Need Opinions

carseatcurious

New member
Hi everyone,

I'm looking for opinions on what to do about this situation:

I saw some pics recently of a friend's kids in their car (we know each other well, but don't stay in touch often). In the pictures, the kids (ages from about 6-12) are all asleep, and they are all leaning off to the sides, all out of their shoulder belts (the oldest is definitely not in a booster, I can't tell about the middle-aged one), and the little one in the middle (about 6 years old) is in a backless booster with a LAP BELT ONLY!!!!

So, questions:

- Do I say something to her?? I've asked a couple of close people what they think I should do, and they both said that they thought it was none of my business and that it would possibly be taken as judging her parenting, and may end our friendship. But I can't help but think how unsafe those kids are... Is there a way to provide her with the information she needs without telling her directly that she is putting her kids at risk?

- Also, what do people do about older kids who no longer fit the height/weight requirements for a booster (like the 12 year old), but can't stay positioned in their belts when they are asleep?

Thanks in advance for any thoughts/suggestions!
 
ADS

aisraeltax

New member
i will just give you my opinion based on my experiences over the last few years (since i really got into car seat safety).

are you on facebook? is she? posting stuff on my FB is how i get a lot of info. to friends...BUT i have had friends respond and tell me not to look in their cars (implication....they are not going to practice safest practice and dont want to hear about it).

the 12 year old sounds like my son. he has an Olie Clek but doesnt want to use it. at 12, i have decided to gently encourage but not force the issue. He made it 11 years in a car seat...he's not perfectly positioned and i would prefer he be in his booster, but right now he's resisting and i don't see going back.

the only one i would prob. say anything about is the 6 year old in the backless booster. you may want to check her state laws and see if there is a law in place...usually 6 is old enough though. I don't know...with that one, it woudl be harder for me, but in the long run, its a parental decision if she isnt violating a law. Not the best parental decision, but there are a lot of parental decisions that I don't agree with a lot of times....doesn't mean I can change them, kwim?

good luck!
 

disbugsmomma

New member
I would check the laws of the state she's in and see if there is a proper use clause. If so, it is technically illegal for the 6yo to ride that way because all boosters say to not use with a lap belt only. As for getting the info to her, I don't really know. I try to post stuff on facebook and have sent a few messages to some of my friends.
 

vonfirmath

New member
I have something explicitly to my sister (ANd we have a great relationship) about my nephew being in a lap-belt only position (And they have other places available) and she just told me to mind my own business, basically.

Do what you need to do to feel good about yourself, but don't be surprised if she blows you off.

Think also about what you would do if she said the same thing to you. Take something you do that you believe to be perfectly safe but someone else may feel they have more information than you do and suggest otherwise. How would you react?
 

carseatcoach

Carseat Crankypants
Think also about what you would do if she said the same thing to you. Take something you do that you believe to be perfectly safe but someone else may feel they have more information than you do and suggest otherwise. How would you react?

Absolutely. We all assess risks differently. Since this is car-seat.org, most of us -- including me! -- feel very strongly about a child in a booster with a lap belt.

But I know I'd be pretty upset, and not very inclined to listen, if another parent slammed me for allowing my daughter to use the Internet (heavily filtered), or eating one Happy Meal a week (apples and water, not fries and soda) between tae kwon do and swim team, or going to the restroom by herself in some public places, or other things that I recognize may not be absolutely perfect but which I have decided to do anyhow.

Most parents love their kids and want what's best for them. Approaching advice-giving from that perspective usually helps parents learn.
 

Raegansmom4

New member
I'd maybe just approach the "unsafest" of the kids - the 6 yo in the lap-only belt. I'd just inform her that boosters cannot be used w/ lap-only belts.
 

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