Good News!

I got a phone call this morning from child protective services and my FIL and SMIL have completed all the necessary testing and evaluations and are going to be allowed to have Alex come back to them. So in less than two weeks we'll be a family of one or three depending on how things go! She's supposed to officially move on June 25th but we'll probably begin moving her stuff out early so we can use her room for the baby stuff as we now have a TON of it! Our adoption of her hadn't finalized b/c of the adoption of Ryan and that meant some paper work had to be resubmitted with the correct info and then reprocessed. FIL didnt think he'd get her back b/c he's been charged with child abuse twice from when DF was a kid and his oldest daughter had made several allegations but never pressed charges but apparently the state found no evidence of abuse and has decided to move her back. Now our adoption papers have to be retracted for Alex and Resubmitted for Ryan b/c our situation has changed!

I've already decided to send along most of her stuff including her car seat. We could use it its true but her other seat expires very soon and i dont want her in a booster so to prevent that i'm going to give them her marathon. I'm hoping they'll use it until she outgrows in (they did with the vantage point even thought they hated it) and then she can have the TB i bought her back before x-mas!

Oh and more good news, there's a CPST class here again in august. Unfortunately i dont know if i can take it b/c i dont know when i'll have the twins and i cant take it until after 6 weeks postpartum. I have to have these babies by the end of the month to take it. I'm going to register tonight b/c it only has 10 available seats and if i can take it i will b/c its the last class until next year around me. If i cant take it i will transfer my seat to my SIL who wants to take it. I'm hoping to be up for the class but i have no idea if i will be (its so easy to say "oh i'm a strong determined person i will be fine after labor" but its impossible to know for sure) Being pregnant has affected my back tremendously (sculious has worsened severely) and after labor i'm going to have to wear a hard plastic brace to help my spine go back to its proper location but i know i can wear it and take the classes b/c i wore one in middle school for 4 years and it never held me back (unless they want me to do crunches thats the only thing i couldnt do)

Excuse my long rambling, the kids are both asleep and there's nothing else quiet to do!

Alex

Dreaming,

I thought your intention was to adopt Alex. You must feel sad to be letting her go with all the time you have invested in making her life better, no t.v., car seat usage etc. Is Alex happy about returning home and will you have regular visitation with her?

How are the twins doing?

Heather

We did want to adopt her but it was more to keep her with her family than our want to raise her as our own. Since the day she came to use there have been different rules and things b/c she's not ours she's his sister. We thought by this point it wouldnt be so but its been very hard on us. With Ryan she was instantly like our little girl who had been there since day one but it wasnt like that with Alex, there was always that underlying feeling that she wasnt ours. I do feel sad and i will miss her tremendously. Her mother has said how much happier Alex is now when she comes to play and agrees she's better off with the no tv and a bed time but i think she plans on going back to co sleeping which upsets me b/c i worked so hard to get her out of my bed then my bedroom. She's finally sleeping in her room without waking me up at night. Her mom was never terrible about car seats but she wasnt great about them either. She did alright installs and kept the harness tighten enough and the chest clip ok but she had a bad seat and let the straps get nasty. Her parents were the ones who she allowed to do awful things in the car. Thankfully the courts have mandated she cant leave them with alex alone or anyone else who isnt court approved. They did not pass court approval and arent supposed to watch any children alone but her family could careless and still leaves them with 6 kids in their deathtrap (i mean house!) SMIL has sworn to the courts she wont use them to babysit so i dont think she will.

We dont have a court ordered visitation but b/c they are part of my fiance's family we already see them a lot so i dont think we'd need it. we see them at least once a week and i assume that will increase when the twins get her (but they had better quit smoking before they are born or they wont be holding their grandchildren. I told them when i got pregnant i wasnt taking them to smoking places or letting smokers who smell of smoke hold them. )

The twins are ready and waiting to come out. They've been head down for at least 2 weeks but no big contractions yet. My doctor says any day now but he's been saying that for a long time and has suggested inducing them twice. My new doctor thinks within a week i should have them. He doesnt want to hold off labor at this point b/c my body is really taking a toll at this point and has suggested i do nonmandatory bed rest (yeah like i would do that again!). The sooner the babies come the better for my back.

Oh i registered for the class so everyone hold your fingers crossed i make it in time!

Your twins are going to be preemies? At this point they have a good chance to survive but in no way should you want them born this early. Aren't you only 30wks? They will be in the nicu for at least a few weeks. My son was a preemie at 35wks and that was horrible, he only spent 11 days in the NICU. I know twins are different and very hard in the last weeks but your babies could die if they are born this early so you shouldn't be hoping for any day.

Rachel

i think it is so wonderful how many of you open your homes (and hearts) to foster and adoptive children.

I agree with Rachel. I'm reading and re-reading your post with my mouth hanging open. Any doctor who has suggested TWICE to induce you before 30 weeks for a non-life-threatening reason should be disbarred. I am in awe that you are so bubbly about the prospect of having preemie twins, and so anxious to take a very physical week-long class so soon after giving birth to preemie twins.

Wow. I can't keep up with what is going on there. But I'm glad you're happy.

Nothing wrong with cosleeping. Most children, ESPECIALLY those who have had a rough time at the start, need the companionship and the comfort of other people around them. If I adopted a child who had seen tough times I would cosleep with them if they were open to it for as long as they needed to. At least with them in the room. It's been shown to do wonderful things for children with past trauma of any sort. Certainly if an adopted or foster child told me they needed to sleep in my room I'd work something out, depending on the age, gender, and needs of the child and of me.

I can't imagine taking a class so soon after giving birth to twins. Six weeks is about when your milk supply is finally going to be regulated, and to go away for 40 hours one week can't help. Plus if they're in the hospital or sick or need additional care because of when they come, then it'd be tough to have planned something already after they came. If you were a first time mom I could see you being optimistic like that, but already knowing that a newborn takes out of you, nevermind two? I wouldn't plan anything before 2007 if I was expecting twins this summer. LOL I would hope to go to many things, but I wouldn't give a definite ok for a long long time.

Wendy

I'm 33 weeks (i think i might be 32 I'd have to get the calender), 35 is pretty much standard for twins. My doctor is nuts but i've known that for months now and after i give birth i plan on contacting the medical board about him. He put me in the hospital a few weeks ago and after three days of nothing he wanted to start inducing me b/c of stress on the babies. I refused and made the nurses find me another doctor. After being seen by two other doctors i was discharged b/c i was normal. He suggested it again at our last weekly appointment but that was it he didnt act apon it (if anything he was joking b/c he asked "are you sure you dont want to be induced" but with this guy who can tell?). i was 30 weeks at the first mention of it and 33 at the second. My other doctor is now over seeing everything this man does concerning my case. He's great and is very involved. I just wish he didnt keep talking c-section. He thinks its better for them than the stress of labor but his c-section percentage is rather high. I'll have one if he says i need it and can give me a reason thats life threatening but not b/c he 'feels' its best.

I wont say i am bubbly about them coming i just cant wait to get them out of me. I hurt in about a million places and i feel like hell. I want to be done. I've been setting myself up for the NICU stay since i found out i was pregnant, i know it will be terrible while they are there. My doctor seems to think they wont require a long stay there, they continue to be on track with a single pregnancy and appear very healthy and strong.

As for the class, it cant be much more physical than what i do on a weekly basis. I move my seats at least once a week b/c we switch cars or some one babysits for us or we ride with someone. If i can put two marathons in a tiny 2 door at 33 weeks pregnant i think i can manage taking the class. If i'm not up to it i have someone to take my place. I'm not sure i can do it but if i can i'm not missing my second opportunity. I am very aware of the fact its unlikely i can do it i know but if i have to at least try. I have no idea how i'll feel after labor but i dont think 6 weeks is a considerable amount of time after labor. I'm planning on going back to school when the fall semester starts which is the week following the class, which means they'll begin daycare at that point too if the pedi ok's it. How long did you guys wait to begin doing stuff after labor? our maternity leave time is 6 weeks but many of the women i know went back sooner b/c they needed the money. Were you ladies able to wear normal pants after labor? I cant decide what to pack to wear to and from the hospital (let alone what they should wear! I couldnt pick a size so i packed 5 each of preemie, newborn, and 3 months for each baby and decided i could have someone bring me more if needed.) I was able to wear bigger than my usual size pants for a while b/c most of my stuff is low waisted but i wasnt sure if after labor that would work. Why doesnt someone write a book about this?

At this point we're not ready for the twins to come, we have 2 babies come and 4 names picked out! How do i pick just 2? We have our son's name ready its "Riley Justin" but we have three girl name ideas "Shirley Raine" "Cecilia Jess" and "Cadence Nicole" The first ones are both names we got from ppl who are important to use and the third is just one we like. We also havent finished the nursery b/c i havent picked out my final crib set. If we live here with all three is one room i want Wendy bellissimo honey bee but if we move we plan on putting them in different rooms and i want to do wendy's vintage tea berry in the girls room and vintage fire truck in Riley's. (can you tell i love wendy's stuff???) I wish we werent still debating on moving in august but a two bedroom apartment is very small with 3 babies and all their stuff.

Wow, i've been writing for forever! Its so great when my MIL watches the kids! But i do have diapers that need washing (which reminds me, does anyone know if the NICU/hospital allows for cloth diapers? I dont want to pack them if they cant wear them, that is if they fit. We're using fuzzi bunz)

Ok i just finsihed my post but i'll reply to wendy before getting up.

As for Alex cosleeping, i agree there's nothing wrong with it. But our courts disagree. Her parents were reprimanded for having sex in the same room and allowing her to sleep in their bed (reversed their decision later but they were nearly charged with a sex offender charge) I am a very wild sleeper and i would NEVER allow a child to sleep in my bed simily b/c it would be dangerous. DF is a heavy sleeper, he doesnt wake up if i push or shake him until he's had 9 hours of sleep. If he were to roll on top of a child he would never know. It took us forever to get used to sleeping together and we still have issues and arguments about our sleeping arrangment, i wouldnt want to bring a child into it. She slept in our room for a long time when she came here but between her twin bed, the playnpack ryan sleeps in, our own bed and the dresser our room was just plain too full! Our apartment has a tiny master bedroom (12 X 11) so we started to move her out so we could prepare to get the room ready to put the twins stuff in there. First she slept just outside the door then she decided she wanted to sleep with her dolls so we moved her into her own room. She's actually really happy there and sleeps much better. I have a hard time falling asleep (as you can tell by my posts at 2 am) so she didnt sleep well in there b/c i would get up a lot or come in the room late.

I've been lactating for at least a month. I thought that would help my milk production. I'm planning on pumping exclusively so hopefully by then i've got it down pretty well and can pump during class (in the bathroom not class room) I bought a hospital grade pump off ebay (48 dollars! cheaper than a manual medela!)

The only definite i have is starting my college classes again. I'd like to finish my bachelor before they start kinder garden. I'm about a year away from my associate and 3 from my bachelor if i continue my current course and take a full load.

How is it you are 33wks? Did you get pg a few weeks before you had a m/c? So your dr started talking inducing three weeks ago at 27wks? You don't ovulate when you are pg so its pretty much impossible for you to be 33wks. If you have a c/s you will not be taking that class anytime soon. You can't even drive for 2 weeks.

As for what to pack for each kid, one preemie outfit each is all you will need. There is no way you would need size 3 months. Unless you plan on them being in the nicu until they are 10lbs each.

Really you need to start getting your stories straight. There are just too many holes for anyone to believe you anymore. How many times have you promised pictures of things but never posted pictures? I would suggest doing more research on things before you make up such elaborate stories about them.

Rachel

Aside from leaving your preemie twins, which is uncomprehensionable to all moms I know (My DD was in the NICU and being in a room away from her was hard enough!) don't you think you'll miss quite a bit of class to pump? I know when I took the class DD was 6 months old and I used our lunch break to pump using a double electric. It takes at least 15-20 minutes to set up, pump, and put away. We didn't get other breaks other than to use the washroom quickly if needed. All participants had be at the class 100% of the time--no taking calls, coming late, or leaving early. We were told we would not complete the class if this happened. It was quite hard to go so long without nursing/pumping and I am sure if you are nursing newborn twins this will NOT be sufficient. In addition, the change in pumping/nursing at this stage will mess with your supply-not a risk worth taking. I'm sure you want to help others, but this is the time to put your own children first. From experience, take time, enjoy your babies. 6 weeks postpartum when dealing with preemie twins is not the time to taking a class like this where you will be entrusted with little lives. Sure, you have learned a lot here, but I'd feel more condident in a tech that is well rested and can pay full attention in class. Don't play the martyr and take the class. It may be a long time before you can take it again, but in the long run it will be doing the right thing.

Sharlene
CPST since 8/03

I've been lactating for at least a month. I thought that would help my milk production. I'm planning on pumping exclusively so hopefully by then i've got it down pretty well and can pump during class (in the bathroom not class room) I bought a hospital grade pump off ebay (48 dollars! cheaper than a manual medela!)

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That is a great deal! I know double electric pumps are quite spendy. Luckily we were able to rent one through the local health department.

I'm confused, though. Are you already pumping to get your milk supply going?

scatterbunny said:

That is a great deal! I know double electric pumps are quite spendy. Luckily we were able to rent one through the local health department.

I'm confused, though. Are you already pumping to get your milk supply going?

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I was confused about this too. If she's at risk for preterm labor, she shouldn't put anything near her nipples! Not to mention it doesn't matter how much she pumps now, her body won't make milk until after the babies come. She can't get her supply up now if she wanted to.

DOS: I don't think six weeks post partum after a vaginal birth is too soon to do physical labor, but I think it's WAY too early to leave babies! ESPECIALLY as you'll likely have them early and they may have special medical needs. Plus you'll be exhausted, if you're not nursing them you're going to be pumping eight to twelve times a day, even in the middle of the night. They're not going to be sleeping through at six weeks (again, especially if they're preemies, they're going to need nutrition in that 12 hour stretch) and from what I've heard it takes about that long for moms to get a rhythm down with twins and get the twins on some sembelence of a schedule with each other. I think evey attempting the class is insane. It can wait until your kids are older. That's why I meant by not scheduling anything for a long time after their birth. You're going to be far too busy just being a mom to have time for a 40 hour class.

Wendy

scatterbunny said:

That is a great deal! I know double electric pumps are quite spendy. Luckily we were able to rent one through the local health department.

I'm confused, though. Are you already pumping to get your milk supply going?

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I don't think you can do that...... that would be kinda like nipple stimulation which is a natural way to produce a pitocin(sp?) like chemical...... maybe causing pre-term labor.....just my 2 cents....

blue_nova said:

I don't think you can do that...... that would be kinda like nipple stimulation which is a natural way to produce a pitocin(sp?) like chemical...... maybe causing pre-term labor.....just my 2 cents....

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Yes, I know--but the way her post sounds, I had to wonder and ask.

I can't comment on breastfeeding (though I can say that I was lactating with my second from about 5 months on. [er, 5 months pregnant]). Did she say she was pumping or just that she'd bought a pump?

I can comment on school. I have yet to go back since my second was born but I had him 8 weeks into a 16 week semester, while it wasn't a particularly difficult load (12 credits), things were a lot more complicated.

Are you planning to attend the fall semester? It would be hard with one baby, I couldn't imagine doing it with two. Considering most schools start in August...

Just saying, it's doable, but if you're planning to be both a stellar student and a stellar mother, it might not happen right away. (I'd save my money and wait fall 2007 or at least Spring 2007. That said, 4 month olds are a lot easier than 1 year olds. lol )

I've been lactating for at least a month. I thought that would help my milk production.

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She didn't say she was pumping--that's why I asked. It was the impression I got from what she said (quoted above).

I agree with the other moms here, I really can't believe what I'm reading and have been trying to wrap my mind around it to reply for the better part of a day. The sheer exhaustion and hormonal roller coaster that goes on for the first few months post partum makes a 40 hour class at a few weeks post partum incomprehensible to me as well.

DOS, pregnancy with its discomforts, is a piece of cake compared to what is yet to come. And I’m one of the more atypical moms with very rapid, unmedicated labors, and I was up and around and doing way more physical stuff than typical. I shoveled snow and resumed doing yoga (power yoga, not the more laid back style) within a couple of weeks of my first child’s birth, and drove us home from the hospital after my second was born last summer. I stubbornly did these things, but I was running on adrenaline and fumes for several months. It was a major feat to even eat a meal sitting down using silverware, lol, much less one that didn't consist of cereal or takeout/delivery or to brush my teeth or comb my hair those first couple of months . There is no way I would have willingly left the baby so soon for an optional weeklong course or school unless it was a total economic necessity.

Due to feeding issues with my firstborn, I exclusively pumped for a year. Exclusively pumping in and of itself was hugely time consuming and deprived me of the opportunity to sleep while the baby was sleeping, especially during the first two to three months when it was necessary to pump round the clock every couple of hours to establish and maintain an adequate milk supply for one baby, much less twins. You can have an army of helpers on hand to cope with twins and I hope you do, but even so, those helpers can’t pump the milk for you every couple of hours or nurse your babies directly. Adding on the complexity of having two newborn and probably preemie infants, another child(ren?) to care for, going away for a full time CPS course shortly after the birth of twins, and going back to school full time, is truly beyond all comprehension.

If you’re pumping prior to giving birth, you’re adding to the already heightened risk of preterm labor. Pumping is actually one of the ways some women attempt to induce labor on their own when they're full term. Keep the babies cooking as long as possible to decrease their risk of breathing, feeding and other pre-term associated problems. Even my oldest DD, who was born just shy of 37 weeks, couldn’t latch well and ended up with severe jaundice. We never overcame the early latching issues well enough to forgo exclusively pumping for her. My youngest was born at about 39 weeks and had no problem with latching from the get go. It’s amazing the difference a couple more weeks of gestation can make, and with twins even a few days can be significant for their well being.

On a lighter note, don't worry about what pant size you will fit into right away. Trust me, it simply won't be a priority for a while, and the pregnancy weight will come off rapidly those first few weeks.

Wow you ladies are really making me think about this! I just assumed since my doctor said if it was after 6 weeks i could do it it meant i could do it if i put my mind to (i think i've said before that i'm stubborn) I think i'm going the heed your advise and pass up my place to my SIL. She's much more able to take the class and do well. I really do want to take it but you are all very right and i am being silly to take the time away from my babies to do it. I'll wait and do it next summer if its possible then.

I;m not pumping! I did get poor information on the net and began using a manual pump to relief the swelling but i did it all of once or twice before i quit b/c it didnt seem to help and just made them hurt worse and i mentioned the swelling to the doctor and he said not to do it. We bought the pump b/c its a good deal, our hospital wants 50 dollars a month, so i got a great deal! I dont seem to be having any contractions from any nipple stimulation (showering/clothes) My body seems to want to make it to full term (YAY!)

I will be starting school in mid august. I have a scholarship that pays half my tuition but only for a set number of consecutive semesters. I didnt use all of it this summer and had to pay back the money paid for spring. I need that money and only have enough left to finish my degree if i go back in august. I have to take 30 class hours a year so i need to take at least 10 hours. Our school is very laid back and allows us to leave classes and miss classes when necessary without penalty so nursing breaks wont affect my schooling or be much of a problem there.

I just wish i knew what i needed in the hospital. I cant decide on clothes for me and for them. My SIL packed tons more than anyone said she'd need and she ended up sending for more b/c DN got it dirty day 1 and she was there three days. (mel, its strange, DN didnt fit newborn stuff at all and he was 8 lbs, Nick is 9 according to your sig and doesnt fit them yet!) I dont know how long they'll be there or what they need. I cant decide between blanket sleepers or onesies. Its june in SC so its 96 degrees outside but 66 degrees in most buildings. How do you dress a baby for that? I get comments constantly that ryan is dresses too warm or too cold, what happens with really little ones?

Believe it or not what pants to take is important to me. Call it hormones if you like (i'm sure thats what it is) but i want to have something that fits and it makes me angry i dont know what will fit!

and mel, dont bring up circumcision b/c thats another thing i've yet to decide on. Oh so much to do so little time! But you do make a good point about the dipes! I think i'll wait until they're home and use disposables (gross! but you do what you gotta do!) in the hospital.

I also have the car seat worries. I cant decide if i need to get a set with lower low slots to fit them. The evenflo embrace is really low and would most likely fit better. I hate the seat we got for DF's car (snugrides). They just dont seem as safe as the ones in my car. We bought them b/c they are rather cheap and were considered some of the best before all the new seats came out this year. Now i want to replace them. The older kids have marathons in his car (or will when needed) why did i scrimp on safety for my little ones?

As far as what to take to the hospital, take your maternity pants. Or a dress that you can nurse in. I've done both and the dress was the smarter of the two because I found I was more comfortable, especially with Joyjoy when I had several stitches. Also, if it's a loose-fitting dress some regular nursing dresses will fit. Motherwear has nice things, and you can find them on Ebay fairly inexpensively sometimes.

For the babies, definately get a few preemie outfits. Joyjoy was 7 lbs 13 oz, and Gregory was 7 lbs 12 oz, and they wore newborn sizes for a while. Gregory was probably 9 weeks before he fit 3-6 mos sizes, Joyjoy wore 0-3 mos clothes until she was nearly 5 mos. She swam even in her newborn stuff for a while.