well the way i raise my kids is very AP (attachment parenting) i answer my childrens needs... I also practice lots of natral pareting styles as well. i have three and it can be tricky at times but when i had one it was so much easier! LOL My kids didn't go to sleep on their own till oh lets see ds is 6 so about 4.5 years old. uptill then i would lay with him to get him to sleep... my girls are 4.5 and 2, they still co sleep (sleep in bed with me and dh). My yongest still nurses to sleep at nap and night time. The way i see it if i don't answer my childrens needs as soon as i can and not make them wait it out or cry it out, ect then they will learn that they can depend on me and that is something that will carry through their whole lives. Lets see i delayed vacinating my kids till after their 2nd birthdays, i didn't give them mushed stuff to eat (they started table foods about 11-15months old), I used cloth diapers for about 1.5 years on all of them, i could got on and on but these are just some examples...
I would say at 10 months old and child is still so so so dependent on you especially if you are a single mom...
As for getting things doen in mean time... at 10 months old i coudl only take a showere if i took dd with me, no big deal she needs a bath anyways! LOL also a sling or carrier helped me out a lot, if she wanted to be carried and i needed to do dishes then she was straped on my back...
That sounds very much like our home !
DS started going to sleep on his own somewhere between 2 and 4 years old, but it was a gradual process. Some nights he would, some nights not. It wasn't consistent until very recently, and he still wakes in the night at least a few times a week (at which point, DH goes in with him for the last few hours).
DD - at 2 - still nurses before sleep, and I lay with her. Once the new baby comes, she'll start into the gradual process to falling asleep alone the same way her older brother did too. She comes into the family bed between midnight and 2am pretty much every night right now.
Showering - nope. I take baths, and often have at least one child with me still *lol* I just make sure I wash my hair first, or if I need an alone-time shower, I do it after I know both my kids are asleep.
I would not have survived my children's infancy times without our slings though - as both were very much in-arms babies. They basically lived in arms until they were walking - then it slowed down as they learned to explore.