Question Most upright RF carseat

So - MIL and FIL have this thing for installing and uninstalling DS's carseat.
Why? No clue...they have three cars to drive.

My only guess is that she has a Saturn (small car) and it would be difficult to have a passenger sit in front of our son's RF car seat. He uses a Scenera in their car and we can only get a good RF install with a pool noodle (makes for a steep recline).

Last week - I found it FF - DS is around 28 lbs. Door was locked so I could not even check if was remotely installed correctly.

I sent her the video that Joel's grandpa made - thinking it would alert her to the problem. Nothing - she did not even acknowledge the email.

So - car seat is still FF.

I have a couple options (at least in my mind).

Throw in the towel on RF and tell her we are installing it, FF - and we don't want it moved anymore.

Find a better RF carseat to allow for a more upright install (if so, which one).

For the record, DS is literally picked up in their car to and from the neighbor's house only. But, I am concerned that if there is ever an emergency, he would be travelling in a way that is less than best practice.

Ideas - solutions?

I would first ask exactly WHY they feel the need to install/uninstall, and explain the importance of installing it correctly and the fact that repeated installation opens up the possibility of making mistakes. Maybe they just don't realize that it matters that much?

I wouldn't resort to leaving the seat FF without finding out what the issue is first. Hopefully you can come to a compromise that is safe for your son yet works for the ILs.

It is very easy for me to be assertive with my parents - but since they are my ILs, I have to tread lightly.

DH is non-confrontational - he never speaks his mind to them even though behind closed doors he'll acknowledge that there is no reason for them to keep uninstalling it and wonders how he survived being a child.

I really thought Joel's video would do the trick. But - not so much.

Part of the problem is that FIL is a former tech - as in five years ago. He is a firefighter and they paid for his classes. He's got pretty good common sense about installs - but isn't current on many trends, such as ERF, or LATCH.

I'll have the unpopular opinion here, but if it's for a really short distance and he is rarely in their car, I personally would go with whatever is most likely to help them use the seat properly each and every time. If that means you install it forward facing with the understanding that they are not to uninstall it, then that's what it means. Rear facing isn't going to be safer if the seat isn't installed properly.
I have two more difficult to install seats and two easily installed seats. I'm using the difficult ones in my car and have the easy ones for DH and my mom to use even though it means that ODS will be ff.

How old is your DS? If he's under 2 (I'm guessing so) then I agree that I would try to approach this as an opportunity to hear their "side" before presenting some solutions . . . somewhere in there sharing a printed copy of the new AAP recommendation along with the fact that repeatedly uninstalling/reinstalling can increase the risk of user error....

My son will be 2 in May. Come summer time, he rarely is in the car because they just pick him up in the stroller.

ctbcleveland said:

My son will be 2 in May. Come summer time, he rarely is in the car because they just pick him up in the stroller.

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In that case, you need to keep that seat facing until at least May. Then he'll be picked up in the stroller and the seat won't be in there way anymore so it can sit in the house even. Once fall comes, you can revisit the situation.

Tell them gently, "DS MUST be RF is it 5x (or I like to say 500% because it sounds so much bigger ) safer RF. What I can do to help out so we can keep his seat installed RF? This should let them present you with the issue and from there you can find out what to do to fix it (maybe passenger needs to sit more upright with seat bottom further back to give more leg room, maybe seat can be moved behind driver, etc.) If FIL is a former tech, I assume that's he competent in installing seats tightly and correctly? If so I'm not sure if I'd worried if they uninstalled it and reinstalled it, as long as it was installed RF. My dad drives me crazy, he is always taking DD's seat out because he wants my mom to have more room in the passenger seat. But DD's seat goes in at the perfect angle on their vehicle seats and he gets it in rock solid every time, lock offs are shut, and quickly, so I haven't been able to complain!

Thanks Techno -

Here is my strategy - since MIL ignored my Joel video - I am just going to go directly to FIL and start over. I think I will tell them that I will have DH stop by this weekend to re-install the seat RF, based on the new AAP reccommendations and then ask questions to see what we can do to minimize the seat being constantly installed and uninstalled.

FIL does a pretty good job. He's made very few mistakes (using LATCH in a center position and using a rolled towel rather than a noodle) but he is not hard headed - I brought up the LATCH thing right away and he fixed it immediately.

I do feel better when DH and I do the install - DH does all the muscle work and then I check everything over.

Hiya! I would also have your DH bring it up. However your DH sounds just like mine when it comes to the IL's! He NEVER wants to bring anything up with them. I usually wind up doing it myself.

I also wanted to ask you what was wrong with a rolled towel for the install RF? I used rolled towels to get my sons seat at the right angle for RF as I never had a pool noodle. I have always been told that you can use a tightly rolled towel OR a pool noodle.

ETA: I have my DS FF in my MIL's car. However she rarely ever takes him anywhere when she has him, but the seat is there just in case. If he had been under 2 when she started watching him then he would have been RF no matter what, but he was over 2!

ctbcleveland said:

FIL does a pretty good job. He's made very few mistakes (using LATCH in a center position and using a rolled towel rather than a noodle) but he is not hard headed - I brought up the LATCH thing right away and he fixed it immediately.

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Using a rolled towel is 100% acceptable. And some vehicles do allow LATCH in center position. Depending on the year/make/model of Saturn it's possible it has 3 dedicated sets of LATCH anchors so you might want to double check that. :thumbsup:

I agree with the others - try and determine what the difficulty they're having is - perhaps you could even install the seat in the center with the seatbelt and then there wouldn't be a problem with the front seat?

And I would consider trying the towel as you sometimes have more flexibility in terms of adjusting the recline if you use a towel instead of a pool noodle.

The LATCH situation was in the back of his pick-up truck - not the Saturn. Don't remember which model it was, but checked here an LATCH was a no-no in the center.

Yeah - I know that towels aren't a problem - but his definition of "tightly rolled" differed from mine - he didn't tape them, so they never quite stayed in the same position as when he started.

So - here is the update. Told DH he had to go there this weekend to do the installs. Explained that I could either email them or he could talk to them. He said he'd talk to them. He plans to threaten them a little - it needs to be in rear-facing or I can't have you pick him up anymore. I don't like the tactic, but I am ok with not being the bad guy. We shall see....