Question Defunct car seat brands

[henrietta]

I get what you're saying. I hear you. We all do. Trust me, we all do!

It's just that many of us have been here 5, 7, or more years...some even since the beginning. I've been reading along here since the boards were brand spanking new, even though I didn't join till...IDK...2007 maybe...and we've all had these moments where we wish desperately that everyone got it, that everyone did best practice, where it was all perfect and pretty.

And then we had to step back to real life...and talk to our best friend who's baby daughter is screaming to the point of vomiting, even on 5 minute trips to the store, her mother is crying constantly b/c she can't even leave the house to pick up a few groceries or see another human being, b/c she's calling you on the phone from the side of the Interstate b/c she's now gotten out of the car *right there* so she can nurse the baby back to a semi state of calm and is trying to get up the nerve to complete the 2 hour drive to see her sick grandfather (or get you to meet her and go with her, so she can sit in the back with the baby)...and then baby turns 1 and in a moment of desperation, she turns her around, car seat correctly used and installed, and baby is a smidge better...your friend still has to reach back behind her and hold her daughter's hand on every trip, her shoulder is coming apart, but she can feel human again...and you realize that it's not all black and white.

Sure, that story is really extreme...but it's the story of my best friend and her daughter...who is just a very anxious kid and always has been...and who has major sensitive tummy issues. It's things like this that make you realize that there are cases where, honestly, for the most part, everyone's just doing the best they can. Sure, there are loads of crappy parents who sure could be doing better! Definitely!! But there are so many different situations that call for different solutions. We have to be able to live our lives.

Welcome here! I really hope that you will stay and learn along with the rest of us.

 

[henrietta]

I think we've all been here at one point or another when we just started out. It's like your eyes are open for the first time and you really start to see all the wrongs of CPS and wonder why no one else cares. Heh, I'm on the other side now--totally jaded--but if no one cared, nothing would get done. But one thing we've all learned through time is to place ourselves in the shoes of the recipient we're addressing.

I think this really is a good point...or several good points.

 

[jennzee]

Yeah...totally didn't get that from the 5 seconds I watched.

How do people watch an entire video? I checked them out thinking they'd be short little clips....no. 15+ minutes for every video. Who has time for that?

 

[CMeMeC]

How do people watch an entire video? I checked them out thinking they'd be short little clips....no. 15+ minutes for every video. Who has time for that?

No joke. And it's 15 minutes of nonsense not even worth watching if you had the time.

 

[safeinthecar]

I apologize. I thought Craytards was a combination of Cray-cray and retard, as in, "the crazy retards that are always posting blogs showing poorly restrained children". I had no idea of the context.

 

[Carrie_R]

It's a reasonable assumption, Kimberly. I was offended by the name, too, until my friend who follows the family explained it had something to do with a unitard (or something.)

I agree that it's frustrating to see all of the crazy-improper use out there! Being in the real world helps a LOT with calming your nerves and learning to temper your expectations. I found cso in May of '09 and learned EVERYTHING I could, bought harnessed seats (which I couldn't really afford) for all of my daycare kids - some of whom were as old as 7 - and the MyRide literally the day the store got it for my 38lb 2y3m charge. I got certified in May of '10 and remember praying before my very first check that I wouldn't have anything roll in that caused me to compromise my ideals. (I didn't.)

In the five years since, I've mellowed a lot. A big part of it is that for the last 18 months, I've worked part-time in a program setting, so I am dealing with a clientele for whom *proper* restraint is sometimes a huge step up. The day we had a family roll in to a check with three boys - 18mos, in a FF infant bucket, 3y in a bucket with broken handle used as a booster, 5y in a bucket with the handle behind him used as a booster - it really hit home. Yep, the 3yo left in a HBB, but he left with a chance. When he rolled in, a good crash outcome would have been a near impossibility. And that was before I worked in the program setting.

It doesn't mean my ideals have disappeared. In my car, we RF to 4 or beyond. I harness to booster maturity and use a HBB far beyond the minimums. Considering I came into my advocate experience with 35lb 3.5yos using backless boosters (1y/30lb minimum) it's a huge difference. And when I teach, I preach a minimum of 2y for FF, and encourage parents, "Don't turn at age 2 just because," sharing that we go to four in my own car. When I do my review at the end of class, and I ask parents how long kiddo should RF, I'm always pleasantly surprised at the end how many say age 4. I would say that 97% of my under-twos leave RF. Some of my over-twos choose to leave RF. Almost all of my under-5s leave in a harness. I also get parents coming into my program doing things "better than average," because they've gotten info from a friend who went through our program.

Slow and steady DOES work. Around town, a RF convertible is a normal sight. Nautiluses with headrests in the first setting are the exception, not the norm. I'm lucky to live in a community with a reasonably good passenger safety program, and I can't help but wonder if that contributes. It doesn't mean things are perfect, and I see cringe-worthy restraint use on a regular basis. But I also know a number of people IRL who have RF'd past the second birthday - without my influence.

Education-based systems have great potential. The key, really, is finding more funding to spread education and awareness efforts.