Well I talked to someone today... first I was told that was totally normal for the seat to stick that far. THEN I was told (AFTER I told her I was a tech, which was also included in my email) that I wasn't using it correctly and didn't have the straps tight enough and that's why he was flopping. When I told her that I am *quite* aware of how to correctly use a car seat, and that I know that this is NOT normal, I was told that it's out of warranty and they won't replace it, but if I send it back and give them $125 I can have a MA. No thanks, I can already get a MA for $125, not that I want another one, and I'm not interested.
I'll just keep this for a spare or sell it to someone for whom it will work. It's fine FF and a bit higher RF, just really bad now and for the next inch or so.