WWYD--toddler in limo

zeo2ski

Well-known member
Need help QUICK!!--toddler/limo update

UPDATE: I'm driving my own DS. I called the groom about it a couple weeks ago and he said it's no problem at all. I also offered at that time to drive the flower girl and asked him to tell her parents that. Last night was the rehearsal dinner and I was talking to the bride (about whether or not I would bring my infant too) and the limo came up and she acknowledged that I was taking DS and I reminded her of my offer to take the flower girl as well and she firmly said the girls parents were bringing her in the limo. They're "hoping the limo people will allow her to ride since she won't have a carseat in there" and if there's a problem then she'll ride in her grandparents' car where there's a carseat. :eek::eek::eek:
I'm literally losing sleep over this. It's not my place to say anything more, and I'm totally not comfortable doing so, but I'm going to anyway. I figure I've got 1 hour before I should call, given the day's schedule. I'm at a complete loss her about what to say. I'm in NY state and still trying to decifer the law about whether the limo is legal for no CRs or not. I plan to call the bride since I have no other contact numbers for the fower girl's family. Oh and the bride is assistant director of a child care center and I'm just completely irate about her being perfectly fine with this whole thing.

My plan is to state simply that there is good reason I'm not allowing my DS on the limo and it is that same reason why I'm concerned about the little girl. I will again offer to drive her myself, but the parents, bride, groom and everyone else WANT her in the limo. If there's no way to convince them to send her with me or the grandparents, I will offer to install a seat in the limo for them. I'll have an extra boulevard. However, when checking here about limo laws, I realized there may not be a seat belt in the limo or if so it may not be on any of the forward facing seats.
I don't want to make a big stink and ruin their wedding day, but I will do what I can to protect this child, I'm deeply bothered by this situation. :thumbsdown: Please help me figure out what to do!




My 28 mos old DS will be the ring bearer for my step-BIL's wedding next weekend. His fiance has a niece the same age (flower girl) and she's already mentioned something about having to put the carseats in the limo, so at least I know it won't be a big deal, but I'm still nervous. She said it's like a bus limo, not sure what that means but I'm hoping that means forward facing seats. Now I don't know the rules for limos--are there seat belts?

The question I have is about RFing--he RFs still, and I'm really not ready to see him FF even for one day, especially considering I won't be the one driving. They said it's a short ride anyway and it's essentially just going across a parking lot. So if it were YOUR child and you were a strong believer in ERFing to the limits of the seat (as in I bought a new BLVD because his MA had the 33 lb limit just to get the 2 lbs), would you let him FF for this trip? Or keep him RFing?

And DH will be in the limo too, and I'm supposed to join them but that means letting MIL drive my car with the baby in there, which I'm not sure about.
 
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ADS

bubbaray

New member
Could you offer to take your DS and the flower girl in your vehicle? Honestly, if I were the bride, I'd probably kiss you for that. It would probably be easier to install car seats in a regular vehicle rather than a bus of some sort, KWIM?
 

minismom

Well-known member
Could you offer to take your DS and the flower girl in your vehicle? Honestly, if I were the bride, I'd probably kiss you for that. It would probably be easier to install car seats in a regular vehicle rather than a bus of some sort, KWIM?

I second that. After I read your post it didn't even occur to me this would be the same limo the bride would be riding, but if it is, you bet she'll be sitting on the only FF bench, cause that's the one place you can sit without sliding over, bending down etc. Unless there's something different about the bus limo that I'm missing.
Either way, installing the seats on the limo when you're all dressed up and ready to go might be a pain.
About RF or FF, I might let dd FF for one ride at this age if I really really had to, and I know I'd be freaking out about it. I don't see why it should matter though, the Blvd should install easily RF too, so I don't think there's any benefit to make it worth it to FF. I'm a RF nut too though!
 
Before I knew better. We had my son ride in a limo(3 years old at the time) doubled belted with another lil' 3 year old girl. OMG! Now, after knowing better that freaks me out!

I would just drive them(both). I bet she will *heart* you for that. :)
 

TechnoGranola

Forum Ambassador
Nope. I'd drive my child myself and tell them I would follow the limo. I'd also mention that I'd ensure my vehicle was washed and polished and if they were decorating the limo, I'd add some to my vehicle to match (okay, assuming I could attach them some place that wouldn't scratch the paint, I'm really particular about my vehicle :)).

There are just too many people worrying about themselves, their hair, their dresses, etc. and often people aren't even buckled in limos (how many people do you see sticking their head out the roof and waving?). Even if my child was buckled by me properly, I wouldn't want them to be injured/killed by unrestrained passengers in an accident. And even if I was promised that everyone was going to be belted and that the driver was a pro, etc. the day is just too busy and people will have so much on their mind that they could easily forget what they need to be safe.

I recall the little girl who was decapiptated by her seat belt after being hit by a drunk driver in a limo. The description of the accident with the family all piled up on top of one another was horrible. I'm guessing most weren't belted. http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/05/29/o.lifesaving.lesson/index.html
 

minismom

Well-known member
I recall the little girl who was decapiptated by her seat belt after being hit by a drunk driver in a limo. The description of the accident with the family all piled up on top of one another was horrible. I'm guessing most weren't belted. http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/05/29/o.lifesaving.lesson/index.html

Wow, what a horrible horrible story! I feel really bad for this family, but seriously, this stuff kinda ticks me off. Obviously the crash was the drunk drivers fault. And being hit head on by someone driving at 70mph is gonna cause a lot of damage. But the article says the family is going out there telling the story to try and stop drunk driving and save lives, so you'd think someone would mention the importance of being properly restrained. Of course, it's hard to tell what would have happened, but from the description none of these ppl were wearing a seatbelt, the 5yo was a lap child and the 7yo was lying down with the seatbelt on. Would she have been decapitated if she was in a harness or a booster? I don't know. And I know it's hard to take blame, but if they truly want to save lives this should be part of the message.

PS: good advice to the OP, I totally forgot about the issue of unrestrained passengers. I doubt any of the adults will wear a seatbelt in that limo, especially when gowns are involved :twocents:

Oh, and for my wedding, the flower kids got there before us and were in a separate room waiting with the rest of the wedding party.
 

MustangMama

Active member
Yeah, after reading that article- I would be hesitant to even let my child ride in a limo.

Rather safe than sorry.....:twocents:
 
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Neatfreak

New member
If it's seriously like walking across a parking lot, there's also the option of walking with the little children ...
 

zeo2ski

Well-known member
Wow, now I'm so glad I posted this question--I had really already decided to just RF him and I guess I was just looking for confirmation that I'm not crazy, lol, but I had not even considered the unrestrained passengers aspect!! Okay well that does it, he's riding with me!

The bride wanted the kids, the whole bridal party AND their spouses in the limo for "part of the fun" of the whole day, but I will call her and ask if I can take the other little girl too. I think my infant can still fit (height) in his SR so the flower girl could take his BLVD. Easy peasy. Thanks sooo much for all your input!

Besides this is january in upstate NY...as in ICE and snowy roads! And she said it was "essentially just going across the parking lot" which to me sounds like only crossing a couple roads.
 

The Bjorns

New member
The bride wanted the kids, the whole bridal party AND their spouses in the limo for "part of the fun" of the whole day
While it might be "fun" for the kiddos, I'm not sure ladies who spent a long time on their hair want small children potentially ruining it or trampling on fancy dresses. It's not easy getting situated in a limo in a big fancy pouffy dress and I for one wouldn't want to be trampled, even by one of my bridesmaids.

I LOVE the offer of you driving the children. It sounds like the simplest solution for everyone. You were not going to be in the limo anyway, so this way you can follow right behind and everyone gets there neat and pretty (not to mention safe and sound!).
 

Niea

New member
Great idea of driving yourself!

Now, if the bride is really picky and doesn't like the looks of your car, or something, you can always offer the suggestion of renting a Lincoln Towncar to transport the kids so that it'll "blend in" more with the Limo.

Just thought I'd throw that out there so that you have an answer in case she objects to you driving.
 

zeo2ski

Well-known member
Thanks all, I called the groom and he had absolutely no problem with me driving DS, and I threw out the offer to drive the flower girl too--for "less hassle" :whistle:
 

emandbri

Well-known member
I already know this is going to be an issue at my brother's wedding. I don't know if they are going to have a limo or not but how do you get girls into a 5-point harness in poofy flower girl dresses? My nieces are 6 and 4, the 6 year old is in a booster so it will be less of an issue. The 4 year old weighs 28 lbs so a booster is not an option and Elizabeth is over 30 lbs but she is 2 so a booster isn't an option for her either. Do we get the straps as tight as we can? Take the dresses off when in the car? I don't yet know if the dresses will have a build in petticoat or one we can slip off.
 

ketchupqueen

CPST and ketchup snob
Staff member
I already know this is going to be an issue at my brother's wedding. I don't know if they are going to have a limo or not but how do you get girls into a 5-point harness in poofy flower girl dresses? My nieces are 6 and 4, the 6 year old is in a booster so it will be less of an issue. The 4 year old weighs 28 lbs so a booster is not an option and Elizabeth is over 30 lbs but she is 2 so a booster isn't an option for her either. Do we get the straps as tight as we can? Take the dresses off when in the car? I don't yet know if the dresses will have a build in petticoat or one we can slip off.

Two options. I drive my girls to church in poofy fancy dresses every week-- all harnessed in Radians. :love:

1. Put shorts on them underneath the dress (or tights if they're okay with that-- I have one who HAS to have shorts, even over tights, or she complains. Gymboree sells all different colors of bicycle shorts that are great for this.) Pull the dress up, buckle the bottom, pull the skirt down on each side and buckle the chest clip. Try not to loosen the harness at all when you do this, I'm usually able to get it with a little effort. This may result in some wrinkles but in my experience they fall out within a few minutes, especially after a short drive. Because the torso of the dress is fitted it's not a compression issue like with coats, it's just fitting it in. :) This works for most dresses, I have had one or two that doesn't. The plus to this is if their hair is done there's less risk of messing it up, and everything can be done before hand.

2. Put them in undershirts and shorts (or if they're in tights, most girls are okay in just their tights and a undershirt) and then take the dress off and when you get there have it ready to slip on over the top. I've done this and it does work, although then you have the issue of a car full of poofy dresses. If you do this have their shoes already on, and as each one steps out of the car just slip it over her head. Have a few bobby pins and a comb ready to fix hair if need be.

Of course if the wedding and reception are at one place it's even easier; bring them in play clothes, get there early, change them there, and after the party's done, change them back out of the dresses to go home. :)
 

skaterbabs

Well-known member
For BIL's wedding what I did was bring Joy in shorts and a button-down shirt (so as to not pull anything over hear head). We got her dressed just before the photographer arrived so she wouldn't get dirty before the ceremony. Before she went home (my sister took them with her) we had her put her shorts back on. There really was no way to get her into her harness without rumpling the dress beyond repair. Not usually a concern for me, but this time was rather important. ;)

There are even a couple of pictures of her and me dancing together after she was changed.

Here she is in her dress:

n619498040_1122436_6312.jpg


And here she is out of it:

n619498040_1122873_608.jpg
 

emandbri

Well-known member
That is crazy. Hopefully the limo people will not let them put her in the limo without a seat but I'm betting they won't care. :(

I know what you mean about losing sleep over stuff like this, I'm totally the same way.

Lots of hugs!
 

TechnoGranola

Forum Ambassador
If she can ride in the grandparents car WITH a car seat, then why can't they (attempt to) install that same seat in the limo?
 

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