im still shaking now - how can people be so ignorant!

Aurinia

New member
ive just gotten dropped off by a friend(?) - we go meet up every wednesday night. she has a son (3 mths) and i told her previously when she was still pregnant about the whole rf carseat issue. she seemed interested in a way but then said she has got her sisters old car seat (ff)
anyway tonight i told her, in the car, that there is some new developments regarding rf car seats in teh eu (i live in england) and that anec are having a meeting in december to discuss future plans of phasing out ff seats.
then she just proceeds to cut me off with a very harsh "we're not interested". :jaw: :( i was so shocked i didnt know what to say and my heart was actually racing. i said that its just that some people ive talked to havent been aware about certain issues regarding safety with car seats and that i just feel like i want to let people know. she said harshly "we've got my sisters car seat anyway" i couldnt keep my mouth shut i guess but i cant just let it rest - i feel like that childs life is somehow in my hands aswell and would feel terrible if something happened - id feel like i didnt push the matter far enough. i then said just to make sure its not expired as they're not safe when they're older than 4 - 6 years depending on make.
she cahnged the subject completely without further comment.
im still shaking now and feel quite upset...... i jsut cant believe she said that and more the way she said it. ive had people say they're not interested before but never so rudely and abruptly - its like i was trying to get her to do something to her ds that would harm him. :(
dp just said let it rest but i feel really upset. im gonna talk to my sister tomorrow cos she's more her friend than mine.
how can people be so awful though, i feel like crying! :crying:
 
ADS

firemomof3

New member
Oh, I understand what your going through! Last year my good friend put her tiny 3y/o in a booster seat and I tried so hard to educate her and talk to her...she just wouldn't listen! Now, when I try to talk to her about car seats she always changes the subject and just doesn't want to hear it. We can all do our best to educate, and we will make a difference with some but not all. Just hang in there!! :thumbsup:
 

SPJ&E

New member
All we can do is put the information out there...we can't make anyone take it. Some will make better choices (and I really do believe that every single one counts) and some won't, no matter what you say or do. Her child's life is in her hands...she's got the information and what she does with it is all on her, not you. Try not to take it too personally...some are just really stubborn and set in their ways!
 

mish

New member
My advice would be to totally drop it. Honestly, you should have when she told you that she wasn't interested. She knows how you feel, and if you have questions, she will ask you. It is sad that people don't worry as much as we do and it totally frustrates me. She knows you are knowledgable and will come to you if she wants advice.

I don't know why she was so harsh with you, but it might not have anything to do with you. She could just be having a bad day. Do you bring it up to her a lot? She could be feeling attacked. We all know how hard it is to be a parent. It is frustrating when it seems like people are always second guessing us.

Good job on spreading the word about Child Passenger Safety! We can't reach everyone, but every little bit helps.
 

Blondie87

New member
Yeah my friend is only a couple years older than me and she has her 3 year old in a booster and her 14 month old FF (since like 9 months-when he hit 20 lbs). I sent her the Kyle video and she called me and freaked out saying it made her cry and that she would put him in a carseat.. but I don't think she's changed anything. I have tried to share alot of rear facing information with her, but she still has her poor lil 14 month old FF..
 

MyLittleTyke

Senior Community Member
(((hugs))) I'm sorry. That is so frustrating. Just remember, "not your child, not your choice." That mantra is my best friend. You presented her with the information, she is choosing not to follow. That is my personal line. If I say something and nothing changes, I tried. I cannot force someone to change anything. All I can do is present the information. If something were to happen to that child, I would be very sad, but I would know that I did what I could do. If I didn't say something, and something happened to the child, that is when I would feel guilty.
 

tanyaandallie

Senior Community Member
(((hugs))) I'm sorry. That is so frustrating. Just remember, "not your child, not your choice." That mantra is my best friend. You presented her with the information, she is choosing not to follow. That is my personal line. If I say something and nothing changes, I tried. I cannot force someone to change anything. All I can do is present the information. If something were to happen to that child, I would be very sad, but I would know that I did what I could do. If I didn't say something, and something happened to the child, that is when I would feel guilty.

I totally agree. All you can do is provide the information. You cannot force someone to make the right choice. I'd let it lie.
 

Aurinia

New member
i guess this is all still quite fresh in my head, all this rf / ff / extended harnessing info and im still shocked by the pictures ive seen, videos on youtube and stories of little ones who werent so lucky which i guess could make me a bit too enthusiastic... maybe i was pushy but its hardly like i was trying to get her to give her barely 3mth old baby chocolate "cos itll do him good" or whatever... :mad: ive had some heated debates on the net with people i dont know in real life and although it upsets me if they're not interested i move on cos i dont know them and was only putting info on a public forum.
but with my friend (?) i honestly thought she'd be one of those who are keen on the idea. she's bright, she's very responsible, always friendly and helpful and polite etc... so when she did that it was so out of character for her too which added to the shock...:(
 

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