Carpooling kid won't use a booster

Sunkisses

New member
Hi guys! Back again with an issue. I recently started a carpool with the next door neighbors because my daughters school bus was in another accident(2 in less than a year). Well, the neighbors just moved here (NC) from California where I guess the car seat laws are different. It is the law here that you have to be 8 or 80 pounds here before you can just use a seatbelt. Well, the kid told me he was 8, but I just found out by his mother that he won't officially be 8 until the end of February. He is probably 10 pounds shy of the weight minimum, too. She knows the law now because I send my daughters booster everyday and she asked why she was still in one. She just made a face and did not say anything else. That was more than a week ago and she still hasn't put her son in a booster and I don't think she plans on it. But, I told him he will have to use one while riding in my car from now on, and he argued with me about it all the way home. I know I am going to have to take this up with his mother since he is outright refusing, but I don't want them to get upset with me and quit the carpool since I really need their help right now. Plus, they live right next to me so I don't wanan fight with. How should I approach this without coming off like a judgemental b**ch?

BTW- the father asked if there was a helmet law for bicycle riders because he noticed all the neighborhood kids wearing them. At the time, I didn't know if it was law, but I just found out it is while doing research so I would like to mention that, too. But again, don't want to seem like a judgemental know it all.

Thanks!
 
ADS

Maedze

New member
You've all ready told her the child is required by law to be in a booster. You can give her this to help her understand the mechanics (just print it out)

http://www.carseat.org/Boosters/630.pdf

As for the kid himself, he's seven? I personally wouldn't tolerate that sass from a little kid. Tell him, "In my car, you ride in a booster because it's not safe for you to ride without one. It's not open for discussion. You are not going to argue with me. Rules are rules." and move in.


I can't believe a 7 year old has the nerve to give an adult he doesn't know that well lip :eek:
 

LISmama810

Admin - CPS Technician
Right now you have the law on your side, so that's always a good excuse. "Sorry, but it's the law that you have to be in a booster seat, and I can't break the law with my car."

The real issue will be in February when he turns 8 and is no longer "required" to be in a booster. I would print out the 5-step test, and go with a "my car, my rules" stance. You can be direct and assertive without being mean or judgmental.

Just say something like, "I know little Bobby doesn't use a booster in your car, but in mine, the seatbelt doesn't fit him properly without it. I could never live with myself if something happened to him because of that, so I need him to stay in a booster in my car. I'm sure you understand." What parent can argue with that? (Ok, they CAN, and maybe will, but hopefully they'll just go along with it rather than making it into an issue.)
 

Kat_Momof3

New member
He's SEVEN.... if he was giving me that amount of lip, I'd be talking to his mother, after having informed him that backtalk and arguing with a grownup who is in charge is NOT acceptable (unless of course the person is wanting him to do something bad).

I would go over (with him and then with his parents) the 5-step test for the seatbelt and let them know that whatever decision they make is their business (it is, unfortunately), but that, in your car, you don't require best practice, but you do require kids to use boosters until they pass the 5-step test.

Then it will be in their court as to whether or not to continue to let him ride with you.

But I wouldn't think twice about making any of my son's friends (who are all a good deal shorter than him, as Damian is just a giant, as most on here know), ride in a booster in my vehicle.

My car, my rules. Now, I wouldn't ever tell someone they couldn't use a seat... as long as they meet the requriements and the seat is safe to use, but you get my point... I want everyone to ride within the minimum safety rules.... and that means going by 4'9" to go booster free.
 

Brendan's Mom

New member
Wow!! I can't believe that little boy argued with you.

The extra seat in my car is a harnessed seat (regent or GN) and I require all kids in my car be harnessed (if they meet the requirements). I have many kids who ride in boosters in their family car, but are harnessed in my car. No one has ever complained, parents or child. I am sorry you are in a weird position, but I would tell them in your car you follow the laws. Good Luck!!
 

lukensophie

Senior Community Member
Hi! I can not imagine getting lip from a seven year old about riding in a booster in my car. I think that may be how you have to address it with these parents because obviously the law and physics don't seem to matter to them. You'll have to find other angles to make the rules stick. Explain to them that in your car, you have rules and the first rule covers safety, the second rule covers covers behavior and that their son isn't willing to comply. That puts it back on them. That way, it's not about you, but about their son. Also, explain to them that you do not want to be held accountable if there were to ever be an accident and their child were not properly restrained.
 
I get lip from my 7 year old daycare boy about having to ride in a booster in my car(in his car he rides in the front seat with the seatbelt behind him)... He is a big boy at 130 pounds, but he so doesn't pass the 5-step test. I get lip from him all the time. I talked to his mom and she said he is big he is fine. I say, My car my rules the end.

The boy knows this. I tell him if he argues with me, he can find another daycare provider. :whistle: That shuts him up ;-)

My van is my rules. My 12 year old nephew rides in a booster in my van and he rides in nothing in mom's car. He gave me lip at first now, nothing he knows my rules my car.
 

ketchupqueen

CPST and ketchup snob
Staff member
I agree with the "my car, my rules." "I'm sorry, but if you won't use the booster and use it properly, I'll have to call your mom to come get you, because you can't ride in my car without it, and I don't think she'll be happy."
 

skaterbabs

Well-known member
Your car, your rules. Kid uses a booster until s/he passes the Five Step Test or the parents find another way for the child to get to school.


Five Step Test

1. Does the child sit all the way back against the auto seat?
2. Do the child's knees bend comfortably at the edge of the auto seat?
3. Does the belt cross the shoulder between the neck and arm?
4. Is the lap belt as low as possible, touching the thighs?
5. Can the child stay seated like this for the whole trip?


The un-official sixth step is: Do the child's feet rest comfortably on the floor? This is because if the feet are flat on the floor, the child tends to slouch.

The most important step is step four - the lap belt can cause massive internal injuries if it's too high on the tummy. The shoulder belt rubbing the neck is a comfort issue and doesn't affect safety unless the child tucks it behind them or under the arm.
 

4boysmom

New member
Um FWIW I think the CA law IS 8 or 80 as well AND we do have a helmet law too, so I think they are just plain unaware, or playing dumb to "keep the peace" as there were the same laws in CA while they were there as well..

NM I guess it is 6 and 60, too much "Keep Big Brother out of my life!!!!!!!!!!" in CA for 8/80 to have passed I guess...
 

LISmama810

Admin - CPS Technician
Um FWIW I think the CA law IS 8 or 80 as well AND we do have a helmet law too, so I think they are just plain unaware, or playing dumb to "keep the peace" as there were the same laws in CA while they were there as well..

NM I guess it is 6 and 60, too much "Keep Big Brother out of my life!!!!!!!!!!" in CA for 8/80 to have passed I guess...

CA is actually 6 OR 60, not "and." So that makes the law apply to even fewer kids.
 
California actually passed the law in both the California Senate and House, twice. It was our dear Governor that vetoed it both times saying that it was unnessary and that education would be better than passing a more restrictive law. The law is indeed, 6 or 60 (see California Vehicle Code section 27360).

California Vehicle Code section 21212 is the bicyle helmet law and states in part: (a) A person under 18 years of age shall not operate a bicycle, a nonmotorized scooter, or a skateboard, nor shall they wear in-line or roller skates, nor ride upon a bicycle, a nonmotorized scooter, or a skateboard as a passenger, upon a street, bikeway, as defined in Section 890.4 of the Streets and Highways Code, or any other public bicycle path or trail unless that person is wearing a properly fitted and fastened bicycle helmet that meets the standards of either the American Society for Testing and Materials (ASTM) or the United States Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC), or standards subsequently established by those entities. This requirement also applies to a person who rides upon a bicycle while in a restraining seat that is attached to the bicycle or in a trailer towed by the bicycle.
 
Wow. If a DCP said that to my almost-7-year-old, I *would* be finding another DCP.
This boy is full of lip...he is always saying how he is getting a new daycare provider because he hates the booster seat and hates that I feed him vegetables and healthy food :whistle: I love this boy dearly, but you have to be straight forward with him......it is the only way(mom agrees and knows I have said this to him).
 

cdncasper

New member
One of my friends little guy was the exact same, not happy at all that at 6 yrs old I was making him sit in a booster since he doesn't sit in anything when driving with mom or gramma. I told him he had a choice, sit in the Radian and be harnessed or sit in the booster. He always chose the booster (though had to sit in the Radian once when I didn't have a booster for him) and even now at 8 yrs knows that in my car he sits in a booster.
My friend knows this and doesn't say a word to me especially since this is the same friend and child that was in my van when I was rear ended by a drunk guy when J was not quite 4 yrs old. I had put him in a harnessed seat even though mom wanted him in his booster. She was very thankful that I had him properly restrained (too bad it didn't stick for her)

I always go by My Car, My Rules. Under 2 AND 30lbs goes RF, Under 5 AND 45lbs goes in harness (unless I can't put all in a harness than oldest/biggest goes in booster), booster until seatbelt fits properly, under 14 yrs goes in the backseat.
 

Adventuredad

New member
I can't force any other parent to use a booster or car seat but it's very simple in my car. Car seat or kid is not going in the car. I have an extra HBB which we use for all "visitors" and so far I have not had anyone refuse. It would be kind of funny if someone did though since I feel very strongly about this. :whistle:
 

Victorious4

Senior Community Member
My daughter gives grownups some serious attitude when they don't let her keep herself safe :whistle: But, other than that, she's the kid in the neighborhood that other parents *want* to come over because she helps the families get their chores done :love:

I left my own sister & niece at the mall without a ride because they didn't want my then 6 yr old niece to use the booster. I've also turned friends away after offering to carpool because they refused to let their kids use boosters. Oh well. I'm not wiling to face the legal or emotional retribution should another driver decide to crash into us at that moment.

Maybe I deserved being called names then, but I had already informed the adults that I would not let the kids ride without a safety seat. IMO, they're the ones that wasted my time :twocents:
 

skaterbabs

Well-known member
I'm not wiling to face the legal or emotional retribution should another driver decide to crash into us at that moment.

Exactly.

And a case could be made legally that as a tech any child injured while in my care because I was using less than Best Practice (even if within legal limits) is my fault. I would (rightly so, IMO) be held to a higher standard.
 

Victorious4

Senior Community Member
And a case could be made legally that as a tech any child injured while in my care because I was using less than Best Practice (even if within legal limits) is my fault. I would (rightly so, IMO) be held to a higher standard.

Yes. My neighbor asked me "Are you like a mandated reporter if you see us not using a seat?" I said "kind of like that" & changed the subject back to Best Practice. I'm not legally required to call the police for illegal nonuse, but I do it because I care. Not only for the kids' safety, but also for the emotional & financial well being of everyone in the family. A ticket is nothing compared to a life of surguries & physical therapy, etc. for kids who survive crashes, let alone what happens when they don't survive.
 

skaterbabs

Well-known member
Precisely. We are to be responsible with our talents, whatever they are. In the case of a CPST, we have (or SHOULD have) access to information the general public may not. Therefore we have a responsibility to share that information and a responsibility to apply that knowledge in our lives.
 

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