How to keep a baby happy RF?

I saw a comment on another thread referencing ideas for keeping a baby happy RF so that the parents don't feel the need to turn them FF as soon as possible. I'm very interested in these ideas, since I turned both of my children FF when they hit 20 lbs. (at 20 months for #1 and 16 months for #2) because they screamed in the car. I turned #2 back RF just last week (at 26 months), and she's doing fine with it so far, but my husband isn't willing to leave a child RF beyond one year AND 20 lbs. if it means screaming on trips. He's perfectly willing to have them RF if they're happy. Trips with both of them suddenly became calm and almost enjoyable as soon as we turned them FF.

Here are some of the things I tried: I would sit in the back and try to interact with baby; after six months when we had started on solids, I would make sure that the feeding happened during the trip; we had those soft toys that velcro around the handle of our Snugride; I would reach back from the front seat and touch the baby, either top of head or holding the hand. None of those things worked for long. Giving a bottle was not an option, since I breastfeed and my babies stopped taking a bottle after about 4 months of age. A typical trip for us was about 4 1/2 hours of driving time (to visit grandparents), and out of those an average of 2 1/2 hours was baby screaming. We could stop and feed the baby, but the screaming would start up again as soon as we started again. Sleep could be either before, after or between the screaming.

Now I realize that sitting in the back seat wasn't safe for me since we just had a lap belt. Nor was reaching back from the front, since it caused the shoulder belt to sit wrong on my body. I also get carsick, so sitting in the back wasn't good in that regard either. We now have a new car, and I could sit in the back with the baby in the 3rd row since it has the lap/shoulder belt in the middle, but the farther back in the car, the sicker I get. The current plan is for new baby to ride in the 2nd row captain's chair, but I wouldn't be able to reach across that gap either to feed the baby or touch the baby.

Any other ideas would be greatly appreciated!

Did you ever try rearfacing in another seat? I've heard *lots* of complaints about babies screaming in the Snugride, and being happy as soon as they move to a convertible (and it may have something to do with reflux or stomach pain that is never diagnosed as reflux, I'm going to guess, because many, many parents have found that it's their refluxy kids that are most miserable in infant seats, especially the snugride, which must be just curved enough to be very uncomfortable, not flat like a big convertible seat is). My first two never really had 'car screaming' episodes, and I never would have though that rearfacing was the problem, but my third had a few miserable months there where any car ride was miserable for everyone (hungry? exhausted? bored? yes, I figured all those, but never 'ff would make her happy', so I never showed undue stress to her about that being the issue...kids pick up on stress like you wouldn't believe!). I still never assumed that going FF would help, so we just rode it out, so to speak, and after a few months of constant screaming she finally got over it, rearfaced till she was 35 pounds and had to go FF at age 3. (it really helps when there are big kids to look at and help entertain, too )

One thing that works great for many kids is sitting more upright. Older babies and toddlers do not need the full 45 degree recline angle that newborns require. There are little tricks you can use to achieve a more upright installation (the seat itself must remain in recline mode per the instruction manual).

Another is changing seating location... for example, from center to outboard, for a better/different view.

I found that sitting back there sometimes was actually worse, because then the times I wasn't, she would be upset and expect me to come back there.

Also, with babies, making sure they have burped before getting in the car is important. Gassy babies can be very uncomfortable and cranky in the car.

Whether a baby is bottle fed or not doesn't matter... feeding a child while the car is in motion is not recommended because it can cause choking, and you can't really help a choking child who is strapped into a car seat in a moving vehicle fast enough.

The other thing is to remember that many, many kids go through phases of hating the car, and sometimes there's just nothing you can do except let it pass. I'm sorry it's been so difficult, but hopefully we'll come up with some tips that will help.

I had my daughter in a Snug ride. She screamed every time we were in the car. At 11 months I turned her FF in a convertiable seat. It never occured to me that she could be RFing in it. She was only 18 pounds but I could not understand what the big deal was, only one pound to go. Well then I found mothering.com and the disscuion board on car seats. I read awhile and at firt thought the moms were nutty. After awhile (a month or so) and I had time to digest and ask questions I figured out that she could sit RFing. And to my suprise he did not cry or throw a fit. she is almsot 3 and still rfing.

My tips:
I have a back pack that I have toy, a fake phone, camera, books, cherieos etc in. this keeps her busy.

I turn on HER music. We listen to christian childrens music. I encourage her to sing along. She cant be complaining if she is singing.

I have her look out the window and name the buisness' she sees.

I try to schedule trips right before her nap so that she sleeps the trip away. We live quite a bit of way from the nearest town so this work for us.

I dont go out of my way to keep her happy. She has to sit in the seat. She knows that she has no choice. No use getting upset.

Snacks that aren't messy work well for us on bad days. Like dried mango, banana chips, apple slices. But, we don't like eating in the car (and it freaks me out ...danger of choking).so, we don't do it often.

A cell phone (fake or battery taken out) works well.
Stickers on the back seat (where they're feet go). Make a game out of it. Put 4-5 different kinds of stickers and ask them about them (what colors? shapes? where are they..up or down ..side to side? kick the red one..now the blue one...etc).
Those little cheapy "video games" from happy meals are GREAT entertainment on bad car rides, too.

I did forget to mention that both of them were moved to a convertible Safety 1st Enspira RF at around one year (because I went by full length, and I don't know if they were really too tall for the Snugride or not). The screaming did not seem to change. I'm pretty sure it was a little more upright than the 45 degrees because I didn't worry too much about the guides being level with the ground as they were both older.

I did always make sure they were well-burped, and while my first may have had very mild reflux, I'm pretty confident that my second did not. I'm actually relieved to hear that feeding in the car isn't really a good idea in the first place, because I don't see how it would even be possible in my new car.

I may be getting all worried about nothing, especially since this baby will be able to see my oldest, who is FF in the middle of the 3rd row. I have turned my second back RF and have had no issues with that, so I'm more concerned about newborn-18 months or so. Maybe if we had stuck it out just a few more months, the screaming would have gone away on its own, but neither my husband nor I can handle hearing a child scream very well. In retrospect, my oldest may have been getting happier RF by the time she was 20 months old and I turned her. I was so burned out from all the screaming that I didn't really notice if it was getting better!

It may seem counter productive but when I have my neice AND my daughter together in the back seat it IS MORE peaceful. They keep each otehr comapny.

And I avoid sitting in the back at all cost. I dont want her to expect it all the time.

I have been pondering if rf screamers are getting motion sickness. When I was little we had one of those big old station wagons with the rear facing third row jump seat. I loved sitting there but I got so car sick sitting backwards, complete with a pounding headache and, if the trip was long enough, vomiting. If I turned to face the front of the car I was ok. It makes sense since motion sickness is a big problem in our family, with at least half of us having problems. And most of the kids (16 cousins) have had trouble rf. This would make sense to me that some kids seem miserable rear facing and some are fine. DD1 screamed all the time rf but was fine ff, but now at age five she gets car sick a lot (we always have a "barf bucket" at the ready.)

What could you do to help a rf kid who is experiencing motion sickness? And would this possibly help parents of these kids keep them rf longer?

Hiya! I think that alot of little ones that scream while RF are getting motion sickness! I know that my DS got violently car sick right after his 1st birthday. I tried everything to get past it, but I finally turned him at 13 months. I then turned him back RF at 16 months with no problems. He stayed RF without any issues till 2 when I turned him back FF at 2 when he got really close to the weight limit. I have now turned him back RF in my car & he LOVES it!

For what it is worth he has also gotten car sick & thrown up FF several times!

However some great tips for keeping a RF baby/toddler happy that I have found are:

Soft mirror where they can see themselves. They will then talk to themselves!

Soft toys or a play phone.

Any toy that seems to make some noise!

A more upright angle.

Talking to them alot!

I also think that my son sleeps ALOT better on longer trips when he is RF! I have also found that if I wait to leave right around his nap time or later in the evening he sleeps alot better.

Good Luck! I hope some of these tips help you!

I've sometimes wondered if they get motion sick, but my motion sickness did not start until I was out of carseats (back when it was required until age 4 in my state), nor did any of my siblings start getting carsick before age 4. So I'm not convinced. I am hopeful that seeing older sibling(s) will help with this one!

Hmmm...I wonder what can be done for motion sickness. I don't want to have to give meds every time we go in the car. Anybody have any suggestions? I'm pretty sure this is what is going on with dd2, that she is car sick.

Ginger in some form? I wonder if gingersnaps would work; I know ginger ale can help nausea (as long as it really has ginger in it!).

Would it be possible for your kids to sit next to each other? My dd and ds keep each other entertained quite well (although, at times, they disagree).

We have lots of snacks, on long trips, to keep the kids busy. Nothing liquidy or sticky, though. And only water to drink. Frequent snacking is supposed to help prevent car sickness in kids.

Snacks don't seem to help her, the crying starts less than 5 mins. into every trip. I feel so bad for her. I know ginger is supposed to help with nausea but I haven't tried it yet, I wasn't sure if it was allergenic.

My oldest was a screamer - in all of her carseats (but did do better in the MA over the snugride).

First - to this day (at nearly 3.5 years old) she HATES a cold carseat and it just starts the trip off wrong. Often, putting on a light weight coat that has been by the air vent helps.

In the summer - she was over sensitive to the sun and at night, to the car lights that beamed right at her face while stuck in traffic. Just a thought.

We would open a window and she loved the wind on her face (odd as it was) and as a last resort... I turned the radio up as loud as I could stand it to drown out her crying.

Also, she simply is a very sensitive child (to clothing tags, noise, light and more) but she finally outgrew the screaming... the blood curdling screaming at age two when riding in the car. She is quite a pleasure in the car now. AND, best of all - she entertains her twin sisters who RF towards her.

Definitely having the siblings near each other has helped us this past year with the twins.

Also, loosening the straps to put the baby in the carrier and then tightening them (versus moving the baby into the straps... if that makes sense) - made for an easier transition and would start our trips off to a non-crying start.

We have an older kid who would get car sick. It started when he was 2-3 y.o. The end all be all answer is Sea Bands. They sell them at drug stores. They are just a wristband with a pressure point button on it. Thats it. They work absolutely fabulous! They come in adult and kid sizes. They also work really well for morning sickness. My motion sick son would puke in the car every trip over 15 mins. Once we got the sea bands, he was all better!

I was thinking the gripe water we gave her when she had colic might help. It has ginger and fennel. I will definitely try the sea bands. They might help me and my older daughter as well. We have a long car trip planned in May to visit a friend, and it would be wonderful to have this resolved by then I think I will start a separate thread about so that the info about motion sickness isn't buried in this thread. Thanks so much everyone for all the suggestions! :thumbsup: