I know I should have said something...

But I have a really hard time saying things to other parents when I worry that they may take things as a criticism. Today we had a play date with one of ds1's classmates and several things made me cringe. First, when they got to the park, I saw mom and dd1 coming. I asked where dd2 was and she said asleep in the car. OK, I can maybe understand leaving her there for a minute while walking dd1 over to the playground area, but she left her there for a while. The whole time I was worried about her dd2 in the car, but I was too chicken to say anything. Finally she went to check on her and came back with a crying dd2. Poor thing probably woke up scared to be alone in the car. At least she was all right though. But I do wonder if she leaves her in there often...especially since summer is coming....

The next thing I noticed as we were all leaving is that her 4 year old dd1 is in a booster seat and her 19 month old dd2 is forward facing. I don't know how much dd1 weighs, but I don't think she's more than 40lbs. And her dd2 seems so tiny still to be forward facing. Should I have said something about any of the above? I mean I know that the answer is probably yes, but I just have a horrible time with confrontation. OTOH, it's children's safety at stake...

I am very blunt so I try not to be confrontational

I had the DD2 left in the car scenario happen to me before. one thing is the mums who leave a sleeping child alone in the car tend to do that more than once.

I just told my neighbour who did that "By the way did you wind down the windows since your DD2 is sleeping in your car" followed by "I can watch DD1 while you get DD2 out of your car"

since my skinny looking 4yr old weighs 43lbs at his wellbaby. I would not dare to assume her DD1 is less than 40lbs. while I would mention that my DS1 is still in a harnessed car seat because I feel its safer, I wont make it sound like bad parental judgement on her for putting her DD1 in a booster and DD2 in a FF carseat.

I am saying that because my DH is the one that chooses the car seat since he is the sole breadwinner. eventhough he is willing to change his choice if I give him v good valid reasons.

What state do you live in? Leaving a child alone in a car in FL is illegal. Children die all the time left in cars - get her email address and send her this. If you can't get her email, print the article and give it to her.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dy...2/27/AR2009022701549.html?sid=ST2009030602446

http://www.kidsandcars.org/

It doesn't take very long for a child to overheat and die a horrible death in a car. Plus, someone could take the child. People always say that it won't happen to them, or that the windows are open so it is ok. But, it DOES happen to plain old people like you and me and your friend.

If she left a child in the car again at a play date, if I were you, I agree with the other poster to offer to watch her other dc while she got the one in the car. If she doesn't, I'd ask her to watch your own dc while you went back to the car yourself to sit with her dc, telling her that you just don't feel comfortable enjoying yourself at a park with the dc in the car.

Don't be afraid of addressing this - I personally would rather loose a friendship than watch someone leave a child alone in a car. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to that child while I was sitting not far away and could have done something. If someone ended a friendship with me over this, and I continued to witness her leaving a child in a car, I'd call the police (annonymously) on her while at the park.

The car doors weren't open? I've let a sleeping child finish a nap. But, I stay within view with the doors open within 30 feet when it isn't hot. (not at a park)

We also do this when it isn't too hot in a garage that is monitored for temp, with the doors all open, with the garage open, while I'm in the kitchen within earshot. (Yeah attached garages!) *I check every 5 minutes or so because I am paranoid... *

I don't think it is safe in "public" with the doors closed. The Doors closed part really worries me.

I would say something, and this is from someone who does let kids sleep in a car in very specific situations. I would say something about how people get arrested all the time for it, and sadly, kids die each year from it.

I probobly would have said something about the child in the car. In MD it's illegal (as I imagine it may be everywhere). Here you can be charged and receive up to 9 months in jail and a huge fine ($1000+ I forget exactly). And whether you get jail time or not, at a minimum you get a fine and a criminal record.

I would say nothing about the booster or the FF one year old unless you are asked. While it isn't ideal, it is within the limits of manufacturer recommendations.

I WOULD put my foot down about the baby left in the car. That just isn't cool.

I was also thinking about the cars transmission failing and rolling crashing into something. I remember some children dieing in a Ford Areostar because the van rolled backwards into a lake or river(this was a long time ago BTW). I guess the parents had left them in the van by themselves.

Erika Ruth said:

The car doors weren't open? I've let a sleeping child finish a nap. But, I stay within view with the doors open within 30 feet when it isn't hot. (not at a park)

We also do this when it isn't too hot in a garage that is monitored for temp, with the doors all open, with the garage open, while I'm in the kitchen within earshot. (Yeah attached garages!) *I check every 5 minutes or so because I am paranoid... *

I don't think it is safe in "public" with the doors closed. The Doors closed part really worries me.

I would say something, and this is from someone who does let kids sleep in a car in very specific situations. I would say something about how people get arrested all the time for it, and sadly, kids die each year from it.

Click to expand...

:yeahthat:

If you have another playdate with her and it happens again, definitely say that you will watch dd1 and INSIST that she go get the girl! Couch it as, "I remember there was that terrible incident in ___, where the child died..." bla bla bla.

If your children continue to be friends, you would want the mother to at least have a clue (more!) about keeping children safe while in the car. I wonder what other "shortcuts" she might take with safety, and I would be worried if my child were ever at a playdate with them without me.

hth!

Thank you so much for all of your comments. If we have another play date and the same situation arises, I will be sure to say something next time. And...if I get up the nerve to bring up the rear facing situation for her dd2, do you think this would be a good seat to suggest? http://www.overstock.com/Baby/Cosco...e-Car-Seat/3235740/product.html?sec_iid=33969 Her dd looks to be about 31ish inches, so do you think it would be worth it to get a Scenera for her? Do you think it could last her at least a year rear facing?