Question A Parent Who Doesn't Know How?

Wiggles

New member
I was babysitting recently for a six month old. I, of course, took his carseat in case I had to transport him. He's in a cosco infant seat (can't remember the model, sorry, but I did check the DOM to make sure it wasn't expired). When it was time to pull his carseat base out of his mum's car, because I've never done an install on an infant seat without the base and didn't want to have to try it for the first time in an emergency, she says "Oh, you'll have to pull it so you know where it goes because I don't know how to install it."

Is this normal, for one parent not to have a clue how to install a car seat? If not, how might I convince her to learn how to install her son's seat? It kind of bothers me that she doesn't have a clue. From the way she was talking, she's never so much as looked at how the carseat installs. I mean, if you have 15 or 16 carseats, I can see one parent only knowing how to install the ones that are regularly used and perhaps 1 or 2 backup carseats, but is it normal and... I dunno... acceptable for one parent not to know how to install the only carseat they use for the child?
 
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WhatAboutPuppy

New member
I was babysitting recently for a six month old. I, of course, took his carseat in case I had to transport him. He's in a cosco infant seat (can't remember the model, sorry, but I did check the DOM to make sure it wasn't expired). When it was time to pull his carseat base out of his mum's car, because I've never done an install on an infant seat without the base and didn't want to have to try it for the first time in an emergency, she says "Oh, you'll have to pull it so you know where it goes because I don't know how to install it."

Is this normal, for one parent not to have a clue how to install a car seat? If not, how might I convince her to learn how to install her son's seat? It kind of bothers me that she doesn't have a clue. From the way she was talking, she's never so much as looked at how the carseat installs. I mean, if you have 15 or 16 carseats, I can see one parent only knowing how to install the ones that are regularly used and perhaps 1 or 2 backup carseats, but is it normal and... I dunno... acceptable for one parent not to know how to install the only carseat they use for the child?


It is "normal" but it's not acceptable! lol What if something happend... like, oh I don't know, this? And second parent wasn't there... yep! Not cool. :rolleyes:
 

NannyMom

Well-known member
My husband doesn't know how to install the seats. Though if he looked at it before he took it out, he could figure it out.
 

Wiggles

New member
She refused to even look at it as I was taking it out--and at that point, her son's father was quite ill and we weren't sure that he was coming with her to pick up this little guy. I don't know for sure, but maybe she thought I was going to re-install the carseat for her? It wasn't a hard install, but I know that if I had kids of my own, I wouldn't be comfortable with someone who wasn't either myself or my child's father installing the seat in my car. Maybe I'm just weird?
 

Lea_Ontario

Well-known member
My husband CLAIMS he doesn't know how - but the reality is more that he doesn't want to try alone and listen to me if he doesn't get it 100% right.
 

Austins-mama

New member
I can kind of understand one parent not know how to install an infant car seat base. I don't think my husband knew how to do it for the longest time because once the base was installed it never came out - just the seat. Don't get me wrong I'm not excusing it and believe me DH does know how to install all our seats now. If anyone else is ever taking our son either he or I has to install the seats.
 

niccig

New member
That's my friend. She has no idea and is resistant to learning. She did need to put the seat in one day and she and another mum friend, totally botched it up. It was RF using the FF belt path and the harness slot was at the top for a baby. I saw them later in the day and was talking to her as she was putting her son in his seat, and I told her it wasn't right, and I redid it for her.

Her DH isn't much better actually. I've fixed those installs as well. He had 2 carseats on the ONE latch anchor, had it RF with the FF foot upright etc. But lately my friend has said she wants me to show her how to do it, so maybe she is coming around.

Some people find it very intimidating. I know I did at first and I let DH do the infant seat install, then from another site I realised he did it WRONG, and he wouldn't listen to me about it. So I redid it and I've educated myself on seats. DH isn't game to touch them now...which is wrong, he needs to know how in case I'm not around.

I don't let anyone else install DS's seats. Actually, there is one friend who I would be comfortable doing it, her installs are always great. Most of my other friends...eek.
 

rochelle

New member
but is it normal and... I dunno... acceptable for one parent not to know how to install the only carseat they use for the child?

It is very normal as usually one parent install the infant car seat bases on both cars. Same reason as why alot of people have a convertible car seat per child installed in each parent car.

We only have one car, and only hubby has a driver's license. in the event that DH is too sick to drive, a friend would probably drive our car than un-install, re-install our car seats.
 

Wiggles

New member
I can understand why she'd be comfortable with me installing the carseat--I used to be a nanny for special needs kids and I did transport in my own vehicle. It just seems so odd to me that she wouldn't know! I know that, if I'm transporting a child, no one other than myself or the parents installs that seat so that I KNOW it's safe. I would probably make an exception if a tech offered to install for me, but yeah... I just can't understand this. I've been researching carseats for my future children for several months now, even though it's likely going to be a couple years before I have them. My reasoning is that that way I'll know common problems with seats and how/when they were fixed so that I get a feel for various companies' customer service. I can understand not wanting to go that far, but not knowing how to install the child's seat once you have an infant? And he's not their first child, either!
 

laccaycol

Active member
I know what you mean. My family and friends come to me to help them put in their seats, but no matter how much i tell them they still dont get it right. ok well one friend actually listens to me and she installs her seat as good as i do, and she came to me before her baby was born and its her first so i give her tons of credit for actually wanting to learn before her baby was born:thumbsup:
 

NannyMom

Well-known member
Well, considering the misuse rate, I wouldn't be surprised if 1 or both parents don't know how to install a carseat. I know my first nanny family, none of us did it right. Same with the 2nd. THe 3rd family knew enough to go find a tech. The 4th....only Dad sort of knew (though by then I'd learned a little, and knew it was FF in the wrong belt path), and my current family... until I came alone, didn't know how to install a carseat properly (and the kids were both over 4 by then).
 

Wiggles

New member
I guess I'll just have to let it go. It DOES seem weird to me, though. Both my parents knew how to do my little sister's seats properly.
 

elle7715

Member
My husband CLAIMS he doesn't know how - but the reality is more that he doesn't want to try alone and listen to me if he doesn't get it 100% right.
:yeahthat:
He once let my FIL install DD's seat because my FIL said he did it all the time for his wife's grandkids. It was ridiculously loose and DH got a verbal smackdown for it. DH at least knew it had to be tight and would have done a better job. He just wanted to pass the responsibility along to someone who said they knew what they were doing. :rolleyes:
 

mish

New member
I think it is so nice of you guys to help install seats for friends/family! I do want to say, however, be careful. There is a lot of liability that comes along with installing a car seat. That's why techs fill out forms and make parents sign them. I know these are friends and family and you are sure they won't sue you, you just never know. Be careful:)
 

swtgi1982

New member
yep my husband is the same way, he has no idea how to put ours in and does not care to learn, his excuse is, "that is my wifes area" LOL
 

BookMama

Senior Community Member
Is this normal, for one parent not to have a clue how to install a car seat?

Unfortunately, it's pretty normal for one (or both) parent to not have a clue how to install a car seat. Also unfortunately, they don't always acknowledge (or even realize) that they don't have a clue. :( Very few are as blatant about it as your friend is.
 

sparkyd

Active member
I would guess that only one parent (if that) knows how to install car seats properly in most homes. When you see how many are done wrong, it's hard to imagine otherwise.

While it is important that people realize that misuse is common so that they will make an extra effort to get it right and even get their install checked by a tech if possible, I actually think the fact that people are told all the time that most seats are installed incorrectly intimidates a lot of people and they are scared to even try. I know I was totally intimidated at first and there was no way anyone was ever going to uninstall my infant seat base once I had it in. I didn't start learning more and getting confident with installing until we switched to a convertible, and even then it took awhile.
 

Wiggles

New member
It just seems strange to me. But maybe that's because I got taught how to put in carseats by seating experts (they did everything from custom wheelchairs to the special needs carseats and had their training updated all the time) and they made it simple to understand. I guess it's better that one parent knows than neither. And his carseat IS in their car correctly. Which is good.
 

Mae

Well-known member
In the situation of my brother and his wife, only his wife knows how to install the SS1 base. They originally used the base with a lap only belt, so it was pretty self-explanitory. Then when their second child came along, both had to be moved outboard, therefore the SS1 required a lap/shoulder belt install. Dad apparently didn't know that you shouldn't lock the lap/shoulder belt since there are built in lock-offs. He STILL locks the seatbelt too. I go back and fix it every time I can because he keeps locking it. Some people just don't get it.
 

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