Any baby sleep experts?

My great little sleeper has taken a nose dive! My 2.5 month old has gone from sleeping a 5 hour stretch and two 3 hour stretches to waking constantly all night long. I am talking every 10-30 minutes. My older two children were horrible, terrible sleepers until their 2nd birthday, and I don't want a repeat experience. When she wakes and it isn't time for her to nurse, I don't know what to do to help her go back to sleep quickly. Any pearls of wisdom from BTDT parents?
Thanks!
Brooke

Why not try nursing her every time? She may be having a growth spurt and needs to nurse often, and if she's hungry she may not sleep well.

Wendy

I agree with Wendy - sounds like a growth spurt to me.

If she's waking - it likely *is* time for her to nurse. Or maybe she needs a diaper change (my oldest DS couldn't tolerate ANY moisture in his diaper or he was wide awake), or she's too cold, frightened, lonely - you name it.

Good luck. DS1 woke every 30-45 minutes until he was almost 2. It was exhausting !

That seems to be about the age my DS began to "startle" himself awake, and I think his flailing appendages would scare him. We found that swaddling him in a receiving blanket nice and snug, or even in the Kiddopotamus SwaddleMe did wonders for him sleeping longer. It kept his appendages under tight wrap, so even if he did startle, his arms and legs could not flail around.

Also, could she have gas? My little man had horrible, horrible gas pains for the first few months. However, that was mainly because he was a preemie and his digestive tract was still immature.

She is not a comfort nurser, unlike my other two. If when I offer, she will not nurse unless she is hungry, generally every 2.5 to 3 hours. She will occasionally cluster feed in the evenings, but not often. This seems to be just the beginning of night wakings without reason, or rather her inability to go through a light phase of the sleep cycle without fully waking. I am reading the No Cry Sleep Solution, for the third time, hopefully I'll find something helpful. With my other two, I lived on 2 hours total sleep a night for months (years really) and I just didn't leave the house because I was not safe to drive. Now that I have a 4 year old in preschool, this is just not an option. I HAVE to sleep to take care of my older children.


Edited to add, I have a Miracle blanket for swaddling, which I do at night and naps, but she can get out of it with a little work. BTW, she still cat naps in 10-20 minute intervals as well. My other two had established a nap pattern by this age.

Thanks ladies!

It sounds like a growth spurt to me too, considering the age. But growth spurts only last a few days at most...

I'm not an expert...but my favorite sleep expert wrote a book, lol! I LOVE (love, really love!) Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It has sleep helps and advice for newborns all the way through school age. I bought it when my dd was 6 months old and I was desparate. She was sleeping only 8 hours a night and waking every hour or two to nurse (and that was co-sleeping. She wouldn't sleep AT ALL without me) and then only take a 1/2 hour nap during the day. She was so exhausted and I was so exhausted. I bought the book and within a week, she was sleeping 12 hours a night only waking twice to nurse and taking two 2-hour naps during the day. Finally sleeping like a baby! I recommend the book to everyone and everyone I know who has read it likes it almost as much as I do. I still consult it for my 4 1/2yo and 2yo at times. My kids both go to bed at 6:30pm and wake up between 7am-8am and the 2yo takes a 1.5-2 hour nap during the day, so I figure I must be doing something right!

Alicia,

Did you do the CIO that Weisbuth reccomends? (I've read the book.
(I have actually read just about every sleep book out there.) While I found his basic sleep info really good, I am very, very against CIO. How did you get her to extend her naps?
Thanks!
Brooke

Charlie slept through the night from birth until about 2.5 months. Then he was up every hour, every night, until almost a year old. He didn't sleep through the night again until after a year. He still wakes about twice a night.
So, not helpful, but just letting you know you're not totally alone! Try to nurse her a bit more. Do you cosleep? Would you be willing to try?
I am totally against CIO and we have never done it. Charlie just got into his groove on his own. At only 2.5 months, I really wouldn't do anything at this point but deal with the situation at hand. Don't look too far into the future at this point!

do you co-sleep? i HAD to for a while with ds2-he was like you are describing from day one!! that was the only way i got sleep. i have a co-sleeper that i use as more of a siderail. makes me far more comfrtable. i have a couple of blankets or a chux under him to protect my bed and have them over the edge of the bed into the co-sleeper so if he goes over he won't get anything stuck. i know what they say about co-sleeping, but there is a reason that it was called "crib death" there are actually far FEWER instances of SIDS among responsible co-sleepers then children in a crib.

also, are there foods that you are eating that s/he is reacting to? i think this was the case with my second in retrospect. might be a cause.

We sleep in the same room. She starts off the night in her crib, then moves into bed with me at her first nursing. Before she started waking so much, that looked liked crib from 8 ish to 1:00 ish, then in bed with me until morning.

I always find sleep deprivatio difficult, but have always managed. I cannot manage with two older children at home. I am actually looking at all day every day prek for them if I can't get this stopped. I can't be a good or safe (i.e. driving) parent when I am getting 1-3 hours of sleep a night.

I wouldn't let a 2.5mo CIO either...but he does recommend other things to help an infant that age. I survived infant-hood by co-sleeping and dont regret it...but it was a lot harder with dd to break the habit than it was with ds. He was cake.

For nighttime sleep, I did use CIO (this was at 6 months). I was very against CIO with my first before age 1 and for the first 6 months with dd. Then I read the book and he completely changed my opinion of CIO. So, yes, I did use it. It's a good thing I did, honestly...my dd is very tempermental and if there is any change she gets thrown off. Even now at 2.5 if I go in to her she will continue to wake and cry. If I don't go, she will sleep and is much happier. I think he has some non-CIO methods---he just explains that they don't work as quickly, but they do work eventually. I loaned my book out, so I can't check!

To extend naps, I rushed in there if I heard her start to stir or cry and tried to soothe her back to sleep before she fully woke. It didn't always work, but sometimes it did. Once she was well rested and was sleeping well at night, she just automatically extended her naps.

Definately try co-sleeping. Joyjoy would not sleep alone (at all!) from birth. But she'll sleep for hours as long as she had a warm body next to her. (Granted, for the first 3-4 mos that did have to be me about 80% of the time, but she is and always has been a huge comfort nurser.)

There have been 3 reasons my kids have woken like that:
1) Growth spurt.
2) Too cold. My babies will NOT leave blankets on, so heavy PJs are a must.
3) Food allergies. One of Nadia's main symptoms is stomach pain, nd she did not sleep much at all until we got her FA's figured out (and she still slept a lot less than either of her siblings, even after that).

Nadia also liked to comfort nurse, but I had so much milk that she couldn't do that without getting milk, which made her rather grumpy. She's my only child who used a pacifier, and she actually gave it up on her own before her first birthday.

Oh, wait! I just thought of one other thing: Needing to pee. My friend's baby was even worse about this than Nadia. Basically, they need to pee, which wakes them up, but they really want to sleep, so they don't pee, and then the discomfort wakes them up again a little while later.

I ditto fab reviews for Marc Weissbluths book. I give it to every new mom I give a baby gift to and strongly believe that it is very insightful and even handed and also offers options for people who do not want to let them cry it out. I also suggest the kiddopotamus swaddler like Alicia does. I didn't let them cry it out until they were older (6mo) and then they only did it for a few nights, but I think that not running in immediately every time has it's benefits. Sometimes I would go in and lay my hands on them and say it's ok, but not pick them up. At some point they need to learn how to put themselves back to sleep for their own good sleep and for yours! Good Luck!!!

A few of mine were good sleepers in the newborn period, then switched to multiple night-wakings once things "settled in" (6-8 weeks, give or take). A couple of others were the opposite-- horribly turned around and confused for the first several weeks, then settled into "sleeping through the night" (which is technically only 5-6 hours at a stretch, anyway) for the next several months. Even then, by the time teething began (anywhere from 4 to 8 months with my babies-- no late teethers here ), those patterns were upset and night-waking resumed for the duration (usually around 2-2.5y).

I know it sounds like a "suck it up" answer, but my experience is that breastfed babies who are fed on cue by day, do better when they are also fed on cue by night. Babies who are held, cuddled, nursed, and "attachment-parented" by day, are happier and sleep better when they have those comforts and connections during the night as well. Of course there are babies who have naturally well-ordered sleep patterns, and all they need is a gentle nudge to settle into them. The books are all written about THOSE babies. (I only had *one* like that, BTW, out of six.) But, when we choose a particular parenting style that fits us, our babies, our families, well, it doesn't shut off at night. I'm quite certain I was a total zombie for 12 years running, one baby after the next. I really don't remember rightly, though, as my brain is still a bit fuzzy... LOL You *will* get through this period, though, I know that much. One of my favorite sayings WRT to parenting is, "This too, shall pass." It has proved itself countless times over the years! The issue du jour will be forgotten tomorrow and replaced, no doubt, with a new, even more pressing issue (or several)!

You know your baby best, though, and if it seems to you that there may be some underlying problem or issue-- colic/gas, earache, teething, illness, etc.-- of course you should look deeper into things to rule those things out. If you find a "nudging" method you feel comfortable with, try it out and see if consistent application will help. Almost *anything* will work, over time, if you repeat it consistently long enough!

One thing my babies taught me, was the importance of routines. I started out TOTALLY anti-scheduling and just let my whole life "go with the flow". That went fine for baby #1, even for a spell with babies #2 & #3, but eventually along came a baby who *needed* routine (not strict scheduling, just a predictable pattern to his day). I didn't recognize that until he was well into toddlerhood, unfortunately, but I did eventually catch on and learn to structure our lives a bit more predictably for his sake, at least. Little did I know we would all benefit! He's almost 8 now, and still is the only one of my children who stops what he's doing around 8-8:30pm, says, "I'm tired, Mama. Please come tuck me in." And he is done for the day. He just does better when his day runs by predictable routines. We all do better, in fact, but with him it's just more obvious when things are "off"...

Sorry, this is rambling all over the place! I just wanted to offer a bit of my experience as well. HTH!

My kids did that too. They didn't sleep when they were going through growth spurts or teething. I agree with others, feed her if she gets up. Karley is currently going through a growth spurt. She goes to bed at 8:00 and gets up around 1:30 and then again at 3:30. She doesn't even open her eyes. She just crys so I change her diaper, feed her and roll her back into the crib. She never fully wakes up. I tried to give her a smaller bottle and that totally didn't work. No sooner did I have her in the crib then she was back up and she was hungry. At least she doesn't get up and want to stay up. I am thankful for that! Good Luck!

Well, you may want to take my words with a grain of salt because Leila was never a napper & always slept 10-12 hours straight I'm never sure if that means *I* did something right or of it's just HER

Anyway, the bit of research which I'm incapable of quoting exactly let alone citing taught me that developmental changes (like teething or just growing in general as well as environmental differences from baby's expectations) can have a big impact on sleep, but also that so long as baby gets a total of 12 hours sleep within a 24 hour period then there is no risk to cognitive/physical or emotional development -- although, it can surely take a toll on the rest of the family!

Do you have a bedtime ritual and/or what is it?
Has diet changed?
Has routine changed in any way?
Have the visitors changed?
Is baby teething? (my SS was born with a tooth & SD was teething way early!)

I remember some research, too, indicating that a relatively neutral easily expectable/reliable routine during the daytime followed by a pretty active evening routine then a very soothing bedtime ritual always following the same pattern can help....

Beyond that I just have hugs & GOOD LUCK vibes!

BrookeSLP said:

We sleep in the same room. She starts off the night in her crib, then moves into bed with me at her first nursing. Before she started waking so much, that looked liked crib from 8 ish to 1:00 ish, then in bed with me until morning.

I always find sleep deprivatio difficult, but have always managed. I cannot manage with two older children at home. I am actually looking at all day every day prek for them if I can't get this stopped. I can't be a good or safe (i.e. driving) parent when I am getting 1-3 hours of sleep a night.

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I had Leila's crib attached to the side of my bed so I could easily roll her to breast & off again without disturbing anyone's sleep pattern & yet still allow for separate space with security....

BrookeSLP said:

...With my other two, I lived on 2 hours total sleep a night for months (years really) and I just didn't leave the house because I was not safe to drive. Now that I have a 4 year old in preschool, this is just not an option. I HAVE to sleep to take care of my older children.

Click to expand...

I was wondering if you could get your DH to help you more at night, since you're pretty sure that your DD doesn't wake up to eat. DH and I got into a routine immediately after DS was born where DH would watch the baby while I slept from 7pm 'til about 1am. DH would come and wake me up and then go to bed himself. He'd then get up between 6-7am to get ready to go to work. This was temporary because DS started sleeping from about 10pm 'til 4am around 4 months. Even now, DH is the one who gets up with DS in the middle of the night because DH functions well on minimal sleep and he can fall back to sleep at the drop of a hat.

I just wanted to suggest this, because I haven't seen it mentioned yet. It may or may not work for your family, but I thought I'd put it out there. I can't even imagine how sleep-deprived you must be!