Interesting Convo with a Friend

On Saturday I took Josef to our local kid's fair and met up with a good friend, she has a daughter, B, who is exactly one month younger than Josef (we are already planning their wedding, lol) so we try to get together when we can.

She has two other children including P who will be three in July and has been FF since 11 months and weighs right around 30lbs. Then there is baby S who will be one at the end of the month and is hovering around 20lbs. Baby S is in an Evenflo Carrier with straps WAY too lose and a belly clip, P is in a FF only seat that was B's until she was moved into a HBB almost two years ago. My friend knows that Baby S needs a new seat and "even though I turned the other two at 11 months, S likes it RFing so I will keep her RFing for a while"....."but when S needs P's seat, P will be moved to B's booster and B will get a regular booster without a back." B was moved into a HBB when she was three, and my friend hinted that this is when P would also be moved. She asked me if Josef was in a HBB or a regular booster in Daddy's car (she knows I have the beast in mine), and I told her "Oh Josef is in a HBB and will stay in it until he outgrows it because hubby's car does not have SI air-bags". She kinda looked surprised, but then again she says "Oh, I sometimes forget who I am talking to about car seats " Needless to say she knows how I feel about FF before age two/three and boosters before age five. To make matters even worse her husband is an OT who works with children, and yes has worked with some children who have been injured in car accidents. Yet T does not want to spend money-for anything and they have TONS of money to go around!

I told her to get Baby S a Cosco Scenera at Wal-Mart for under $40 and to keep the others where they are until Baby S outgrows the Scenera OR P outgrows the FF only seat. She REALLY wanted the GN for P, but T refuses to let her buy it, and he "controls" the money so to speak.

This is a case of if you had to choose between ERF and EH which would you choose. P is such a sweet little boy and is a GREAT car rider, but still under 4yrs/40lbs scares me so much in a booster! Baby S's neck can not withstand a force that an impact would put on her neck and that is why I chose ERF over EH. Baby S has a HUGE noggin on her!

1) How tall is P? Does he still have room in the seat he's in? If so then:
2) It sounds like the scenera is a good next step for them - the baby needs to be rear facing for awhile.
3) Once the baby is in the scenera you can give her info about seats expiring. That the baby will probably not be able to use P's seat. AS well you can pass on info about 4 yr and 40lbs being a minimum for a booster. Hopefully this will give her some time to show T that the nautilus is a good buy for them.

I would always choose ERF over EH, regardless of the parents and their wishes. RF vs FF is concrete science and well founded. Harness vs booster is conjecture and speculation with both sides saying the other is dangerous. It's like breast/formula over vaccines. It's well founded evidence that formula is sub par to breastmilk. No question, no debate from either side. With vaccines, both sides have very clear and convincing research to support their theory, scientifically backed in each instance. If I get 5 minutes and one argument to make, it would be breast feeding hands down. RF vs FF, same with breast/bottle, is 100% black and white for the average child. Harness vs booster, like vaccine vs no, is 100% grey for the average child. So yeah, RF over harnessing any day. And tell her to grow a set and slap her husband, she can have the seats she wants.

(I'm not trying to start any other outside debates, just pulling two "other" situations where the "which one to push" would be similar)

P hardly has any room left in his seat He is almost as tall as Josef!

She knows about car seats expiring, because she has said that Baby S will not get to use the FF only seat for long because "it will be too old by then". I am almost positive it will expire the end of this year/beginning of next year.

Numerous people have told her about the 4/40 and boosters-but her husband's "thing" is that "on the box they are rated for so-and-so". She is such a sweet woman, who is VERY submissive to her VERY controlling husband She says "well T works so hard to provide us with everything and we are lucky that we have no debt so I do not make a fuss over things."

And Splash, I 100% agree with you, down to the FF/BF and vax/no vax! And yep, I have told her to stand up to T more than once!

Because I am very submissive to a very controlling husband, I feel I can speak to this a bit. I don't demand things from dh. When we need carseats, I just explain it all to him, in terms he will hear. I break it down to cost per year. I point out how often we spend a bunch of money. And ways that I save u a lot of money (e.g. breastfeeding, cloth diapering, etc.) My dh works construction, so I also tell him that carseats are tools I need to properly do my job. I would just encourage her to explain to her dh that P needs a new seat, the options are the Regent for $X, the Frontier for $X or the Nauti for $X, which seat would he like her to get and when will it fit in the budget.