Vent DS is 3! pressure to turn FF , again

[onegirly]

DS is 3yrs 40in tall & aprox 37-40lbs & 15inch torso
We have him riding in RXTs rear facing in my car, hubby's car and our spare RXT for anyone else's car

It seems whenever DS has a birthday the topic is... When are we going to switch him FF!
I keep hearing the comments from family, friends and even some people we don't know well! It is really getting to me I planned on RF till 2yrs but that came and went because honestly there was no reason I saw to turn him FF. He was safe, he looked like he was comfortable and he had plenty of room.
Today I would say he is still comfortable but it takes a few minutes for us to find his seated position and get buckled in. His legs are longer of course and yes he bends them usually. I think when people see this, that is when the comments of "Awwe..He just wants to stretch those legs" or "How long are you going to make him sit like that!" I usually spill off the "I would rather have broken legs than a broken neck" and tell them his seat has limits that go beyond his height and weight. But now I'm just tired of feeling like it is just weird that he is ERF!

I honestly don't know if these people are annoyed with seeing him ERF or if they just want the extra space in the passenger seat! I mean come on that is really the only "bonus" I can see by turning him FF. Maybe there is something I'm just not understanding??? There will come a day when he will need to be FF, when that day is I don't know exactly. I guess I just needed to spill it.

 

[YouAreTheFocus]

I totally feel your pain and annoyance!! My DS is 3.5 and still RF, so we have been hearing the same types of comments FOREVER. Only good thing is we live far from our family, so we only have to hear it from then 1-2x a yr. But we get it from friends & classmates, too!

Recently my BIL came to visit, he brought it up (honestly just in an inquisitive/curious kind of way), and we gave him the spiel. He was instantly understanding, but mentioned MIL brings it up all.the.time to other people. Like, "I don't know why they still have him sitting that way--I don't know ANYONE else who has done that." So apparently she is bad mouthing our RFing behind our backs. I just don't get why other ppl care so much about our car seat use??

 

[MorgieBear'sMama]

Sigh... I've been hearing it since my boys turned 1 and they will RF to a minimum of 3.

I get that most people don't understand ERF.. What bothers me is that the same people wouldn't say a word if it was a 3 year old in a booster.

 

[Persimmon]

Ugh. Same story as pp's. I just try to lump it in the with the unsolicited comments about co-sleeping, breast feeding or bottle feeding, SAM or working outside the home, etc. You know, people are always going to have something to say about how you are raising your kid. It's a pain. When it comes to ERF, I tend to get particularly uncomfortable because I feel like I am saying that they are not being as safe with their kid because they flipped them at 1. And they aren't, and there is no getting around it when I explain why I ERF. And sometimes I wonder if that is why some people make comments about keeping him like a baby, etc. Maybe it makes them uncomfortable about their decisions.

 

[Wreckgoddess]

I think it DOES make some parents feel uncomfortable. I have heard all sorts of people making fun of or questioning my decision to ERF my now 3.5 yr old.
It gets old. I know.
People hate when other parents "show them up" so to speak. This happens with breastfeeding too i have seen. If they only breastfed til 3 weeks, and you breastfeed til 18 months or longer... Expect for them to eyeroll you or say things to beat you down to make themselves feel better. Even though its just something you are doing for your childs health and safety.. It threatens them sort of. They try to justify out loud that their way is/was fine.

Hang in there. You are doing a great job. And cheers to you for keeping that baby RF!

 

[Carrie_R]

My nanny fam is totally okay with me keeping G RF, but I mentioned recently that I had changed his seat. His Mom asked, "Oh, did you turn him the other way?" I had not, and my reply to her -said with zero snark - was, "No, he hasn't complained about RF and I can't see any reason to arbitrarily make him LESS safe..." She agreed, but it was a good, non-arguable answer. It doesn't make sense to make a content kid less safe "just because."

 

[bella_1818]

I can relate. DS turned at about 4.5 when he neared the 40lb weight limit for his ERF seat. We got lots of flack from MIL, who thankfully lives 14 hours away.

BIL is only 9 months older than DS, and went into a BB at 2.5
She was ticketed for having him in it and bought a harnessed seat that she stopped using at 3 years and 40lbs because "he looked 4." He is now 6.5 and rides in a seatbelt because it's legal in her state.

 

[Pepse]

My ydd will be 3 in May and I get asked all the time. My answered those who I have explained erf to many of time "it's the only way I can fit 3 seats" and we are not buying a new vehicle lol

 

[rosey2007]

It drives my ex MIL crazy that I still rear facing my 2.5 year old. She always trying to tell me that he will love being able to see things and whatnot. Then I tell her that he can still see things out the window rear facing. IMO I didn't spend so much money on these special seats for nothing. Ive decided that I will turn my kiddo at 3 and for the most part feel okay with that.

 

[tiggercat]

Once we got past about 2yo, people stopped asking. I guess they assumed I was nuts and just let it go

Sam is 3.5 and I haven't found a reason to turn him yet. I thought he was going to outgrow his RXT a while back but his torso has stayed the same and he is finally growing legs

I would absolutely not turn FF because of peer pressure. Actually, it would probably make me dig my heels in and rearface until kindergarten, bwhaha.

Sent from my iPod touch using Car-Seat.Org

 

[Mugsmom]

People hate when other parents "show them up" so to speak. This happens with breastfeeding too i have seen. If they only breastfed til 3 weeks, and you breastfeed til 18 months or longer... Expect for them to eyeroll you or say things to beat you down to make themselves feel better. Even though its just something you are doing for your childs health and safety.. It threatens them sort of. They try to justify out loud that their way is/was fine.

I think this may just be the way you phrased it, but this is a terrible generalization, and rather insulting to formula feeders. Maybe you just mean you've seen a couple formula feeding parents do this? I think most formula feeding parents are confident enough in their choices that they don't feel you're "showing them up", and need to "make themselves feel better".