Plea for help with idiot parent

Victorious4

Senior Community Member
Part 1
Leila & her mommy are walking hand-in-hand to school this morning when Mommy sees a carseat on the pavement outside the entrance.
  • "Huh. Wonder who left that there. Looks old. The straps are twisted. They're in the lowest slot. Hope it's for a younger sibling still RF. Too bad it's an OHS."
Leila dances down the hall & sings a cheerful hello to her new teacher, taking off her backpack & coat, turning to give Mommy a bouncy hug & kiss byebye before twirling over to her cubby. Leila's mommy heads back outside thinking about leaving her card on the seat.
  • "Oh, great, it's still here. Wait, the stickers are all worn off. How'd I miss that before? Well, I'll just take the liberty of turning this bad boy around to see if it's expired."
She shakes her head & sighs, heading back into the building to grab a pen & paper to leave a note for the parent.
  • "Of course the seat is expired. December of 2003. I doubt they'll respond but I'm leaving the note anyway:
    • Dear loving parent or care providor, I'm a SafeKids Worldwide certified Child Passenger Safety Technician & I happened to notice that this seat is long expired & therefore dangerously unsafe. Call me immediately for help selecting & using a safe seat for your child(ren)."
Part 2
This morning Leila went on a fantabulific field trip to see Seussical the Musical live! Her bus was returning late, but her mommy had forgotten. So, Mommy showed up early & just walked around the parking lot rewarding her nosey carseat obsession. Just as she saw the bus pulling in she started walking towards the drop off zone. She noticed another mom get out of a 1980s Buick *GASP* Goodness, the expired OHS carseat was in the front passenger seat! This mom was taking home 1 of Leila's classmates. Leila's mommy walked her way past the car nonchallantly peeking over with a friendly smile as the other mom buckled her son in. Leila's mommy noticed that the carseat was not at all installed (the vehicle seatbelt buckle dangling in midair)!
  • "Leila, is that one of your friends?"
  • "Yeah, but no because he fights."
  • "Mm, that's too bad. Say, d'ya notice anything about his carseat?"
By now Leila was being buckled into her own carseat.
  • "I know, that was his carseat on the step today. He doesn't fit it. And, uh, he can't be in front."
  • "Wow, you're right, that's very observant Leila! What do you think we should do to help him?"
  • "Ummm, call the police."
  • "Normally that's exactly what I would do, kiddo, but I already gave her my name & address & phone number. Some people get angry & I don't want his mommy or daddy to come to our house if they get angry. But I'm still going to help your classmate. I'm going to ask my friends for their advice. Ready to hear some more Seussical? I got the CD"
  • "YAY!"
***********************************
So, there you have it....
Now in the words of The Cat in the Hat -- WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
 
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ADS

Jeanum

Admin - CPS Technician Emeritus
Staff member
Yikes, scary seat and even scarier non-installation. :eek:

Since you left her a note, you can see if she contacts you for help. But in the meantime her child is seriously endangered, what a pickle.

Do you have a local police contact, perhaps from previous times you've called the police about carseat misuse, ;) to whom you could explain the situation? Maybe the police could stake out the street by the school with a radar gun on the pretext of enforcing a school zone speed limit around the time kids are being dropped off or picked up? Then they could watch for this mom to bust her for the carseat misuse, possibly without her connecting the dots and putting two and two together, KWIM?

You have to do what you need to do to keep yourself and your family safe, and it's a fine line, I know. Sometimes you can't do any more to get through to people and have to walk away knowing you did what you could.
 

Patriot201

Car-Seat.org Ambassador
What a cute way of telling the story! :)

Gosh, this is a hard one. Honestly? I would call the police. You tried to help and the mother did not accept your help. I would call the police now.
 

gwenvet

New member
What if you find out which techs (like at the police or AAA) have seats to give away, and leave a note on her windshield saying that she can get a free new seat from ______. Hopefully, if she goes they will do some education as well and remind her that they do no good unless they're installed! When I looked at that RF'ing movie on youtube, there was a link to a story from the Emergency 911 show where a boy and his carseat fall out of a truck in a parking lot. Head injury, coma the whole works. Guess you can't make her watch that but if she can be enticed into getting a free seat and it makes a kid safer than it's not all bad.
 
T

tutu

Guest
Kind of a moral dilemma. I don't think I would take the risk of retaliation at all, but esp not if I thought calling the police wouldn't result in any long-term change. I wonder of the parent of the child being transported knew that s/he would be endangered by this woman. Sadly, I also wonder if some parents would be more inspired by the threat of a fine than by the threat to children of their choices. http://www.nysgtsc.state.ny.us/boost-new.htm
 

Victorious4

Senior Community Member
I wasn't able to get the lisence plate # at the time: mom didn't return my friendly smile, but had that "wachoo lukinat" face so I didn't stick around long enough to seem *suspicious*.

In NY kids are required to use a carseat or booster until age 7. It could be confused that kids over 4 must be in a booster only, but that's not the case (my 4 year old is legally still harnessed in an appropriate seat as was her sister until 8 years old). Sadly, it's even legal - although clearly stupid & obviously unsafe - to have an infant in a booster here :eek: :mad: Lots of parents who don't care about CPSafety just don't care either way, fine or no fine....

The police in this particular small town (actually referred to as a "hamlet" it's so small, LOL) are not present full time - I have to call the Sheriff Station about 1/2 hour away & this makes it unlikely that anyone would locate the car after a call let alone make time to sit on the premises for who knows how many days it takes to spot it again (especially when there's a chance that it was a fluke).

If I see the vehicle again & there's been no contact from this mom & the seat is still illegally used then I will get the lisence plate to call her in. Otherwise, if I don't see her vehicle, I'll just try to establish a sort of friendship with her to where I can say something along the lines "hey, did you know there's a CPST in the school district now, isn't that great? Here's what I've learned!" :) It might be sneaky, but it's not lying - I'm the CPST & I'm in the school district now & I've learned a lot, LOL

Plus, I'm going to keep pushing the PreK + Kindergarten teachers to include the booster seat curriculum guide from the US Dept. of Transp. which has sheets for parents ... possibly by letting me volunteer as a Community Helper every so often since I also observe classes for my teaching degree.

Thanks all for letting me vent about it & for responding in helpful ways to let me work through this!
What a cute way of telling the story!
& thanks, Patriot - I was feeling a li'l creative earlier, LOL
 
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