shopping safety

Simplysomething · Dec 11, 2006

Do you guys ever feel extra vulerable when you're shopping with the kids? I do, when I go to strap in the baby, because I've got my butt out of the car, and my back turned to the world. I TRY to be aware, but I'm paranoid.

There have been a couple of times when I just felt that something was WRONG. (Location, time of day, just the whole...vibe?)KWIM? So, I get in the car, lock all the doors and climb over the seat to buckle him in. Which was probably stupid, but oh well.

I just wonder if anyone else ever had those feelings.

LuvBug · Dec 11, 2006

all the time! but I am a paranoid person anyway lol! Once a man tried to get in the car with my sister but luckily her door was locked, so especially at walmart I am

jen_nah · Dec 11, 2006

Yes, I went to local mall (not our normal mall) to a certain store to pick up some stuff that I had been hunting down for. It wasn't in the best area. While walking back out to our vehicle in the middle of the day a strange man started following me & the girls. I got to the car and put the girls in the back seat and told Kaylee to buckle her sister in. I throw the stroller in the trunk. This man would kept making a huge circle around my vehicle just stairing at us. I pulled out of this stores parking lot to the other side of the building to get Kaylee finished buckled up and to tighten Kinlee up. I wasn't going to risk this man trying to grab one of us. I never left the mall parking area just got to a safe place.

But, I have many time put the girls in and got in myself and locked the door. I either leaned over the seat and buckled them up or crawled over the seats. Thank goodness Kaylee is old enough and can harness herself now. I just have to tighten her straps up. But, I still have to do Kinlee's.

Tara · Dec 12, 2006

A time or two I haven't felt entirely comfortable in an area and have thrown everyone in, locked doors, and driven just a wee bit in the parking lot to a 'safe place' as everyone was buckling, stopped there to finish buckling.

There was nothing going on around me ... no suspicious men or anything like that ... just an uncomfy vibe. Too dark or something like that. So I drive to a better lit area. But that has only happened a time or two.
For the most part, I'm not *too* worried about things. I am ALWAYS looking all around me and my vehicle when I'm out. With or without the kids I do this. I park close to the stores, in well lit areas if it's night, walk with myself upright, head held high, alert, always looking and watching. Making eye contact with folks too, rather than turning away showing intimidation/weakness

I keep distance between me and others coming out of the store at the same time. Not allowing anyone too close to us as we get to our vehicle. If that means I make an excuse to pause, so be it. "Oh, come here sweetie, let me fix your jacket" or "here, you can ride in the cart this time" anything to pause and allow a few extra steps space.

Then we unload the vehicle and all get in. Any time it is dark out I lock the doors as soon as we get in. Even if it IS well lit.

I wonder sometimes if the sheer number of children I have with me would deter someone LOL Who wants to mess with a lady with 5 kids?
Not to say one wouldn't, I'm just 'sayin'.
We move quite quickly for such a herd too

hehe

Anywho..
I think it's good that you are conscious of such things. Don't let it consume you though. Just have a plan of action in your head of 'what if' that helps. Then just let it be, don't dwell on that.
Be safety minded, but not obsessed

Morganthe · Dec 12, 2006

Years ago and in another lifetime, I was a military cop stationed just outside the borders of SE Washington DC for almost 5 years. I went on to other assignments after that, but I learned that when a woman gets hunches or bad feelings, LISTEN TO THEM! Those instinctive feelings can save your life! Really bad things can happen when they're ignored. I won't go into any specific details, but it was a crucial learning experience for the sheltered 19 year old that I was.
Act confident and be aware of your surroundings even when you feel hunted. Then get out of the area as soon as you can.

Only open one door if you can or lock it as soon as you get in and put your baby into her carseat from the front if you're feeling really paranoid. Or, if you're at a mall or store area feeling as if someone is following you, go back inside and get someone to accompany you to your car. Customer service or security is very willing to NOT have crime happen on their property. 'Tis the season for opportunistic criminals too.

Use your best judgement and trust your instincts. They've been developed for generations to protect us.

be safe.

RubysGirl · Dec 12, 2006

I've never experienced this, but I also live in an area where it's not exactly an issue. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, I'm just saying there's no chance of being parked far away from the store at night so few people are there. I'm usually right up front under lamps, so I don't worry.

The thing that does make me stop and pause is that I always put DS in from the drivers side. I don't like it much downtown, but I just can't bend down from the sidewalk side and get him in. Not that the cars drive real fast, but still. LOL.

Jeanum · Dec 12, 2006

I'm always aware of my surroundings and don't like the vulnerable feeling of having my back turned while I'm buckling up the kids, but I'm not paralyzed by fear either. I do step up my awareness over the holidays, too. I usually climb into my van and close and lock the sliding door if the weather is cold or rainy, but in summer I usually leave it open while buckling them in, unless I'm in certain parts of town with certain vibes. The general area has a fairly low serious crime rate, but there's been an upswing over several years in street robberies and burglaries in the campus and downtown areas, often by repeat offenders or transients who know the student population can be easy pickings with unlocked doors, etc. and good panhandling opportunities. The county jail is so overcrowded that it may as well have a revolving door. I'm especially cautious when I go downtown to the library or to take DD to a preschool yoga class.

chaoticoctopus · Dec 12, 2006

Tara, I could have written your post! Funny, too, I was just thinking this earlier today after spending the past two days out with my two youngest, running errands and Christmas shopping. I don't think I was in any danger at any point, but I did start getting that "vibe" as it got dark-- here I am, my rear end sticking out the side door of the van, my purse tossed up in the front seat haphazardly just to get it out of my way and out of arm's reach for any would-be purse snatcher. Trying to get two little ones buckled in can take two or three full minutes, especially when one (or both) is being uncooperative! That's a long time to stand there with one's heiny in the air, vulnerable somehow to whoever/whatever is out there. Then there is the general un-lady-like-ness and awkwardness of it all.

It's especially hard when trying to manage not only buckling the children in, but also a cart full of groceries or shopping goodies. If I'm uncomfortable, sure, I can hop in the van, shut & lock the doors while I buckle in the girls, but then my stuff is unprotected out there! Of course the value of the goods pales in comparison to my childrens' safety, but nobody wants to make themselves a target for thieves, either.

It's actually a lot easier to manage when I've got the whole crew with me. Older kids help buckle in younger kids, and the middle two, who can buckle themselves without help, but can't necessarily be relied upon to buckle the youngest two perfectly, can help me unload the cart into the back of the van. Like Tara, though, I find myself wondering if having a bunch of children trailing behind me is a deterrent to any would-be victimizers. We draw attention to ourselves without any effort, on the best of outings! I can imagine that criminals know, or at least sense, that the eyes of the world (or mall) are already upon us; it would be hard to catch a moment when no one seemed to be looking.

Dillipop · Dec 13, 2006

I read somewhere that people with kids with them are a lot less likely to be victimized than those without. Maybe bad people have somewhat of a conscience?

skaterbabs · Dec 13, 2006

from what I understand, in prison people who hurt women and kids are really low on the prison "food chain" so to speak, and are often in danger themselves from other prisoners.

Plus, there is the whole "mama bear" issue - a smart criminal is not going to want to risk a soccer mom turning into Cujo on him.

Jeanum · Dec 13, 2006

My DH likes to joke that me in angry "mother bear mode" would be far more of a deterrent than him tagging along with us, and he's the size of an NFL linebacker (but a big softy, lol). I'm pretty strong but don't look physically intimidating either really. I've impressed a few random strangers in parking lots or stores by easily hoisting either of my kids in and out of shopping carts using only one of my arms. DH points out I have a very good "back off" glare if need be, but I'm rarely in a position where I feel the need to use it.

skaterbabs · Dec 13, 2006

LOL My dentist jokes that he wouldn't want to meet me in a dark alley because I could beat the you-know-what out of him (high pain tolerance lol). I doubt it (he's an ex-marine), but it's good for a laugh. lol

Jeanum · Dec 13, 2006

LOL, too funny.

stayinhomewithmy6 · Dec 13, 2006

I know what you mean, it is a scary feeling. I always put the kids in and get in the back of the van with them and lock the doors. Then I buckle them in and climb up through to the front. This is after I look under the van and any surrounding vehicles and even inside to make sure there isn't anyone hiding (even though the doors are always locked). I've always been a rather paranoid person, and I carry pepper spray on me, too, but its hard to have pepper spray ready in your hand when you have a bunch of kids with you. I have a story to share, though. (Please don't think I'm a terrible mom after you read it!)
I was shopping with my then 2 1/2 yr old and 11 month old and was about 8 months pregnant. We were at Target. I took my 2 yr old out of the car and walked around to the other side to get the baby out and realized 'OMG the doors are locked. I locked her in the car! OMG!' Total panic at that point. I don't own a cell phone, so I RAN into Target (big & pregnant & carrying my 2 yr old) to the Service Desk to use the phone, freaking out because I had to leave the baby alone in the car in a busy parking lot, thinking that someone would break in and kidnap her (it was the Xmas season, of course, so very busy). I called a locksmith and they said it would be about 20 minutes before they could get there, so I RAN back out to the parking lot and when I got to the car I realized 'OMG the door is NOT locked', and complete panic hit me once again. Even worse than locking her in the car, I had left her in the car alone in the parking lot with the door UNLOCKED and anyone could've reached right in and taken her!!! I was mortified and couldn't function for the rest of the day. We had to go straight home because I couldn't handle shopping after I had done something so horrible! I mean, if I saw a baby alone in a car in the parking lot, I would immediately call the police, wouldn't you?! I am still wondering if anyone did!

Jeanum · Dec 13, 2006

It can happen to anyone, and it doesn't make you a bad mom. I'm always worried my keys will fall out of my pocket without me noticing, just as I'm getting back out my van and closing the power slider to walk around to the front driver's door. I have to walk around after I buckle up my DDs because DD2's seat is in the second row center, and DD1's is in the third row, with the second row passenger seat tumbled or removed. I can't walk through to the front row from the back and have to go around outside the van.

The only time I ever locked my keys in the car was pre-kids, about 2 hours away from home at an outlet mall with my mom. I put the keys in the ignition to drive off, then we decided to check out one more store before leaving. We got out of the car, leaving my keys right there in the ignition with the doors locked. Oops. (Did I ever mention I'm a blonde? This was definitely one of my blonder moments, lol.) I had my purse in hand with a calling card and my AAA card (no cell phone, this was at least 10 years ago when cell phones were still pretty rare). I called AAA on a pay phone, and they sent a tow truck guy out who looked like an extra from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, lol, and about as talkative. I mean this guy was seriously creepy. I had to sign several waivers about possible damage before he attempted to get into my car, and then he quickly jimmied open the driver's door without damaging anything. I didn't ask him where he learned how to do that, lol. I've been motivated about keeping better track of my keys and not running into the likes of him again, especially now that I have kids.

BABYGIRLLYNDSEY · Dec 13, 2006

I TOTALLY agree with you guys on being cautious. The news is always filled with people being kidnapped, children being kidnapped in parking lots, unborn babies being solen from their mothers womb. The news is totally depressing. I always try to park close to the store, also near a light. Most of the larger stores have cameras. I am always cautious of who is around in the parking lot, especially when the children are with me.

We live in a super small town, one red light. We do have a Walmart, fairly new, on the outskirts of town and that is about it. We have to drive 36 miles one way to get to the closest mall and that mall is in another state. Crime can happen anywhere. My uncle was shot and killed in our small town on December 21, 1997 all because he started dating a woman and the woman's ex boyfriend got mad. Needless to say, the man is is prison for life, no parole. There had not been a murder in our town before this and has not happened since this. My uncle was a reputable member of the community and owned a large trucking company. Crime can happen to anyone, you never know.

It's sad, but we all have to keep an eye out for danger.

skaterbabs · Dec 13, 2006

When CJ was around Joyjoy's age, I was driving my IL's Toyota Previa one day and locked the keys in it with BOTH boys in it. We had just bought him a new combination booster with (*applause*) a PUZZLE-style chestclip (they'd just come out.) lol Well, he had always been a Houdini-baby, and so I told him it was OK for him to get out of his seat to unlock the door. He was abe to unbuckle the crotch buckle, and the seatbelt buckle, and unthread the seatbelt.....but he could NOT figure out the new chest clip! he ended up crawling over the front seats with the seat still attached to him like a turtle!

stayinhomewithmy6 · Dec 13, 2006

Oh Rebekah, that is a good one. I can just picture him with the seat still attached to his back! That must've been a workout for him!

I'm have always been known for locking my keys in my car and losing my keys in stores, etc.... I locked my oldest DS in the car when he was about 1, but I just called my DH, who had the extra set of keys, and luckily was only about 5 minutes away. DH has since made up a little song for me "Keys in the hand, then you shut the door" with a catchy little tune to help me remember! One day I was shopping at Kohl's and lost my keys THREE times! In one day! Each time I had to go to the Customer Service desk to see if they had been found. By the 3rd time, I was quite embarrassed!

skaterbabs · Dec 13, 2006

Yeah, I've been fortunate to have only done it a couple of times.

tjham · Dec 13, 2006

skaterbabscpst said:
He ended up crawling over the front seats with the seat still attached to him like a turtle!

******* ROTFL!

*******

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