friend's 2 year old screaming in car seat..needs help

aisraeltax

New member
everyone is telling her to move him forward facing.

can anyone give her tips? she is house bound right now w/ her 2 yo b/c each time they get in the car he screams.

he was like this as a baby...then it got a little better, up to 1/2 an hour of travel...and lately he has gotten worse.

any advice pls?
 
ADS

stayinhomewithmy6

Senior Community Member
I would check the seat over thoroughly and make sure there isn't anything that is actually making him uncomfortable, like some bunched up padding or something hard poking at him. Every time I put him in the seat, I would be sure to smooth out his clothing so that it isn't bunched up. Is the seat at a 45* angle or is it more upright? If it's still very reclined, I would try making it more upright. Is she willing to let him eat in the car? A few cheerios and a sippy cup can make a huge difference, IME.
Honestly, I wouldn't let it keep me house bound. Sometimes kids scream in the car and we just have to live with it. Usually, it's just a matter of them not wanting to be restrained. So, I would rule out any underlying causes to make sure that he really is okay, try some distractions, and then I'd go on with my day. :twocents:
 

aisraeltax

New member
he's in a BV in a Subaru Outback. Her dh is in a Subaru Legacy with a True Fit
she does allow him to eat/drink in the car.
there doesnt seem to be obstructions that make the kid uncomfortable (excess padding, etc. etc.)
 

rochelle

New member
he was like this as a baby...then it got a little better, up to 1/2 an hour of travel...and lately he has gotten worse.

I have that problem even now with my 4yr old and it has nothing to do with the car seat.

my DS1 just refuse to go to the car if he was playing Legos, Thomas trains or his favorite TV show is on.

the TV show is easy as we just let him finish his 30mins pbskids show.

the hard part is the toys and we had to deal with him screaming for awhile
 

ctbcleveland

Well-known member
he's in a BV in a Subaru Outback. Her dh is in a Subaru Legacy with a True Fit
she does allow him to eat/drink in the car.
there doesnt seem to be obstructions that make the kid uncomfortable (excess padding, etc. etc.)

Does he have an equal issue with both seats? I've heard of some kids disliking the Blvd because of the headwings. If he does better in the TF, that could be the cause.

My DS does not like long trips either. He's two and we've taken less than ten car rides that were longer than a half hour. We also have someone sit in the back whenever there are 2 adults in the car.
 

momto2princes

New member
Check the obvious as stated by pper's is anything causing him pain, uncomfortable, straps, seat recline, etc.

It could be a phase. I would ride it out awhile and try to make sure the child doesn't see his behaviour getting to me or preventing me from getting on with my day. Being that he is 2 they can be famous for testing boundaries and pushing buttons.

Try removing the headrest of the seat so that his view isn't obstructed.

Last resort a dvd player or something to entertain him esp for longer trips when required.
 

tanyaandallie

Senior Community Member
My ds was like this. He hated the car seat. There was nothing poking him. It wasn't the seat as we moved him from the infant seat to a convertible and it did not help at all. It was not the angle of his seat, it was not a medical issue. He just hated the carseat. He would literally scream his head off in the car. It cause all of us a ton of stress. The few long trips we made were misery for all of us.

I know most people will say it does not help but turning him ff helped. He stopped screaming. He was still not the happiest car rider but he did settle down a ton when we turned him ff. We flipped him at 20 mos. Honestly, I just could not handle the screaming for one more second. My blood pressure felt like it was just sky rocketing every single time we got in the car. I would get anxious and stressed about getting in the car.

Anyways, he was ff for about a month and I decided to try flipping him back rf since he seemed to have finally settled down in the car. He went back rf no problem at all and stayed that way until he was 3. I don't know what it was that did the trick. I have no idea why after almost 2 years of screaming he stopped. But he finally did.
 

MomtoRyan

New member
Couple suggestions -

What seat is he in? Maybe we can suggest another one?

Check the crotch and/or hip straps. These adjust on some seats and people often only think to raise the shoulder straps.

Does she have a mirror?

This is the one I use along with others on this site. It attaches pretty securely.

http://www.target.com/Baby-Sight-Ba...ie=UTF8&node=16022041&frombrowse=1&rh=&page=1

He is in a Britax boulevard and has a mirror similar to yours but ti plays music and lights. He really isn't into it at all anymore.

I have that problem even now with my 4yr old and it has nothing to do with the car seat.

my DS1 just refuse to go to the car if he was playing Legos, Thomas trains or his favorite TV show is on.

the TV show is easy as we just let him finish his 30mins pbskids show.

the hard part is the toys and we had to deal with him screaming for awhile

How does he watch his shows? A portable dvd player? I am trying to figure it out since he is rear facing what to do.

Does he have an equal issue with both seats? I've heard of some kids disliking the Blvd because of the headwings. If he does better in the TF, that could be the cause.

My DS does not like long trips either. He's two and we've taken less than ten car rides that were longer than a half hour. We also have someone sit in the back whenever there are 2 adults in the car.

When ever we go somewhere with two people I ride in the back but it doesn't always help.

Check the obvious as stated by pper's is anything causing him pain, uncomfortable, straps, seat recline, etc.

It could be a phase. I would ride it out awhile and try to make sure the child doesn't see his behaviour getting to me or preventing me from getting on with my day. Being that he is 2 they can be famous for testing boundaries and pushing buttons.

Try removing the headrest of the seat so that his view isn't obstructed.

Last resort a dvd player or something to entertain him esp for longer trips when required.

I would be willing to do a dvd player but I am iffy on the whole projectile thing.

I saw the fisherprice kid tough dvd player but I am not sure if that is safe? Any opinions?
 

ctbcleveland

Well-known member
MomtoRyan - did you understand my questions about the headwings? Does he fuss as much when he's in dad's car in the true-fit?
 

MomE

New member
MomtoRyan - did you understand my questions about the headwings? Does he fuss as much when he's in dad's car in the true-fit?

My daughter actually fussed more in the True Fit. She couldn't see out the window, and I think that made her car sick. She also likes to be cuddled and snug like she was in her SS1. The True Fit was so massive inside! She just hated that thing!

But your point is well taken. Does one seat or the other seem to be worse? My daughter doesn't cry in her seat since I switched her to the Boulevard. She didn't cry in her SS1 either. But the True Fit was a cry fest.

She has always had occasional fits, but always for a reason other than the seat. Diaper rash, ear infections. She also screams like a banshee just before she falls asleep. She's done this since she was born. Once I figured that out, it was actually kinda of funny. I don't get it, but that's what she does!

Going forward facing is NOT an option for us. I am her mother. It is my responsibility to keep her safe. She is not able to do so herself. So she can fight or scream or do whatever she's going to do, but that car is not moving until she is buckled in rear facing. I'm the mom, I say so. Period. I've even refused to move the car between stores in a parking lot because my own mother wouldn't buckle up. Some things can be negotiated or let go. Car safety is not one of them.
 

MomE

New member
Do you think it's possible that you are doing too much? I ask because my daughter learns quickly what will get her attention. So I just let things go and don't fall all over her when she's having a fit that's not life threatening. If I give in, she knows she will throw a fit and get what she wants the next time. This is why I don't negotiate. If she cries, she cries. Obviously I try to make her as comfortable as possible. But if I've done everything and she's just throwing a fit.... Well, she can throw a fit. She has to just get used to the fact that she's going in her seat rear facing and that's that. In her life, she'll be in these situations time and time again. Sometimes she can get what she wants, and sometimes she can't. She'll have to deal.

Also, my coworker's daughter threw fits in her car seat. So my coworker didn't use a car seat AT ALL until her daughter was more than two (I was not aware of this)! She carried her or put her in a regular seat belt just to avoid the fits. :eek: My coworker one day was just too scared to not put her in her seat. So she put her in it, her daughter got so upset she puked, and then she's been in her seat ever since. I mean, I feel for the kid for being that upset. But she learned that it was just the way things were going to be.

I hate to sound mean or uncaring, but hopefully you get where I'm going with this. As parents we have to keep our children safe, and sometimes children aren't going to like it. And my daughter is well loved, loving, well adjusted, and happy.
 

MomtoRyan

New member
MomtoRyan - did you understand my questions about the headwings? Does he fuss as much when he's in dad's car in the true-fit?

Yes he cries the same in both. I actually just installed both car seats in my car right now to see the difference. I took pics and can load them if needed.

Going forward facing is NOT an option for us. I am her mother. It is my responsibility to keep her safe. She is not able to do so herself. So she can fight or scream or do whatever she's going to do, but that car is not moving until she is buckled in rear facing. I'm the mom, I say so. Period. I've even refused to move the car between stores in a parking lot because my own mother wouldn't buckle up. Some things can be negotiated or let go. Car safety is not one of them.

Couldn't agree more. There is no way I am forward facing him. I have bought 5 car seats so far to recitify this problem but I can't seem to get it right.

Do you think it's possible that you are doing too much? I ask because my daughter learns quickly what will get her attention. So I just let things go and don't fall all over her when she's having a fit that's not life threatening. If I give in, she knows she will throw a fit and get what she wants the next time. This is why I don't negotiate. If she cries, she cries. Obviously I try to make her as comfortable as possible. But if I've done everything and she's just throwing a fit.... Well, she can throw a fit. She has to just get used to the fact that she's going in her seat rear facing and that's that. In her life, she'll be in these situations time and time again. Sometimes she can get what she wants, and sometimes she can't. She'll have to deal.

Also, my coworker's daughter threw fits in her car seat. So my coworker didn't use a car seat AT ALL until her daughter was more than two (I was not aware of this)! She carried her or put her in a regular seat belt just to avoid the fits. :eek: My coworker one day was just too scared to not put her in her seat. So she put her in it, her daughter got so upset she puked, and then she's been in her seat ever since. I mean, I feel for the kid for being that upset. But she learned that it was just the way things were going to be.

I hate to sound mean or uncaring, but hopefully you get where I'm going with this. As parents we have to keep our children safe, and sometimes children aren't going to like it. And my daughter is well loved, loving, well adjusted, and happy.

Wow no car seat. You must have been shocked.

I do get your point though and yes it is my job to keep him safe which is why I am rearfacing him still and will continue to do so. He doesn't just cry for a few minutes and get over it. As my friend on here can say also my DS will cry the entire ride whether 10min or 3hours to Ikea. He has actually gotten so worked up that he has thrown up multiple times in one ride. I don't feel that he is manipulating me in any way. He has been this way since he was a newborn so I really think that there is something up, which is why we have gone thru so many car seats to find the right fit.

I am determined to keep him safe and happy. There has to be a way so I will keep on trudging on in search of one.
 

ctbcleveland

Well-known member
Ok - so my last piece of advice.

Are you over-tightening his harness? There is a link on here on how to do the pinch test. I highly suggest trying it.

I was definitely overdoing it. It was especially bad right at the time DS was about to move up to the next should strap slot. I was crunching his shoulders down excessively to get the straps super tight.

We have a function where you can search for a tech in your area. Maybe if someone sees your DS in person in his seat, they can figure something out we are all missing from your description.

Good for you for going to such lengths at keeping DS safe. To be honest, I might have given up with the multiple bouts of vomit on one trip.
 

MomE

New member
Couldn't agree more. There is no way I am forward facing him. I have bought 5 car seats so far to recitify this problem but I can't seem to get it right.

Wow no car seat. You must have been shocked.

I do get your point though and yes it is my job to keep him safe which is why I am rearfacing him still and will continue to do so. He doesn't just cry for a few minutes and get over it. As my friend on here can say also my DS will cry the entire ride whether 10min or 3hours to Ikea. He has actually gotten so worked up that he has thrown up multiple times in one ride. I don't feel that he is manipulating me in any way. He has been this way since he was a newborn so I really think that there is something up, which is why we have gone thru so many car seats to find the right fit.

I am determined to keep him safe and happy. There has to be a way so I will keep on trudging on in search of one.

Shocked to say the least! I was unaware that parents who knew better even did stuff like that. It was my first experience with something like that. Yes, very shocked!

And, Wow! 5 different seats and all the same?! I commend you for trying to that extent! So many would have given up!

Do you have any idea if maybe there's a medical reason for it? Like something that could be making your son uncomfortable. Even something as small as spitting up? My daughter has always been a big spitter and has a sensitive stomach. I think that may have gotten to her a few times.

What keeps your son happy outside the car seat? Any favorite toys or books or items? I have a small blanket, that I call my daughter's "car blanky." It is just like her big blanket I call her "nigh-nigh blanket" cuz she sleeps with it. She loves her blankets so much. The times when her bum as been bothering her and it's hard to get her in the seat, I give her her car blanky and she's instantly content. She's very, very, very attached to her blanket though. It works even in other situations (outside the car). Can you think of something like that which is safe to give your son in the carseat?

Just throwing out ideas....
 

MomtoRyan

New member
Ok - so my last piece of advice.

Are you over-tightening his harness? There is a link on here on how to do the pinch test. I highly suggest trying it.

I was definitely overdoing it. It was especially bad right at the time DS was about to move up to the next should strap slot. I was crunching his shoulders down excessively to get the straps super tight.

We have a function where you can search for a tech in your area. Maybe if someone sees your DS in person in his seat, they can figure something out we are all missing from your description.

Good for you for going to such lengths at keeping DS safe. To be honest, I might have given up with the multiple bouts of vomit on one trip.

You know maybe it is too tight.........blush. Where is that link?

Thanks

Shocked to say the least! I was unaware that parents who knew better even did stuff like that. It was my first experience with something like that. Yes, very shocked!

And, Wow! 5 different seats and all the same?! I commend you for trying to that extent! So many would have given up!

Do you have any idea if maybe there's a medical reason for it? Like something that could be making your son uncomfortable. Even something as small as spitting up? My daughter has always been a big spitter and has a sensitive stomach. I think that may have gotten to her a few times.

What keeps your son happy outside the car seat? Any favorite toys or books or items? I have a small blanket, that I call my daughter's "car blanky." It is just like her big blanket I call her "nigh-nigh blanket" cuz she sleeps with it. She loves her blankets so much. The times when her bum as been bothering her and it's hard to get her in the seat, I give her her car blanky and she's instantly content. She's very, very, very attached to her blanket though. It works even in other situations (outside the car). Can you think of something like that which is safe to give your son in the carseat?

Just throwing out ideas....

Thanks!! I have had him checked for GERD when he was younger and his father does get car sick still if not driving so that may be another hurdle.

As far as fav toys his fav are usually the noisy BIG toys that can't fit in the car, lol. He has never been really attached to any one thing other than me, lol. Maybe I should introduce one now. Is it too late?:confused:
 

rochelle

New member
.
my DS will cry the entire ride whether 10min or 3hours to Ikea. He has actually gotten so worked up that he has thrown up multiple times in one ride. I don't feel that he is manipulating me in any way. He has been this way since he was a newborn so I really think that there is something up, which is why we have gone thru so many car seats to find the right fit.

I am guilty of crying for hours until I throw up when I was a kid and my older son is that way too. It is our temperament :(

I have maracas and the large egg shakers for my boys to play in the car. they love to shake the maracas and egg shakers to the beat of toddler tunes CDs in the car.
(e.g. http://store.musictogether.com/shakers.php)
 

MomE

New member
Thanks!! I have had him checked for GERD when he was younger and his father does get car sick still if not driving so that may be another hurdle.

As far as fav toys his fav are usually the noisy BIG toys that can't fit in the car, lol. He has never been really attached to any one thing other than me, lol. Maybe I should introduce one now. Is it too late?:confused:

I have a sensitive stomach myself. I get sick if I can't see where the car is going (like I'm reading or behind a seat in the back and can't see). So I think that's where my daughter gets it....

Too late? You never know, I guess. I gave my daughter a Ty Pluffie duck as part of her Easter basket, and she's totally attached to that thing now.... But do you want to is the question.... :D Sometimes I wonder what would happen if Duck got lost! Oh my goodness! And I have 4 blankets for her (two for daycare to alternate, and two for home to alternate for washing or sickness or whatnot)..... She's also a pacifier girl now.... Ugh! She's attached to so many things! Myself and her dad included, she loves to 'nuggle!
 

MomtoRyan

New member
I am guilty of crying for hours until I throw up when I was a kid and my older son is that way too. It is our temperament :(

I have maracas and the large egg shakers for my boys to play in the car. they love to shake the maracas and egg shakers to the beat of toddler tunes CDs in the car.
(e.g. http://store.musictogether.com/shakers.php)

We love music together!! I have some shakers but he is not interested in them:(

I have a sensitive stomach myself. I get sick if I can't see where the car is going (like I'm reading or behind a seat in the back and can't see). So I think that's where my daughter gets it....

Too late? You never know, I guess. I gave my daughter a Ty Pluffie duck as part of her Easter basket, and she's totally attached to that thing now.... But do you want to is the question.... :D Sometimes I wonder what would happen if Duck got lost! Oh my goodness! And I have 4 blankets for her (two for daycare to alternate, and two for home to alternate for washing or sickness or whatnot)..... She's also a pacifier girl now.... Ugh! She's attached to so many things! Myself and her dad included, she loves to 'nuggle!

That is great that she is attached to something else though. Nights are hard here b/c nothing will do other than Mommy;)


Thank you!!

*********
Update. I adjusted the straps which were too tight, duh. Took the head rests off the seats and we had two trips today that were approx 25min each with no crying!! He likes to look out back the car and say Mommy, big big truck!!
 

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