I figured why mess with a good thing. I then upped my goal to 3yo. Shortly before he turned three RF became a nightmare. He wanted to sit like big brother and would fight me every single time we got in the car. So as soon as he turned 3 I flipped him in my car. Life was good. Fast forward to 8 months later (so last month) we were do for some bad weather. I got feeling guilty and figured I'd see if he still fit in his RXT RF and he did! Then the challenge. He'd been FF for 8 months straight. How on earth was I going to get him to agree to this. Luckily I have a huge vehicle with lots of open seats. I installed a seat FF as well and gave him the option as to which seat he could seat in. The first few times he picked the FF seat (which was installed in the 3rd row), but then big brother didn't want to sit in the 3rd row. DS3 wanted desperately to sit next to big bro and his only option was then the RXT RF in the 2nd row. So he hopped in himself and waited to be buckled.:eek: Then the most amazing thing happened. When we got to our destination he said to me "that was fun!". He loved it! For the past month both seats have been in the car and he has chosen the RF seat all but maybe 3 or 4 times and we are in the car a ton!:D

So do what you need for now and reevaluate later. Does the guilt ever go away...well it gets easier.:eek:
 

whitneyg

New member
OP here-

Thanks to all of you for your personal stories, words of wisdom, and gentle or not so gentle nudges about continuing to RF. I really appreciate it since my husband has no opinion either way and my mom (in whose car my girl is FF as my mom wouldn't consider RF for a 3 year old in her 2 door car) has been giving me grief about RF for over a year. She is sure it is dangerous for her legs and that she must be so uncomfortable. My girl never complained about being RF until she had a few FF rides and had something to compare it to.

I like the idea of keeping the tunnel for her to crawl into, but because our car is tiny and my husband is huge (6'6" and needs to have his seat all the way back) having the CCO center and the RN outboard passenger is the only way they will fit if they are both RF. If she is FF, the RN can go center or behind the driver and the CCO can go in the center or behind the passenger. The other issue right now is that the baby needs to be in the center so he can have a buddy (me) sit with him on longer drives since he is a full-on car hater and screams if the ride is longer than about 5-10 minutes (no fun at all).

So, on to the re-RF attempt today. Boy, are children surprising sometimes! I decided to get a little step stool to keep in the car to make climbing in easier and more novel and I got a second mirror so she and her brother can each have their own. Magically, she was excited about it! "Oh fun, my own mirror..I love that!" Climbing in and out took forever but I planned for that and it wasn't a problem. Onwards to 4 years old we go!

Thanks again for all of your sage advice in favor of FF and RF. I am glad to have knowledgeable people to turn to.
 

Lenae

New member
So, I decided to flip the RXT around in my car just to see how it would fit and how it would change our loading/unloading hassles and I left it like that for a few days for some short rides around town. Holy moly was it so much easier for getting the kids in and out and my girl seemed so much happier being FF since she could see out the front window. I flipped the seat back to RF last night because every time I looked back at her I felt so guilty that I was flipping her out of convenience instead of waiting until she is 4 or outgrows the RXT RF (which may never happen for her, she is tall but skinny). I am preparing for preschooler armageddon when she sees that she is RF again this afternoon when we go out.

Since it will take her forever to get to 45 lbs (she is 31 now at 3 yrs, 2.5 m), when can I FF without guilt? Or will that ever happen? I want to make it to 4, but I loved how much better the loading and unloading was for the baby. She would crawl under the tunnel of his CCO, which she thought was awesome, and start on her buckles while I got him settled and buckled. That was a huge improvement over trying to help her in while holding him and everyone ending in a meltdown almost every time.

Thoughts?
I basically could have written this.

I played musical seats three days ago with my DDs RXT in my moms car (RF) and I put my CA FF in my car for my nephew to have a sleepover with my son. Sassy has been riding in the CA for three days now, FF. It is just plain easier. But I will be turning her back RF. I know how much safer it is, and I really want to make it to at least 4 with her. I turned Colton at 3 years 3 months, and Sassy is close to that age, so I know I just need to push through this phase.
 

Persimmon

Active member
Wow! Sounds like you figured out a great solution. Congratulations.

OP here-
Thanks to all of you for your personal stories, words of wisdom, and gentle or not so gentle nudges about continuing to RF.
Yeah, that not so gentle nudge would be mine. Upon re-reading my post it sounds much more harsh than I intended. Sorry. :(

The siren call I am hearing right now is a military academy for teenage boys.
 

whitneyg

New member
Wow! Sounds like you figured out a great solution. Congratulations.



Yeah, that not so gentle nudge would be mine. Upon re-reading my post it sounds much more harsh than I intended. Sorry. :(

The siren call I am hearing right now is a military academy for teenage boys.
I appreciated it. Sometimes a kick in the pants is what I need to be reminded to stick to my guns.
 

snoopygirl

New member
I'm still a newbie at this site but your message really cracked me up. I turned my daughter around at 3 because she is gigantic and it was HELL explaining to her best friend why she had to stay RF for another year at first then I actually showed the girls something which worked for them. We took the smaller girl and put her FF and put my daughter RF in the seats and (can't believe I am admitting this) drove down the driveway slamming the brakes and hitting the gas. Then we reversed it. Both girls agreed that RF was actually more comfortable. The clincher was showing them how they could have a conversation face to face when facing the opposite way. Looking back, I wish I had bought a Swedish seat but now that we are 43lbs, 43" tall and almost 4 there's no turning back literally or otherwise for us.

That old Radian picture is amazing! Wish that seat fit in my tiny car!
 

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