Proofreading

Victorious4

Senior Community Member
Below is a copy/pasted version of a 1 page handout I give all my families -- any criticisms...?
  • Car crashes are the leading cause of death for kids, surpassing all illnesses combined.
    FOUR OUT OF FIVE KIDS ARE RIDING WITH AN AVERAGE OF THREE POTENTIALLY FATAL MISUSE ERRORS!​

    Parents want to keep their kids safe; we want to know what these common child safety seat mistakes are and how to avoid them! We ask our friends and family, we ask our Pediatricians. Too often we are given life threatening child passenger safety advice because even the doctor has not read the updated American Academy of Pediatrics policy statement on child safety seats. We’re lucky if state laws reflect the bare minimum of child passenger safety. Some nations require kids remain rear-facing until 50 pounds and to use a booster until 12 years old – they have drastically lower rates of death and/or paralysis to this age group compared to the U.S. Our kids deserve safest practice....

    AAP and the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration have determined that safest practice means keeping toddlers rear-facing until the maximum limits on the convertible child safety seat. This is based in part on autopsy reports in which forward-facing toddlers are shown to be at a four-fold risk of death before 2 years of age compared to those who are still rear-facing. The larger head to body size ratio combined with less developed spinal ligaments creates a situation in which the spine stretches two inches in crashes when it can only withstand stretching up to one-quarter inch. This is also because almost 50% of crashes are to the front of the vehicle, while only about 2-4% of crashes are to the rear of the vehicle, the rest being spread out upon all sides/corners. Prematurely turning babies around before 12 months and (not or) 20 pounds is extremely dangerous! Child safety seats can now rear-face until 30, 33 or 35 pounds.

    AAP and NHTSA urge parents to keep preschoolers harnessed until the maximum limits of the forward-facing child safety seat. 4 years and 40 pounds is the recommended bare minimum for graduating children into boosters. It has been a standard in the racing industry for quite some time now that grown adults wear harness style seatbelts. This is because they are proven to be so much safer, especially in side impacts and roll-overs. Furthermore, a child must be able to use the booster and vehicle lap/shoulder belt correctly for the entire length of every ride, never leaning out of position and never putting the belt under the arm or behind the back. Forward-facing child safety seats can now fit children up to 55, 65 or even 80 pounds. Boosters can fit up to 100 pounds. Big kids may safely graduate out of boosters only by answering yes to all of these questions:
    1. Can you sit all the way back with knees bent?
    2. Does the lap belt cross your hips/thighs?
    3. Is the shoulder belt on your collar bone?
    4. Do your feet rest on the floor?
    5. Can you stay this way?​

    Remember that the best child safety seat fits the child, fits the vehicle, and will be used correctly for the entire length of every ride. Differences of weight and height limits depend on the manufacturer and model of the child safety seat. Read your vehicle and child safety seat manuals thoroughly. Always follow the directions. Never use a child safety seat that is older than about 6 years from Date of Manufacture. Put your weight into the child safety seat to make sure it is secure, moving less than 1 inch at the belt path. Make sure the harness straps are properly positioned below the shoulders when rear-facing or above the shoulders when forward-facing, chest clip even with the “armpits”. Tighten the harness straps so there is no slack. Refrain from letting your children wear bulky clothing in their child safety seats as it increases the risk of your child being ejected in a crash! Passengers who are ejected are four times as likely to die. Replace child safety seats after a crash.

    Call 1-800-SAFE-KIDS to have your child safety seats checked by your local certified Child Passenger Safety Technician or visit www.safekids.org and www.car-seat.org
Thanks!
 
ADS

lovinwaves

New member
Papooses,
I think it looks great! :D Do you mind if I use that as one of my handouts?

I know you mentioned the 50% of crashes being head on. I like the stat that says 96% of crashes are head-on or side impact and only 4% are rear(which tend to be less dangerous and lesser speeds). Because I have a lot of parents ask me "Well, what about rear-end crashes, my child won't benefit from facing rearward if we were to be rear-ended".

I also would like to mention something about how Rear-facing benefits in Side-impact crashes (which tend to be the most dangerous) versus forward-facing.
 

mamato2

New member
OK, this may be picky because it's a GREAT handout but I don't think that the 'three potentially fatal misuses' are clearly stated in the body of the article. From reading the article I think they are, ff too soon, booster too soon and belt only too soon, am I right? The article is full of very important and helpful info but might have more 'oooph' if the 3 misuses were pointed out, not inferred.(?)
C.
 

Patriot201

Car-Seat.org Ambassador
Are you wanting help editing the handout for grammatical errors and errors with conventions? If so, I will post some corrections. There are not many errors, but there are a few.

Content-wise, this handout looks wonderful! :)
 

Victorious4

Senior Community Member
C. -- you're right ... in my original I listed various types of misuses & was biting my teeth at omitting them, but it needs to be 1 page & I'm not sure where to eliminate what to fit them in :confused:

Patriot, anything you got is welcomed :cool:
 

Michi

Member
Could you post the 'finished product' when you are done?
If you don't mind, I would love to share it with some of my 'mis-informed' friends.
I'm not one to help with grammar ( blech!) but I think you are off to a great start! :)
Michi
 

Simplysomething

New member
One possibly stupid suggestion, is to make the paragraphs even smaller, or break them up more. Even if that isn't completely grammatically correct, people process smaller blocks of text better. Something like this:


AAP and the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration have determined that safest practice means keeping toddlers rear-facing until the maximum limits on the convertible child safety seat.

This is based in part on autopsy reports in which forward-facing toddlers are shown to be at a four-fold risk of death before 2 years of age compared to those who are still rear-facing. The larger head to body size ratio combined with less developed spinal ligaments creates a situation in which the spine stretches two inches in crashes when it can only withstand stretching up to one-quarter inch.

This is also because almost 50% of crashes are to the front of the vehicle, while only about 2-4% of crashes are to the rear of the vehicle, the rest being spread out upon all sides/corners. Prematurely turning babies around before 12 months and (not or) 20 pounds is extremely dangerous! Child safety seats can now rear-face until 30, 33 or 35 pounds.

So, instead of someone looking at the block of text (which was small to begin with, you aren't one who has a problem with the paragraph)...and thinking "gah, that's too much to read right now", they see it as "less".


And here
Refrain from letting your children wear bulky clothing in their child safety seats as it increases the risk of your child being ejected in a crash!
, just to be nitpicky, I'd just say "Do not". Or "Never allow bulky clothing".


Might want to put the big stuff, expiration dates, harness tightness, no winter coats near the beginning, because people miss that stuff all the time.

I just realized that spacing it out more might put you over the limit of one page. Sorry. lol
 

Victorious4

Senior Community Member
Yeah, the danged spacing issue :rolleyes: Plus, I'm trying to avoid letting it be too "emotionally charged" (which some take offensively -- directions incorrectly perceived as how to parent are bad enough, but being as blunt as I'd like to be could worsen that effect, LOL)
 

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