Having a kid in a car seat on a plane isn't a way to "control their behavior." It's a way to make them comfortable and keep them happy. My kid (and many others out there) don't view airplane seats as the kind of chair they need to STAY in. It's more like a chair at home that they are free to get in and out of whenever they want.
Kids know that they have to sit in one place in the car, and having a car seat helps them understand that on an airplane, too. My kid has never once tried to get out of his car seat on a plane--just like he doesn't try in the car. The one time he flew without a seat, he was pretty good, but I did have to keep him from unbuckling MANY times and trying to get up (at inappropriate times) now and then.
On planes, there are many times when it is not ok for a kid to be out of his/her seat. Even when it is "ok," there's not really anywhere to go. Aisles are tiny, and people are crabby.
I agree 100%.
When I was teaching Jordan to he needs to stay in Time-out (which he still needs a refresher from time to time
) I would continue to pick him up and put him back on the time out step. Over and Over and Over again. I did not get angry, I was just consistant. How did he react? He SCREAMED his little head off. It didn't bother me. He is entitled to not like it and have emotions about it. But, it was my job to parent him and be consistent. Even now at his age, we still do this in time out from time to time. We are in the privacy of my own home. He isn't disturbing anyone else.
In a restaurant, if he will not remain seated at the table properly, I take him outside the restaurant and put him in time-out. I remove him from the situation. I do not continue to seat him in his booster over and over again. If I did, he would scream, just like in time out and that would disturb other patrons. After we leave the table and he has a time out, when he comes back, he apologizes for his behavior to everyone at our table and at the tables next to us.
I see it unneccessary to teach him the "lesson" that an airplane seat is a seat to stay in at his age/size/maturity level when there are other options available. I could not removed him from the situation like in the restaurant, because there is no place to go. I could try to sit him over and over again in the seat, and rebuckle him umpteen times, but he would get emotional and scream. This would disturb other passengers. So, why *teach* him that an airplane seat is a seat to stay in, when I could *show* him, simply by bringing his carseat. He is used to his carseat, knows that he can't get out of it, and sleeps well in it. For MY son, not bringing his seat would the the irresponsible thing to do, from a safety standpoint, from an emotional wellbeing standpoint, and from a passenger courtesy standpoint. By the time he is old enough to be in a booster seat in the car, he will have had enough flight experience and have the maturity to stay in a plane seat without it being a lesson learned with headaches to go around.
When I flew with him when he was 2 1/2 years, I installed his seat rearfacing (as usual). The flight attendant came by and told me that I should turn his seat around forwardfacing because the passenger in front could not put his seat back. I told her (and the passenger in front) that:
1. He was within his rights to ride RFing because he was within the weight limit to do so.
2. He is safer RFing.
3. He rides RFing in the car, so he will be happier RFing on the plane
4. He will not be able to kick the seat in front of him.
5. If i turned him FFing, He would kick the seat in front of him because he is used to having his legs up, he is only 2 years old, and I would have to tell him 500 times to put his feet down and not kick the seat, he would get frustrated and scream and cry in the passenger's ear.
Bottom line "If I turn him FFing, the passenger would get to put his seat back a few inches, but ALL of us would be miserable by the time we land."
He stayed RFing and the flight went great, and when we landed everyone on board was telling me how good he was.
So, what I'm trying to say is that I'm not afraid of disciplining my child, but sometimes it is more easy for everyone to just avoid the need to do so.