Question How should I put this...?

LuciaBella · Jan 16, 2009

I'm new to here, so I'm not sure if this is the right place...

but

I am a nanny for two little boys (3, 5) and they are both currently in booster seats. The 5 yr old has been in one since he was 3 and the 3 yr old has been in one since he was 2.5. The parents got rid of their car seats because it was "easier to get them in the car" with boosters...

I am TOTALLY against having them illegal in the boosters. We live in Washington so the booster law is 4 and 40lbs, 40inches...they both are over 40 lbs, and 40 inches now but they weren't when they were put into boosters. When they ride in my car, they are harnessed.

I'm just wondering how I can bring up the conversation to their parents in a non-judgmental or accusatory way to tell them or give them facts about the dangers of having them in booster seats. I'm very close to the mom so I know she will honor anything I say and she is very respectful. I love these boys (been with them for almost 4 yrs) and I don't want anything bad to happen to them, but I feel like their parents are a little dismissive just because of convenience.

How can I talk to them about getting these guys harnessed?

Any articles or personal experience would help! Thanks!

Evolily · Jan 16, 2009

Perhaps sending them some youtube videos and some links about 5 point harness benefits would help? Maybe send them "anonymously" somehow. I would be wary of bringing up the convo directly, because people tend to get defensive easily and they are your employers. I would also be aware that it is very likely that they know 5 point is safer, and aren't about to change no matter what you say or do.

Good luck

spokaneCPST · Jan 17, 2009

Just so you know, the law in Washington only requires that kids be in boosters until years or 4'9" and otherwise that seats are used according to manufacturer's instructions(proper use state). There are no age/size requirements otherwise. So, unfortunately the state law is not on your side, although the laws of safety certainly are.
http://www.800bucklup.org/parent/washingtons law.html (link to the RCW showing the child restraint law in our state)
Its great that you are a concerned nanny for these littles ones and want to see them kept safer. If you can share the Kyle David Miller video or some of the other you-tube, their mom may be convinced that at least the little one should be harnessed.

momto2boysinOnt · Jan 17, 2009

TBH, I might talk with the parents about getting the 3 year old back into a harnessed seat, but I'm not sure it's worth the effort for a 5 year old. Does he sit properly in the booster? If so, I think I'd think I'd "pick my battles" and emphasize how kids' brain development is such that they don't have the impulse control to sit properly all the time until age 5-6.

BW1426 · Jan 17, 2009

I'm a nanny too. I buy my own seats for the kids so at the very least, they're safe in my vehicle. Best practice in my car is not negotiable.

Good luck talking to the family.

LuciaBella · Jan 21, 2009

The 3 yr old slouches and he also unbuckles his seat belt before they have finished parking. I thought there was a booster law in Washington state? Besides the 4'9" thing I thought it was 4 yrs, 40lbs, 40inches...maybe I'm wrong. It should be anyways!

I'm very concerned and I love these kids. It really doesn't matter to me that they are my employers because they feel more like family. We are really open with each other and the mom is like my 2nd mom, so I'm not going to let that discourage me. I just want to approach it so that she doesn't feel I'm attacking her because I tend to do that sometimes!

I'm going to dinner with them tonight, so maybe I'll bring it up then

Defrost · Jan 21, 2009

How about something along the lines of "I just read about this, and I thought to myself 'Oh, there is no way that MomX has heard of this, because otherwise she would have them in different seats - she's always so careful about making sure they always wear their seatbelts and I know she loves them to death.' So I'm sending you this email because I know this must all be new to you.

Pixels · Jan 21, 2009

This says 4 OR 40

HTH

spokaneCPST · Jan 21, 2009

pixels99 said:
This says 4 OR 40

HTH

I know that sheet is confusing, but the chart where it says 4/40 is the old law, which is no longer in effect. The new law replaced those requirements. The only requirements in the new law are listed in the section above the chart:
"Washington's Child Restraint Law will change on June 1, 2007 to require:
• Children under 13 years old be transported in the back seat where it is practical to do so.
• Children up to their 8th birthday, unless they are 4'9" tall (57 inches), be transported in a child restraint system. (For example a child car seat, booster seat, vest, or other restraint that is federally approved for use in the car.)
• The restraint system must be used according to the car seat AND vehicle manufacturer’s instructions.
• Vehicles equipped with lap-only seat belts are exempt from the requirement to use a booster seat.
• Children 8-years of age or at least 4’9” who wear a seat belt MUST use it correctly. (NOT under the arm or behind the back.)"

LuciaBella · Jan 24, 2009

I talked to her on wednesday and she seemed very interested but also confused. I honestly don't think she knows that being harnessed is SO MUCH safer than in a booster seat. She said that I should take it up with her husband, so I did! I sent him links to articles and the kyle david miller video. They both seemed pretty open to the fact which I'm suprised. I guess its good that we are so close!

I sent them links to the Nautilus, Apex 65 and the Britax husky.
I also told her that I have a car seat she could use that goes up to 50. Hope it works out!

firemomof3 · Jan 24, 2009

Keep us posted :thumbsup:

Kat_Momof3 · Jan 24, 2009

keep us posted! I'm betting that you helping them raise their kids for 4yrs will hold a lot of weight, along with having plenty of research to back up your thoughts.

I wouldn't necessarily worry about the 5yr old, unless he were very small, but the 3yr old definitely needs to be harnessed.

sb518 · Jan 24, 2009

Perhaps you could come at it from a completely different perspective. "I was wondering if it would be okay if I keep the kids in harnessed seats in my car. I found all of this information *give them information* and I know they will be much safer this way."

That way you aren't "telling them how to parent" but you are still providing the great information.

LuciaBella · Jan 26, 2009

Both are small in comparison with the average child, but the 3 yr old is big compared to the 5 yr old. The 5 yr old is about 47lbs and the 3 yr old is about 45. They are almost 4 and 6. I know they are concerned as parents and I respect the fact that they listen to me!

Just curious though...Why do parents turn their kids around at 1 and 20, then to a booster at 3 and 30? I feel like there is a sense of urgency to have your kids grow up. Why is it always the minimum? Do parents just not know that keeping their kids RF or harnessed to the maximum height and weight requirements keeps them safer?
I just want to know in case this comes up with another family I nanny for.
Thanks

ctbcleveland · Jan 26, 2009

LuciaBella said:
Why do parents turn their kids around at 1 and 20, then to a booster at 3 and 30? I feel like there is a sense of urgency to have your kids grow up. Why is it always the minimum? Do parents just not know that keeping their kids RF or harnessed to the maximum height and weight requirements keeps them safer?
I just want to know in case this comes up with another family I nanny for.
Thanks

Your theory is correct - people think these are "milestones" in a child's life - some people call it "graduating to a booster". For some families, it is strickly for convenience and cost. I also think you're fighting the fact that parents always compare previous practices. "I didn't even use a carseat and I survived, so a booster must be better than that".

Good luck!

LuciaBella · Jan 26, 2009

Thanks! I know when I'm talking to my friends they say that they were out of car seats by preschool. I on the other hand...had a very protective mother who kept me in my car seat until 1st grade and a booster until 3rd grade!
I say you can never be too protective about child car seat safety. It's out of their hands!

Kat_Momof3 · Jan 27, 2009

another reason is that safety options have increased so fast in the last 30 years that it is amazing.

when you think about it... there weren't carseats until the seventies... they weren't mandatory until the 80's... and then there weren't nearly the amount of options, let alone the crash testing, the research, all that jazz, until the 90's

we've come a long way in a short time.

Unfortunately, getting all parents to have that info, let alone understand why it is so vital, and make all parents able to afford the safest options, are all battles we have to fight.

mkmama · Jan 27, 2009

LuciaBella said:
Just curious though...Why do parents turn their kids around at 1 and 20, then to a booster at 3 and 30? I feel like there is a sense of urgency to have your kids grow up. Why is it always the minimum? Do parents just not know that keeping their kids RF or harnessed to the maximum height and weight requirements keeps them safer?
I just want to know in case this comes up with another family I nanny for.
Thanks

Pretty much, yeah. With DS1 I had him turned around right at 1 year and 20 lbs...I simply didn't know better. I kind of figured there was some advantage to rearfacing (otherwise all infant seats wouldn't be rear facing) but I had NO idea how MUCH safer it was! It also didn't help that his convertible seat was a ComfortSport which he was quickly outgrowing, and I had no idea that it was not a danger to have legs touching the back of the seat.

DS2 is going to be rearfacing as long as possible, and harnessed as long as possible, despite the fact that it is going to be quite the battle with DH (he already thinks its "ridiculous" that a child has to use a booster to age 8).

I wish there was a lot more education out there...this site has been GREAT for me, but the only way I stumbled upon it was by searching for car seat safety to begin with, which sadly few parents do I think.

LuciaBella · Jan 27, 2009

I think its amazing so many people are on here! I've learned soo much since I've been on here for a few weeks. I'm doing the certification to be a Car seat technician in March and I'm sure there are tons of new things I will learn! I can't wait!

As for which car seat to recommend to the family I nanny for now...
I gave her links to the Nautilus which I've heard great things about, and also the Apex 65 and Regent/Frontier. Are there any other seats out there that are good on the budget? I know that money is an issue, and I wouldn't want them to be discouraged to put the boys back in car seats.

I have an evenflo triumph advance LX (goes up to 50) that I offered to give them, but I want to make sure they have a good seat that will have them harnessed as long as possible. Does anyone know if kids grow out of the evenflo faster than the nautilus at 50lbs?

Anything would help! Thanks!

Defrost · Jan 28, 2009

Yes, the Evenflo Triumph Advance is usually outgrown by height much earlier than the Nautilus. I believe the Nautilus gives 1-2 inches more torso growth, which usually translates to roughly 1-2 more years of use.

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