loaned out my nautli for months....

...do i even want it back.

I think my dh aunt has had my nautilus for about 4-5 months.

Auntie came to my house to pick up my boys and take them to the zoo. So I put their seats in her truck & gave her an extra seat (nautli) for a 4yo girl that had been sitting on a pillow & had the shoulder belt behind her back. The girl LOVED it.

When she dropped the boys off I let her keep the seat so the girl could ride the 20 min home safely. I found out later that she keeps the girl ALL the time. Some weekdays, weekends... all the time.

SO I said, cuz I'm nice, that she should hang onto it while she had this girl.

Well.... its 4-5 months later I still haven't gotten my seat back. I have seen it in her truck... she's moved it around a few times though. No idea if its installed right anymore.

(I'm a doormat... otherwise known as a people pleaser... I never stand up for myself and say NO)

Now I am wondering if I even WANT it back.

She is the type of person to tell me that the seat is pristine... that she never did anything to it... because if I can't tell, then it never happened... or because she didn't know she did anything wrong.

Like a spill... and a trip through the washing machine.
or sat in her open, damp, hot/cold garage for a few days/wks cuz she needed her backseat.
or carried it by the harness/tether...
or any other carseat nut/quirky things I'd NEVER do to my seats.

I have 2 boys... 2 & 4yo... 2 Nautili, 2 FPSVD, and 1 Scenera... 2 cars. Only ONE nautilit will install correctly in my car since I have a broken latchplate on one side & have to use a locking clip there. My FPSVD & Scenera are in a closet because DH just doesn't take the kids anywhere. So even though I have 5 seats only 2 of them ever get used.
My 2yo is close to the top slots on the Scenera though... so I'd have to buy another Nautili soon. SO me & DH could have seats for our cars at the same time.

I could GIVE her the suspicious Nautili... and it wouldnt hurt me carseat wise NOW... but dang I hate to give up the 150$ I shelled out for that sweet seat when ds2 is so close to outgrowing the Scenera.

Would you just give it to her.... who knows what has happened to it in that time... or am I being overly paranoid?

I don't WANT to ask her what she did w/ the seat... I don't like her & would rather just not worry about this anymore. I only loaned it to her for the sake of the kid she was driving around on a pillow.

BTW.... I have NO idea when she would give it back either. She hasn't mentioned it in months.

I'm NOT rich. This is a lot of money to us. If I want to go get another carseat dh will NOT stand in my way. He knows how I am when it comes to this and gave up arguing a long time ago.


I just don't feel right putting my kids in one of their own carseat cuz its been loaned out for 5 months and I just dont KNOW what has been done to it.

What would you do?

I'd give it to her, and tell her Merry Christmas (or Happy Hanukah, or whatever you celebrate.)

And then not loan her any more of my stuff.

I'd confirm that the seat hasn't been in an accident, and let her know that you'll need the seat back soon. Give her a specific date that you'll need it back by, and say that it should be plenty of time for her (or the girl's parents) to save up and buy a new seat or booster.

Then get the seat back.

If you're really worried about the harness being washed or whatever, it's a lot cheaper to buy a new harness from Graco than it is to buy a whole new seat.

BookMama said:

I'd confirm that the seat hasn't been in an accident, and let her know that you'll need the seat back soon. Give her a specific date that you'll need it back by, and say that it should be plenty of time for her (or the girl's parents) to save up and buy a new seat or booster.

Then get the seat back.

If you're really worried about the harness being washed or whatever, it's a lot cheaper to buy a new harness from Graco than it is to buy a whole new seat.

Click to expand...

ITA. I mean, if you CAN get a new one, then I would, but otherwise, I would get it back and just replace the harness

Thats a REALLY good point Andrea... researching that NOW. Maybe a new cover too since I need a spare for a Nautili... I plan to make the GN my primary seats after I get a new car.

I bet I could just buy her a $15 Graco LBB for the 4yo. She was OVER 40lbs and had a 17in long torso.... 5 months ago.

I normally live paycheck to paycheck... litterally. If we even make that. But we just got our xmas bonus and are doing slightly better. I have a little money to spend on my own xmas gift... and a carseat was what i wanted.


EDITED TO ADD: Harnesses are OUT OF STOCK.... now that I think about it they were Out of Stock last time I looked at the replacement parts too. hmm...wonder if they ever have em?

I bet if you called they'd be able to "find" one.

DiaSmall said:

Like a spill... and a trip through the washing machine.
or carried it by the harness/tether...
or any other carseat nut/quirky things I'd NEVER do to my seats.

Click to expand...

I don't have an opinion about what you should do in this situation, but I do have a couple of questions because I'm new to this forum and don't really know what you're talking about --

What would be wrong with washing the car seat cover? All the car seat manuals I have say the covers for my seats can be washed in the machine, can the cover for the nautilus not be washed? Or is it just the straps that can't be washed?

What would be the problem with carrying a car seat by the harness? I've never done this because I have a car seat carrying bag, but it seems like carrying it by the harness would be the only practical way to carry a car seat any distance. Is it harmful?

Thanks for helping me learn, and good luck with your situation!

It's important to follow the carseat manufacturer's instructions for cleaning and carrying the carseat, much the same way it's important to follow the instructions for proper installation and usage.

There's generally nothing wrong with washing the carseat cover as long as the manufacturer's instructions are followed, be it to hand wash or to machine wash, and it's also important to follow the instructions for properly drying the cover to avoid damaging/shrinking or affecting the cover's anti-flammability properties.

Machine washing/machine drying the harness is not good because it can stretch out the harness straps/compromise the fibers in the harness, and also compromise the flame retardant properties of the harness straps.

Carrying the seat by the harness straps, lower LATCH straps or top tether strap is also not recommended because it can compromise the integrity of the harness.

skueppers said:

I don't have an opinion about what you should do in this situation, but I do have a couple of questions because I'm new to this forum and don't really know what you're talking about --

What would be wrong with washing the car seat cover? All the car seat manuals I have say the covers for my seats can be washed in the machine, can the cover for the nautilus not be washed? Or is it just the straps that can't be washed?

What would be the problem with carrying a car seat by the harness? I've never done this because I have a car seat carrying bag, but it seems like carrying it by the harness would be the only practical way to carry a car seat any distance. Is it harmful?

Thanks for helping me learn, and good luck with your situation!

Click to expand...

I think she's more worried about the harness being washed than the cover. A harness can not be soaked, it should only be spot cleaned with water or mild detergent.

A harness (like a seatbelt) is designed to stretch a little in a crash to help you ride down the crash forces. It doesn't seem stretchy to us, but with the forces put on it in a crash it would be. So carrying the seat by the harness can wear on it and cause it to stretch. Once the harness has stretched, it can't be used anymore.

I agree with others. Get the seat back (soon), and call Graco to buy a new harness.

Thanks for the information, I appreciate it!

I asked her for my seat back & will just replace the harness... asap.
I probably will eventually replace both their covers... I plan to use these seats until my kids outgrow them completely!




What really peeved me off... was we went to gmas house yesterday and she was there WITH the 4yo girl.... but the Nautilus was NOT in her truck. WTH????

Why borrow the seat, keep it for months... tell me it never left ur truck... and then let me catch u driving her around w/o anything.

I bought her a low back turbo booster for the 4yo girl. I got the one in the plastic storage bag. I opened it up, put the arms on, and got it ready for her to just throw in her truck. MAYBE she can use a seat that is that simple.