I am SO mad!!!

My daughter went to a birthday party tonight, and a good friend of ours offered to give her a ride home.
In the past I have let my DD ride with them...but never again!
I always thought that these friends were pretty safety conscious, as they have their two kids (ages 6 and 9) still in boosters, and everytime my DD has ridden with them, they ask for her booster as well. Plus, they are very 'conservative' drivers. So I thought it was okay......

Well, tonight they pulled up in our driveway with both of their children in their boosters, and MY DD was DOUBLE BELTED with another child in the back seat!!!!

I was SO freaking MAD!
I said, "Are they SHARING a seatbelt? That is NOT safe!" and the dad gave me the "...it was only for a short distance..." excuse.
I turned to my DD and I said 'Why didn't you call me if you knew there weren't enough seatbelts?" and then I stormed into the house....I know I embarrassed her in front of her friends, but I just couldn't believe they were THAT stupid!

These are really good friends of ours, and I don't want to strain our friendship (further) so how can I 'make nice' while stressing that my kid will NEVER ride with them again!?

Ooh. That's a tough one.

Do you think the dad HONESTLY thought it would be okay since it was "only a short distance?" Maybe the family needs some gentle reminders that accidents often happen in those "short distances" in which we ride.

I'm not sure how to go about doing that though.

Hopefully someone will have some good advice.

Oh yeah, definitely a tough one for me to give advice on. I'm really good at "making nice" for the most part, but when it comes to something like this, I just lay it all out there, pretty bluntly, when it comes to people who KNOW better.

Oooh, I'd be *pissed*!

I agree with being blunt about it. Even if you don't ever, ever intend to let her ride with them again. That is just unacceptable. If she hangs out with them a lot, there are going to be other times they are going to have to make judgement calls. They need to know, when it comes to something like that, they either need to do what you would do or call you to make sure of what you would do.

Nice that their own children were safe and sound.

Just me, because I hate confrontation & tension like that, but I'd probably try to at least apologize for getting angry (without saying I was overreacting or anything-- just admitting regret that I didn't behave with utmost calm, KWIM?), but let them know how disappointed I was to realize I couldn't trust their decision-making as I had though I could.

I'm not sure if I would say "never" as far as riding with them again, as they are close friends, but definitely set some boundaries that for YOUR child, they need to follow YOUR rules, even in their own car. No second guessing.

I'd probably talk to them first and then, based on their reaction, make a decision. Some people just don't get it until they're told about it. The optimist in me thinks this: since it was such a short distance (though we all know that's honestly not a good reason) they just went ahead and put their two into their regular seats and then put the other two in together. They meant no harm and honestly didn't think it would bother you, either. Now, best case scenario, you bring it up to them and tell them how important it is to you that your child be as safe as possible in the car at all times, and they are understanding and apologetic and take responsibility for their actions. In that case, I'd feel comfortable letting my child ride in the car with them again, reminding them that if there is any problem to please call me. If they're all defensive, then I'd never let my kid ride with them again.
We had a similar situation with MIL. She was at McD's with my SIL, they had my two oldest and SIL's two. Mine were 4 and 5.5, SILs were 4 and 9. They'd driven in seperate cars. MIL decided to take all 4 kids back to her house, but didn't want to switch any seats. She put my 4yo nephew into Aaric's booster and put Aaric in her 3rd row with no booster. As if that in itself weren't bad enough, she didn't check to ensure that he'd buckled and he wasn't buckled up at all. He couldnt' get it in. And even if he had gotten it, she probably would have instructed him to put it behind his back like my 9 yo nephew does. When we found out the next week (after we'd gotten back home to NC) we were livid and dh confronted her about it. She was a bit defensive and tried to say she had no other choice, but he at least got through to her that our children were ALWAYS to be in some form of child restraint until at least 8 yrs old, and that if there's a problem and she can't accomodate that, then she is to call us. We would have gladly driven the 10 min to meet her at McD's to give her our other booster. She understood, and we do now trust that she would not do that again. Though now, every time we're down there and leave the kids with her at all, I go ahead and either confirm that she is not planning on going anywhere with them, or go ahead and install their seats into her car and remind her that they must be used properly.
So anyway, if you talk to them and feel comfortable that they won't make the same mistake again, I wouldn't rule them out forever.