saying something

stephie1012 · Nov 18, 2008

Do you every say something to parents when there children arent in the proper seats? I have been debating if i should open my mouth or leave it alone. DD is 3yrs old and in her preschool class there are kids riding in no back booster and HBB. DD is one of the biggest in her school these other kids are kinda tiny i would say not even 35lbs yet. I was just shocked to see so many in those seats. I think there is only maybe 3 other kids that are still harnessed.

VirginiaDavis · Nov 18, 2008

Ive tried, and gotten really rude responses so I dont anymore

For some reason, parents take it like your insulting them, when your just trying to help ya know? I know, Ive been GLAD to learn more about this stuff, so my kids are as safe as they can be.

mykidsmylife · Nov 18, 2008

You should talk to the director and see if you can bring in fliers to pass out. That is what I did.
We even had a family at Seths daycare with a 13m old, 2 yr old and 5 yr old in no car seats at all..

wendytthomas · Nov 18, 2008

Depends on how bad and who they are. Unless I've been asked in an official capacity at Piper's school, though, no. And even then I've only spoken to one person who didn't ask. He was dropping off his daughter's seat for a field trip and I saw the red lockoffs and the old base and knew his Roundabout was expired. I told him so, told him to call Britax (I find people take the news better that they're screwing up if it's not just me saying it, if they call the 800 number someone else will tell them too) and his daughter borrowed one of my seats for the trip. But in North Carolina that seat is illegal to use (proper use state). But otherwise, no. I tell Piper, though. I told one child, actually. One of the kids I was driving for Piper's field trip came without a booster. He used one of mine. He's seven years old and no way would he pass the five step test. So I told him, he told his mom, and the headmaster called me while his mom was at the school and I told her about NC state law and the five step test. I don't know what happened. The school is very on board about me helping out, so if I ran my mouth off and told just about every car about their errors they'd back me, but it's too exhausting.

Wendy

stephie1012 · Nov 18, 2008

yea i have said somethings as far as winter coats go to 2 of the mothers, they thought if u just readjusted to tighten around the coat it was okay. i cant tell if stuff is expired bc its mostly no back boosters. the one mom did tell me her son is using his older brothers seat and i told her to check the expiration. I have enough trouble getting friends to listen to me let alone strangers lol

NannyMom · Nov 18, 2008

I've been considering saying something to some I know that has a 4 year old in a HBB. The Mom knows I'm a tech. I may bring it up like.... "I'm concerned because I recently heard another news story about a 3 year old being ejected from a booster (that accident in IL)." I would feel terrible if anything happened to that child and I never said anything. If I say something, at least it was her informed choice.

Just be prepared for the parent to be angry....they see it as you attacking their parenting skills.

oursonend · Nov 18, 2008

The few times I have mentioned issues to friends, the best reception was when I cited the law. They were resistant (you know, "lalalalala!" syndrome) to hearing about terrible accidents and deaths of other children. But they seemed to appreciate the information presented when I phrased "under the law bla blah blah so you should do xyz."

I like that presenting it that way keeps it from being personal, so it's not like I am personally judging or "busting" them, but merely warning them and giving constructive tips on how to avoid legal/traffic ticket/etc issues. I will throw in "besides, it's safer with a harness" but I won't go into detail unless prompted.

I remember when I had DD in a tiny (expired) seat (didn't know the difference at the time) and a friend was like "OMG your carseats way too freakin small!!! You need a new one ASAP!!" and I just tuned her out and felt indignant about it. I find there is much better reception when things are presented as factoids. I personally respond much better to gentle "did you knows" and the like, and I find I have better luck with others this way too (not just about carseats, about many things).

NannyMom · Nov 18, 2008

The problem is.... WHere I live, a child can be in a booster as soon as they meet the min requirements (ie- 30 pounds/ 40 pounds).

oursonend said:
The few times I have mentioned issues to friends, the best reception was when I cited the law. They were resistant (you know, "lalalalala!" syndrome) to hearing about terrible accidents and deaths of other children. But they seemed to appreciate the information presented when I phrased "under the law bla blah blah so you should do xyz."

I like that presenting it that way keeps it from being personal, so it's not like I am personally judging or "busting" them, but merely warning them and giving constructive tips on how to avoid legal/traffic ticket/etc issues. I will throw in "besides, it's safer with a harness" but I won't go into detail unless prompted.

I remember when I had DD in a tiny (expired) seat (didn't know the difference at the time) and a friend was like "OMG your carseats way too freakin small!!! You need a new one ASAP!!" and I just tuned her out and felt indignant about it. I find there is much better reception when things are presented as factoids. I personally respond much better to gentle "did you knows" and the like, and I find I have better luck with others this way too (not just about carseats, about many things).

oursonend · Nov 18, 2008

NannyMom said:
The problem is.... WHere I live, a child can be in a booster as soon as they meet the min requirements (ie- 30 pounds/ 40 pounds).

In that case, I would still offer the info, just hold back on the details until there is interest. Maybe say "You know, he doesn't have to be put in a booster yet." Implying that booster is the negative and "freeing them" to do something else might be inspiring. If they ask why, or say "but I thought..." then offer "well, yes you CAN, it's just safer not to until they're older." ETA and maybe say "there is a risk of the belt coming undone or internal injuries from the seatbelt if they are on the small size of 40lbs (or whatever weight)". IMO saying that isn't so dramatic that it activates the "it will never happen to me" sensors, kwim?

Or a simple "have you thought about keeping him in a harnesses seat longer? I hear it's safer, I did some reading on xyz that you might want to check out."

Generally the least confrontational method that still gets the gist across.

I'm interested in reading all the other ways people suggest things for reference in future scenarios.

oursonend · Nov 18, 2008

Another thought, you could potentially use consumerism to your advantage in some cases.

"Oh, have you heard about all the amazing new carseats they've just come out with? They harness to 65 lbs so now we won't be forced to switch to a booster so early anymore. Oh ya, I saw them at Target, they're selling like hotcakes... my so-and-so just replaced her Britax seat with one and she loves it" etc.

That approach will not work on those who are in a crunch financially, but for some it might work. Lots of people welcome the next must-have kid thing for their LOs.

safeinthecar · Nov 18, 2008

Depending on the level of danger I'll say something or leave a note on the windshield.

I did leave a note about a shield booster on one of the teacher's cars at school a couple of weeks ago. Next day the shield booster was gone and a Britax Cruiser was in it's place:shrug-shoulders: It's an improvement anyway

ketchupqueen · Nov 19, 2008

I say something a lot of times, if I get an opening, about expired seats, outgrown seats, kids who should be RF, and kids who are not buckled correctly. One in 3 times I get a rude response or blown off. One in three I get a polite but apathetic or non-response. One in three I get a very grateful response and a committment to change it. I don't know if I'm really good at picking my battles, live in an area where parents are more responsive, or am just lucky...

sparkyd · Nov 19, 2008

I said something to a grandmother at daycare the other day, but I ended up wishing I hadn't. There were two boys (one 3 and one 5) in the car, and they kind of look alike. I thought the 3 year old was on my side and I saw grandma buckling him in with the seatbelt over the car seat. From my angle the car seat looked like a FF convertible seat and I was thinking that either the seat wasn't installed with LATCH and they were just using the seat belt on top or that maybe they were doing both. Anyway, I stopped and asked and found out the seat is installed with LATCH and realized belatedly that it was the 5 year old in that seat and she said it was a booster. I felt like total idiot and figure I'll just keep my mouth shut from now on. The grandma was really good about it, thank goodness.

I still wonder about the seat though. It totally looked like a convertible seat, kind of like a Marathon. Has anyone ever seen people use a convertible like a booster? Like maybe take the harness straps out and just use the seat belt? I can't imagine that, but I swear that seat didn't look like a booster. Or maybe I am just looking for a way to not feel so foolish...

saying something

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