Am I OCD on the Issue?

Ever since I was clued in to the ERF, I've been a bit paranoid about Jo's safety in the car. I avoid sending him to the grandparents where he only has harnessed boosters to use, and they are not always 100% safe with his harnessing. I bought a MR to get him RFing to 40 pounds. We got rid of our lower-weight convertibles and replaced them with 35 pound ones, they were getting old anyway!
We turned every possible seat we could RFing.

I just weighed him and I think he hit the 35 pounds.
I can't be sure since our scale is a POS and gets a different weight every time.
He's big, however, so there is a good chance he is done with RFing.

I don't feel safe FFing him now. He's not even 2 and a half. I get those nightmares about him being in a crash. I feel responsible (I know this is irrational) that he is so heavy and cannot be safer in the car because of that.

I realize that the seat will not properly restrain him if he's too much over the RFing limit. It would be more dangerous for him to go over the limit.
I'm frustrated that I "learned" the correct thing to do, but cannot do it to protect my child. And then everyone else can boast how LONG there kid RF'ed, 'cause it is so much better for them. What if mine CAN'T?!.
I won't FF him simply because I want to see his face, or I think his legs are crumpled. (Why do people try to look at their child's face behind them while driving anyway?!)
Why can't the US just be smart like Sweden?
That's it! I'm moving!

Does anyone know how to smack some rationality into me?

If you have a MyRide, can't you leave him RF'ing longer?

An Aurora said:

If you have a MyRide, can't you leave him RF'ing longer?

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Her toddler rides in several cars. The MyRide is in his main ride.

Here's the deal. You do what you can. Your kid, even in a forward facing seat, is still very safe. Add in a top tether, and you've very nearly achieved CPS awesomeness.


After that, the other circumstances within your control are eliminating the risk factors that so often cause accidents. Don't drive drowsy. Don't drive after drinking or taking medication. Don't text while driving. Be alert and aware. Drive defensively.

I see; thank you for clarifying, 3B!

If you are OCD on the issue, so am I. Sofi is nearly 3, and I can't imagine turning her FF. Well, I can imagine it... I have taken pics of her in FF seats and she looks great..... but I just can't imagine driving with her that way. Sofi doesn't go in a car unless I have installed the seat, and I know they will buckle her properly.

Now you have 2 choices. Replace all 35 pound convertibles with My Rides, Radian, or Complete Airs. Or turn him FF in other cars, and leave him RF in his primary car. Well, then there's a 3rd option..... Trade off cars with whomever else would be driving him.

However, I agree with Maedze. You do the best you can, and drive defensively.

Well, unless anyone is looking to get rid of a CA, RN, or a MR for cheap, there is no way we can get one now. I spent two paychecks on the first MR.
This is an idea that has crossed my mind. The seats would be passed to baby eventually, anyway, making it twice as efficient. I have no clue how we will even afford baby's seat, which will HAVE to have more than one base.

When my father or stepmother take him, they loosen his harness up a LOT, no matter what I say to them about it or how much I can compromise. He can't just NOT go to see them, as I'm basically a single mom with 3 jobs and very limited daycare - they babysit. I ALWAYS install the seats. There have been only a number of occasions of which I can count on one hand where I was not the one to install the seat he rode in...and only with the people I trust doing it.

My parents also believe that I am the worst parent in the world for making him RF at this age. My mother tolerates the idea, I have not really heard her opinion on it. He spends a lot of car time with the MIL, and she is, thankfully, very receptive to all such safety practices and concerns.

I've heard someone else on here put ERF similar to this...
In the consideration of turning your child FF, ask yourself if you know you would blame only you for any injuries your child may get FF in an accident. ERF is also a comfort-level type of matter after a certain age. Getting to age 2 is the first goal.

i'll also ad, do something that's usually not mentioned on this board (why is that?): make sure your CAR is safe (a properly used carseat does not make a car its safest . so not only should you drive defensively, you should make sure your car's safety equipment is in tip-top shape. tires, brakes and lights should be in proper adjustment and road-worthy. safety isn't just carseats, ya know...

We just got to this point with DS. He has an XT in my car, but is in a BLVD in DH's and MAs in both grandma's cars. How I justify it is that he HAS to ride in the center to FF. In fact DH doesn't have a seat for DD in there right now since they won't fit side by side and I won't allow him not in the middle.

southpawboston said:

i'll also ad, do something that's usually not mentioned on this board (why is that?): make sure your CAR is safe (a properly used carseat does not make a car its safest . so not only should you drive defensively, you should make sure your car's safety equipment is in tip-top shape. tires, brakes and lights should be in proper adjustment and road-worthy. safety isn't just carseats, ya know...

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Absolutely. Carseats are a LAST line of defense.

The car we just replaced was not the safest. It was literally tin-foil, haha, one major factor in deciding to turn such a large kid RFing (before I new better he was FF at 11 months due to size consideration.)
The new car...just got the brakes done, has stability control, has brand new steel-belted tires, has LATCH and top tethers which the other car did not...
It will last us a long time with only 44K miles on it. It's also 8 years newer than my Sentra, making a lot of advances in safety.
It was a sad but sweet deal when the Sentra was totaled.

DH is a mechanic and my father has taught me a lot on cars, so the maintenance is always kept up.

I think if we were to go purchase more 40 pound carseats, which WOULD benefit us with another baby on the way and traveling in so many different cars, we would need to get MRs. Only because they are $100 cheaper than the other two options. Unless someone will sell me a used one REALLY cheap...not as likely (and needs to be someone I trust as well.)
We cannot fit a RFing MR into my mother's cars or my parent's cars. The driver's are just too tall, and so are the passengers. I think I'd just want to cover my vehicle, MIL's van, and DH's truck where he rides the most. Dh's truck, however is solid steel and over 5 tons. The only thing that could really hurt it would be an Amtrak train. I am totally comfortable with him FF in this vehicle.
Has anyone put a newborn into a MR yet? They fit well? We could purchase one more MR, somehow, use it RF for Jo until baby comes (he'll be weeks from 3 at this point) then use it for baby in MIL's van. Then we can have an infant seat with just two bases for my car and the truck...we were looking at 3 bases since Kevin is gone during the day with the truck.

That is still a ton of money, haha. DH might get an extra check soon...