Do you say anything?

Wife&MomX3 · Oct 26, 2008

When you see ppl doing things blatantly wrong, dangerous, and/or illegal in regards to car safety w/ their kids, do you say anything? I don't mean like when you see a toddler FFing who could easily still be RFing. Obviously you'd like their parents to turn them back RF for their safety, but they arent doing anything illegal, and a random stranger giving advice on a better way to do things is usually not well received. But I mean like if you C a child who is OBVIOUSLY too small for the booster seat they are in, or a person sticking an infant carrier on the backseat and not even buckling it in.

mykidsmylife · Oct 26, 2008

Yes I do! I figured out real quick how to approach people without offending them. Some people still get offended though.
In El Paso the main thing I saw was expired car seats, infant carriers installed ff etc.. For those people I approached them and gave them a flier where they could go and get a free carseat. They have to take a carseat safety class to get the carseat so I knew they would learn more then.

People were grateful 99% of the time.

Here it is a little different. I don't approach people about infants under a year ff b/c the German law allowa it at 9m. Most of the people that do it on base are using American carseats though doing this.

I did aproach a mom the other day about her 5 yr old not being in a booster. I explained to her that the German law is 12 yr or 4'11" and it applies to military families on and off post. She was a little embarresed. I also told her her other 2 children needed boosters. That just pissed her off. Turns out she is PTA president so I don't think I will be voulenteering anytime soon. LOL...

My fav thing is notes though....

Kat_Momof3 · Oct 26, 2008

yes, unless I can't due to my kids acting up (when they are with me).

It's only happened once that they were that way, but I still managed to call 911 and report them... I pulled over, let Ruthie finish her tantrum because she didn't get the balloon she wanted that the store in question had up for a special occasion, not for giving out while I stood outside the car and called.

Then I just hopped back in the car.

But that was when I happened to see some silly person putting a baby in the backseat with just a seatbelt... a small baby.

capeKO71 · Oct 26, 2008

I'll do it if I don't feel like I'm putting myself or the people around me in any sort of "situation".

If I'm out and about and I see it - it's really a judgment call. Plus - I don't want to get in the situation of doing a "seat check" un-prepared - but I will say something like "it doesn't look like you seat is in correctly - did you know you can go to XYZ and get your seat checked?"

I don't do it with my kids with me.

If its something really bad - and it doesn't look like a friendly situation, I simply call the police.

MissAllyLou · Oct 26, 2008

If it's bad ... like a ffing infant seat, I'll approach if I'm not with any of the kids. I will say something like, "Hey, I noticed your seat looks like it's not buckled in right, would you mind if I looked at it?" Then I will hand them one of my business cards, which states that I'm a CPST, and has a few websites that they can go to, to check out their seats. I've only had one person become upset with me, so I just apologized for butting in, handed her my card, and walked away.

If it's something like a belly clip, a puffy coat, or kinda loose straps, I usually pick my battles. Most of the time those parents don't care what I have to say. :twocents:

brelza · Oct 26, 2008

Wife&MomX3 said:
When you see ppl doing things blatantly wrong, dangerous, and/or illegal in regards to car safety w/ their kids, do you say anything? I don't mean like when you see a toddler FFing who could easily still be RFing. Obviously you'd like their parents to turn them back RF for their safety, but they arent doing anything illegal, and a random stranger giving advice on a better way to do things is usually not well received. But I mean like if you C a child who is OBVIOUSLY too small for the booster seat they are in, or a person sticking an infant carrier on the backseat and not even buckling it in.

I have battled with this. I've seen people NOT using anything for 3y/os. I've seen people use no back boosters in the middle seat w/no shoulder strap. I've seen kids jumping around the backs of vehicles unrestrained. Just the other day I seen an infant (probably 2 mo) being held in an adults arms in the front passenger seat while a child sat behind them in the middle row of a minivan HOLDING THE INFANT CARRIER CAR SEAT IN THEIR LAP!!! Although it bothers me, we live in an area in which if you value your life...you keep quiet.

I do try to let people I KNOW why I do the things I do---I have my nearly 9y/o in a britax monarch, my 7.5y/o in a columbia 5pt, my 6y/o in a regent 5pt, and my 3.5y/o in a regent 5pt. I HATE that they get up and go to school on a bus with NO seatbelts/restraints but I can't seem to get them all up and out the door in time and with gas prices to get to school...I admit..I feel guilty about it.

Andie · Oct 26, 2008

I don't have the guts (and am not certified, so I doubt they'd care to listen) to approach people. But I have called the police on people that are doing something completely illegal. Specifically, unrestrained children. Our law is 8 or 4'9" to be out of a seat. I've seen 18 month olds unrestrained. I want to get some notes printed out for some of the cars I've seen. I'd put a CPST's card on them so they can call to get a check.

Wife&MomX3 · Oct 26, 2008

I understand about not wanting to "get into it" with ppl, if they seem confrontational or if U have yer kids with U, and I agree. I think if I was a CPST (which I may become sooner rather than later

) and had cards to give out, then I'd feel that ppl may actually care about me 'butting in' or correcting them. When it comes to parenting, lots of stuff is looked at by ppl as just preference from parent to parent, not one choice being better than another. Sadly, car safety is one of them

I try to say something if I can, especially if it's something really bad. But when it's something less serious (bundle me or bulky coat, straps a bit loose or clip too low) and it's somebody who I'll see again (like at church) I wonder how to handle it. Should I say something right then, running the risk of them getting offended and not wanting to hear anything else from me? OR do I wait for a good time to bring it into a convo, so that I can potentially give them more advice later, instead of them closing off to me for butting in, kwim?

Today was a good day, tho! Last week I saw a car pull out of the lot w/ a child sitting on the front passengers lap. I thought I recognized the driver, so this week I asked her if it was her that I saw. She said yeah, with a sigh. I told her (nicely) that was dangerous, and she said she knows, and doesnt like giving that many ppl a ride anyway, so she's working on it. A little while later she was talking to her dd near me and said something about another person giving their relative a ride. Then added loudly "Cuz Sam yelled at me" w/ a joking smile. Then we talked a bit and she said she was glad I said something, cuz she did know better, but sometimes ppl need reminders. Im just so glad I went with my gut to help protect a child, instead of being scared of making things weird btwn myself and the other person of whatever.

Defrost · Oct 26, 2008

I try to be very diplomatic if I do say something, but I don't generally approach people at all.

Sometimes things just slip out, though. At work last week I carried an order out to the car for a woman because she had her hands full with her baby; not sure of his age, but he was just barely walking. When we got out there, she opened up the back door of the car and had me put the pizzas in the rear outboard position. The rest of the back seat was full of boxes and stuff. Dad was in the driver's seat.

When I realized that the baby was clearly riding in Mom's lap in the front seat, I blurted "Oh, you don't have a carseat!" Mom didn't say anything to that, though, just told me thanks for carrying the order out.

I can only hope she THINKS about it and gets a carseat!

BW1426 · Oct 26, 2008

I don't. I do seek out people in the carseat aisle to help them make good carseat choices

These people have been pretty appreciative for the most part. If you can frame something in a way so that it deals with them saving money in the long run, they're generally very receptive

A mom sent her mother in to Target to get a pink carseat for her 1 year old daughter. Grandma finds the princess turbo booster and goes perfect.

I told her that wasn't a good choice for a 1 year old so she went to the pink comfort sport :shakeshead: I really tried to push her towards the EFTA. She said she'd go home and talk to her daughter, but daughter was pretty set on a pink seat :hitselfonhead:

tweetykl · Oct 26, 2008

I have not been but I think I am going to start because it drives me crazy. I have spoken up with my friends and I have been able to convince one out of three of them to use a harnessed booster rather then just a booster for their 2/3 year olds.

jen_nah · Oct 27, 2008

Wife&MomX3 said:
I understand about not wanting to "get into it" with ppl, if they seem confrontational or if U have yer kids with U, and I agree. I think if I was a CPST (which I may become sooner rather than later ) and had cards to give out, then I'd feel that ppl may actually care about me 'butting in' or correcting them. When it comes to parenting, lots of stuff is looked at by ppl as just preference from parent to parent, not one choice being better than another. Sadly, car safety is one of them
I try to say something if I can, especially if it's something really bad. But when it's something less serious (bundle me or bulky coat, straps a bit loose or clip too low) and it's somebody who I'll see again (like at church) I wonder how to handle it. Should I say something right then, running the risk of them getting offended and not wanting to hear anything else from me? OR do I wait for a good time to bring it into a convo, so that I can potentially give them more advice later, instead of them closing off to me for butting in, kwim?

Today was a good day, tho! Last week I saw a car pull out of the lot w/ a child sitting on the front passengers lap. I thought I recognized the driver, so this week I asked her if it was her that I saw. She said yeah, with a sigh. I told her (nicely) that was dangerous, and she said she knows, and doesnt like giving that many ppl a ride anyway, so she's working on it. A little while later she was talking to her dd near me and said something about another person giving their relative a ride. Then added loudly "Cuz Sam yelled at me" w/ a joking smile. Then we talked a bit and she said she was glad I said something, cuz she did know better, but sometimes ppl need reminders. Im just so glad I went with my gut to help protect a child, instead of being scared of making things weird btwn myself and the other person of whatever.

I have been a CPS tech & now instructor for a long time and I can tell you that people don't care what your title is when you start questioning them their parenting.

I don't say anything because there are many people out there that will get physical over something like this. If I am on the road and see someone breaking the law (unrestrained child) then I call the police and let them handle it.

If it's in a parking lot and I see it then I place a Safe Kids flier that talks about proper fit, seat selection & proper harnessing. It also has our local fitting station numbers on it to make an appt.

For me I guess I have been around it long enough now that I am at the point that I am putting more of my energy and hard work into helping the families that want the help. I am tired of caring for other people's kids then they care for them. I know that sounds harsh but these parents are not stupid & clueless of the laws. Almost all of them can read the manuals but choice to not do so. If they simple read their manual they would know how to use & install their car seats.

Wife&MomX3 · Oct 27, 2008

Thanx for letting me knwo that a title doesnt neccesarily help. I hate to think one day I'll become to tired or jaded to at least want to say something, but then again, that would make life easier.

ketchupqueen · Oct 27, 2008

I pick my battles.

I also find that first-time new parents are more responsive than others most of the time. They're learning all this from scratch and if you praise their beautiful baby and just say, "You know, something I learned is that..." and make a point of "this is really complicated but I know you want to keep your baby safe, this is where you can go for more information!" they respond better most of the time.

If it's older kids in boosters I don't say anything even if they really should be in a seat.

If it was a baby in a booster or a FF infant seat or a completely unrestrained child or a 1 year old in seatbelt only, I'd call the cops.

Wife&MomX3 · Oct 27, 2008

ketchupqueen said:
I pick my battles.
They're learning all this from scratch and if you praise their beautiful baby and just say, "You know, something I learned is that..." and make a point of "this is really complicated but I know you want to keep your baby safe, this is where you can go for more information!" they respond better most of the time.

If it's older kids in boosters I don't say anything even if they really should be in a seat.

Ive done that before, taken a "you know wut I learned" approach, lettin them know that it's something that even *I* didnt know at some point

They changed some laws in my state in 06, so I was able to use "it's a newer law that many ppl dont know" when tellin an acquaintance why her 3.5yo dd who is as small as my just turned 2yo shouldnt be in a backless booster! And I check laws in other ppl's states, if Im talking to friends from other parts of the country. I was also able to use the law and safety to get a friend in WY to stop using just a backless booster for their small just turned 2yo.

Do you say anything?

Wife&MomX3

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mykidsmylife

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Kat_Momof3

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capeKO71

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MissAllyLou

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brelza

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Andie

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Wife&MomX3

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Defrost

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BW1426

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tweetykl

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jen_nah

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Wife&MomX3

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ketchupqueen

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Wife&MomX3

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