People makes me SO angry!

SPJ&E

New member
It's been a while since I've dealt with plain ignorance...but good lord!

Someone posted on Joshua's birth board (April 2006) about FF and if it was okay to do it now because her daughter outgrew the infant seat...bla bla bla. I replied and said no it wasn't, that she could get a Cosco Scenera for only $40 at Wal-Mart and gave her the info and the link to the video with crash test footage. A few other people basically said the same. This comes this one that I want to CHOKE!!

"I'll be honest even though most the girls on here disagree with me, my daughter is 20pounds and she is in a front facing 5 point harness carseat. I am very comfrontable with it and she is too. You need to do what you are comfrontable with. Yes it is safer to keep the baby facing rear but if you feel confident that yuor baby is strong enough and you are comfrontable with it a front facing carseat is fine over 20pounds."

Which I replied to with this: "That is absolutely 100% NOT true. If you watch the video I linked her to and read the current information, you will see that rear-facing is extremely important. Just please watch the crash test footage and see the difference it makes on the child. http://youtube.com/watch?v=kRP7ynNI8mI"

And she says "Thank you for your concern but I'm very confident in the way I have decided to travel with my child and not really interested. That's your opinion just as it is my opinion that it's fine. Since way before either of us had babys, people have turned the children around and they have been just fine. Notice I did say it is safer to keep them rear facing, I'm not saying that front facing is the safest, but each baby is an individual and so they each have different needs. I'll remember to add "in my opinion" for now when I give someone my opinion"

Give me a break! Not interested!? Why would you not be interested in keeping your baby safe...what is that!? I replied with this...I am so mad, lol:
"Like I said, that's your choice. I can just say that I've done the research and I know for a fact my boys are safest rear-facing...they deserve the best and that's what I'll give them.

Sure people have turned baby's around since whenever and most of them turned out fine. I don't find that to be a valid argument with anything. Some kids are abused and turn out fine...some people do drugs around their kids and they turn out fine...that doesn't make it okay. They do crash tests and improve carseats and recommendations for a reason. If the reports and crash test footage show, very clearly, that it makes an enormous difference on the child, I don't see why on earth anyone wouldn't want to keep their child as safe as they can."

It's a lost cause and I know that...but geez!
 
ADS

scatterbunny

New member
:(

Maybe if it's against the law she'd not do it? All the seats I know say the child must be a year old AND 20 pounds, right in the manual and on the side of the seat. If she's in a state that mandates proper use, she's breaking the law.

What about posting the link to the Baby Bargains board with the pics showing a 1yo's and a 6yo's spine development, and how a 1yo's spine is held together with cartilage, it is not fused yet?
 

Jeanum

Admin - CPS Technician Emeritus
Staff member
You can lead a horse to water but.... ugh, you're not merely stating an opinion, you're presenting factual information. It's not a matter of strength or what the mom is comfortable doing, it's a matter of spinal development and physics for heaven's sake. The photos illustrating spinal development on BB might help convince other moms if you're willing to continue the discussion on the birth board, even if this particular mom can't be swayed. Here's the link: http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=13&topic_id=44503&mode=full&page=

An 8 month old forward facing is a nightmarishly unwarranted risk to that child's well being and potential crash survival, not something for the baby's parent to be comfortable about at all. :eek:
 

Yoshi

New member
Well, a lot of people get extra defensive when they KNOW they are wrong. They just dig their heels in- even when it comes to safety. I have to say that with pediatricians not even being up-to-date on their own guidelines and recommendations, it's no wonder people just follow the crowd and do what they "feel is best for them".

I am the type of person that when told that I am doing something unsafe- I listen- big time, that is just my personality- especially when it comes to my child. But some people just don't think very deeply about any of this.

I must confess that I turned DD at 14 months/22 lbs because thats the info I was given in 2004. (From many sources, I might add) But now, there is no excuse not to "know better".
 

SPJ&E

New member
I've posted every link I've got and her statement was "I'm not interested"...I can't make her look. I don't understand why on earth a PARENT who cares about their child would act that way and not take 3 minutes of their time to watch a video and SEE the difference. I just don't get it. I feel sick...literally sick!
 

Ali

New member
Sad and scary isn't it. I forwarded the crash test videos to friends last year who have DD's younger than mine. They all got mad at me for scaring the living daylights out of them. They said it was horrifying to watch.

One of them turned her DD FF at 1 year because I was the only one she know who still had DD RF after 1 year.

The other 2 have DD's who are under 1. One I know will keep her DD RF to the limits of her DC. The other we're still trying to convince to get a higher weight limit harnessing seat and RF as long as possible.
 

SPJ&E

New member
That one is still going. I let it die at the beginning of the second post and didn't say anything else to her...the last thing I said was "Well that's fine, she's your daughter and her life is in your hands". I don't think that's rude...anyway, not another word to her after that. I responded to other questions people had on the same post, no other problems.

Then someone starts attacking me, saying that as a nurse, she thinks parents think too much about safety nowadays...WHAT!? Good grief!

But anyway, the one that was arguing with me in the first place had to come back now, after some people defended me, and say that she was very offended by what I said and that I didn't let it go, bla bla bla...I did let it go, what is she talking about!?

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Okay I'm done...had to get that out and be the bigger person and not argue with her again. I WON'T apologize for anything I said. Yes I was harsh...absolutely...when someone has their 8 month old FF and is telling someone else that's okay, I will be harsh. I was not rude in any way, I told only the truth...it's not my fault some people don't like the truth. I will not apologize and I think that's what she expects...well I'D RATHER EAT DIRT!!! :D
 

Victorious4

Senior Community Member
Spinal development, crash dynamics & internal decapitation are OPPINIONS? Ugh, excuse me while I vomit....

Ya know, even when I could not get a convertible carseat to install correctly & prematurely turned Leila FF thanks to the Ped's ignorant "advice" I do admit that I defended it as the best I could do at the time given my resources, but appreciated someone finally sending me a link here where I could actually learn more & therefore alter the situation for the safety of my child! *SIGH*
 

stayinhomewithmy6

Senior Community Member
I hate reading stories like this. It gives me a headache just hearing about it! That poor baby. And what an ignorant mom - you gave her all the information and shared all of the FACTS with her and she still chose not to listen, and even got very defensive about it. You were stating FACTS, she was sharing her OPINION! Sam & Pacey, I'm sorry you had this kind of experience. Doesn't it suck when you're just trying to help and parents get like that?!
 

Simplysomething

New member
It's been a while since I've dealt with plain ignorance...but good lord!

Someone posted on Joshua's birth board (April 2006) about FF and if it was okay to do it now because her daughter outgrew the infant seat...bla bla bla. I replied and said no it wasn't, that she could get a Cosco Scenera for only $40 at Wal-Mart and gave her the info and the link to the video with crash test footage. A few other people basically said the same. This comes this one that I want to CHOKE!!
[...]

And she says "Thank you for your concern but I'm very confident in the way I have decided to travel with my child and not really interested. That's your opinion just as it is my opinion that it's fine. Since way before either of us had babys, people have turned the children around and they have been just fine. Notice I did say it is safer to keep them rear facing, I'm not saying that front facing is the safest, but each baby is an individual and so they each have different needs. I'll remember to add "in my opinion" for now when I give someone my opinion" [...]


Tell her...YOUR opinion is backed up by fact, medical proof, the AAP, child passenger safety experts. Hers is backed by a stubborn mother.

Tell her it's not your opinion that babies aren't physically ready to forward face before they are at least 12 months and 20 lbs, it's a fact. A fact she doesn't agree with, but it's beyond mere opinion.

Depending on how *****y you want to be, tell her at least your opinion isn't dangerous. At least if you're in an accident you know that you've done everything possible to prevent injury or death. She hasn't. If her dear child ends up horribly injured or dead, she'll have to live with the "what if's". So, tell her, if she's comfortable with that, fine.

Then just ignore her from here on out--because she sounds like a dumbass.

K.
 

RubysGirl

New member
Tell her...YOUR opinion is backed up by fact, medical proof, the AAP, child passenger safety experts. Hers is backed by a stubborn mother.

Tell her it's not your opinion that babies aren't physically ready to forward face before they are at least 12 months and 20 lbs, it's a fact. A fact she doesn't agree with, but it's beyond mere opinion.

Depending on how *****y you want to be, tell her at least your opinion isn't dangerous. At least if you're in an accident you know that you've done everything possible to prevent injury or death. She hasn't. If her dear child ends up horribly injured or dead, she'll have to live with the "what if's". So, tell her, if she's comfortable with that, fine.

Then just ignore her from here on out--because she sounds like a dumbass.

K.

Have you been possessed by Splash?
 

mominabigtruck

New member
What I don't understand is why people feel like they have to turn their kids around so early? It's not like you don't still have to buckle them in. I can understand people who put their kids in bpb too early, I may not agree with it, but I understand it. They think its easier then buckling them in, but what's the difference ff and rfing?
 

Simplysomething

New member
Re: the nurse who thinks we worry too much about safety. I bet she's not a nurse that deals with the aftermath of car crashes. If she is an emergency room nurse, or one who works in a facility that rehabilitates young children who've been injured in car crashes, then maybe her opinion--"as a nurse" counts. Otherwise.. tell her so what.



I'm just saying. lol (OH! Next time she pulls the "I'm a nurse" card--- Pull out that one about going to the carseat tech for ear-infections? lol)


Grr. On one of my boards, there is a mother who is also a nurse. In an ER. She DOES deal with children who've been in horrible wrecks. You know what SHE does? She makes sure her boys are as safe as possible in her vehicle. She's NOT zealous about it, she's just diligent. She wants her boys to have the best chance in a crash.

Maybe in some areas we are over protective, but I'd say that we are finally beginning to be just barely protective when it comes to vehicle safety. Those things are DEADLY. You guys already know what I'm talking about and where I'm coming from--I'm just venting now.

Bah, some people just are stupid and stubborn.

(PS, not possessed, but wishing I had the guts splash has!)
K.
 
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SPJ&E

New member
Tell her...YOUR opinion is backed up by fact, medical proof, the AAP, child passenger safety experts. Hers is backed by a stubborn mother.

Tell her it's not your opinion that babies aren't physically ready to forward face before they are at least 12 months and 20 lbs, it's a fact. A fact she doesn't agree with, but it's beyond mere opinion.

Depending on how *****y you want to be, tell her at least your opinion isn't dangerous. At least if you're in an accident you know that you've done everything possible to prevent injury or death. She hasn't. If her dear child ends up horribly injured or dead, she'll have to live with the "what if's". So, tell her, if she's comfortable with that, fine.

Then just ignore her from here on out--because she sounds like a dumbass.

K.

That's what I told her and what a couple others said as well, but she really just doesn't care! The person that started it back up wasn't even from out board...have no idea who she was, but she said I was dominating the thread, lol...how do you dominate a thread when you just answer a question and provide people with correct information??? This was the nurse that said parents worried too much about safety...she said that she didn't like reading what I wrote or some crap, LOL (well don't read it)! One person responded with this...

"Sam is very knowledgeable about car seat safety and backs up what she says with websites and other info. If I had a car seat question, I would want to get info from her because she knows her stuff.

I don't think that her coming back to respond to other things that were said qualifies as dominating the thread.

I try to stay out of most conflicts, so my opinion may not even matter to most, but I wanted to say it anyway."

And then some other dummy (sorry, but these people make me angry) comes on there saying her 8-month old is FF too because her doctor said it's okay and did it with his kids and said that I should be PM'ing people. Excuse me...but I thought that's what forums were for...you make threads and discuss things...

So someone responded then with this...(when she says "stepped back and fixed it", she is referring to the fact that I gave up basically, lol...I just told her that it was her daughter and her life was in her hands...it's her choice to make, but my boys deserve the best and they will be as safe as they can be" and I left it alone)

"Sam and anyone else reading this thread -

As a person who always adds her two cents , I hope you continue to speak publicly about whatever it is you believe. I did think that you were a little harsh on Beth, but I also thought you were intelligent and fair in your responses to my response and other responses, and I have a lot of respect for that.

PM's play an important role in giving us an opportunity for private conversation, but I'm not certain that there is anything about this conversation that should be private. When to turn a child around in his or her car seat is an important topic, ripe for discussion (and, apparently, controversy - who knew? ). And discussion is how we learn.

I understand pp's urge to say keep the debate off of the boards, but I welcome the conversation about car seats. I am learning things, even if I disagree with some things that are said. And I think the debate has been fairly civil - and, well, where it almost wasn't, you stepped back and fixed it. Plus, I know you from reputation, and I knew when you were harsh that it was out of passion and not out of bad feeling, which makes a huge difference.

I know you won't stifle your passion just because some of us might disagree with some points that you make. But just in case, I wanted to remind you not to stifle that passion. It does make a difference."

So just bla bla bla. It makes me sometimes not even want to go back to that board...I seriously don't think anyone would notice I was gone, lol. I'm not "close" to any of them really, even though I've helped quite a few of them with carseat stuff. I think there was 3 people to defend me...and that just sucks because that post has about 700 views. I'm not responding to the post anymore...it's just pure stupidity and I'm not going to waste my time. I've provided the information and the links to back it up, as well as the crash test footage and they know that if they need any help, they are more than welcome to ask me...that's all I can do!

Thank you all for listening...well, reading...my crap today! I just need to tell somebody and I know you all share my passion and completely understand what I'm dealing with, so I thought this would be the best place!
 

Jeanum

Admin - CPS Technician Emeritus
Staff member
I totally understand, vent away. It's just amazing how defensive and vicious some folks get over gentle and factual safety advice. :( I was called a carseat nazi on another forum recently over something so trivial it was almost laughable, other than the gross misuse of the word nazi.
 

SPJ&E

New member
LOL, I really have a hard time believing how defensive people get. I am a really shy person and extremely open-minded and non-judgmental...carseats are the one thing I am not open-minded about and I don't feel right not saying anything when someone is saying it's perfectly safe to turn an 8 month old FF. I think they just can't stand to be wrong and that's why they don't want to look at the information...I really think that's it for some people...they would have to admit that they're wrong. Oh well! We're doing the right thing!
 

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